Learning Self-Love. Simone Janson

me more. Conversely, however: if it doesn't work, I'm not loved.

      And just because of this desire for recognition out then you do stupid things: You can be burdened eg mountains of work, because you do not dare to say no - the boss, the colleagues, the man could be mad at you. So love withdrawal. I exaggerate that quite deliberately - maybe you are only afraid of the conflict, want to have his peace.

      Convention prevents saying no

      And it is also a social convention, especially with women, that you are not loud, not rebelled, not "fidgeting", well-behaved yes, smiles nicely. Maybe the others have got used to the fact that everything is always organized, managed, thrown out and don't see the problem.

      How strong this convention is, how much the boss, colleague, husband expects, is always noticed when you say no - then suddenly all are very, very, very surprised. One more reason to give it a try. If you do not dare, you can try it on a test basis in points where it is not so important - such as with small test balloons. Just look how far you can go to see what happens. Can be fun too.

      No-say helps with time management!

      This is so important because it is the solution to many time management problems: If you just think about it, what I want and what I care about and then focus on it and not from other people of its goal has already gained much.

      Or by simply turning off the phone, the eMails not calling etc. It is important, however, that you argue your “no” well. The moment you freak out of sheer stress, it's already too late. You have to start much earlier and, for example, explain to the boss that he has more of it when they come to work rested. Or show that you can do the same in less time.

      Respect please!

      Because that's perfidious: the others often do not take it as badly as you might think. In Amy Chua's book, there is a very nice example: The older daughter, who always does well, what the mother says is shouted because she did something wrong.

      And she complains that the younger daughter, who rebels against her and always defies, is never yelled at, but on the contrary bribed with gifts.

      The others are always promoted

      And it is exactly the same in professional life: it is not the promotion of those who have done a great deal. Because this is often the people who can not show themselves so well. And because the boss thinks: Hard working beekeeper, super, keep doing so.

      But he does not respect the performance. This is exactly the case, according to a study by the Respect Research Group at the University of Hamburg. One is much more respected, if one is to its aims and which communicates friendly, but definitely.

      Happiness Satisfaction Self-love: 10 tips for more zest for life

      // By Roland Arndt

      What is the meaning of our existence? This question arises - more or less often - everyone. We want to achieve happiness and success. With personal commitment, perseverance, hard work and performance we pursue this goal. But what does that mean exactly?

      Not with me!

      We face bureaucratic energy guzzlers and suffer more and more from stress. Fast results and numbers are more important than interpersonal relationships. The way up turns out to be a negative spiral. Unless someone says

       STOP!

       Not with me!

      Transform destiny blows into successes

      By putting love at the center of my thinking and acting, I have been able to overcome the greatest stroke of fate that can strike a man and a father. Even more: I have turned him into a life success.

      For example this shock: I come home from a successful but exhausting seminar week. But instead of my longed-for family, a note with a succinct note awaits me. My wife had left me with our two sons! They are just gone! Location unknown.

      Negative feelings that throw you out of the way

      The negative feelings threatened me - an always positively thinking man - to throw out of the track. Have we lived past each other? Have I seen only what I wanted to see? I could not believe it. My life was turned completely out of the blue.

      In my career as a coach and coach, I always try to convey that we can develop our personality through the combination of heart and mind and gain authenticity as the basis for the success. Emotions play an enormous role when it comes to important decisions. Because of this the following activities are dependent - wrong or correct.

      From the crisis new strength

      Incidentally, most of the company's employer / insolvency activities are caused by divorces or other family disputes, said an insolvency administrator. It is never in vain for us to go through a crisis.

      It hurts though. But we learn from it and can draw new strength for and in our profession. For entrepreneurs, executives and employees, it is important to develop and use individual solutions ... Then everyone is helped, the individual with their family and for their own career and the respective corporate success.

      Connection of heart and mind

      Our perception needs a connection to the heart and mind. Only as a "heart thinker" can I change my world. I myself accepted the situation - despite not understanding it - and was determined to master it by placing love at the center of my activities. Finally I loved my wife (still). And I loved my sons more than anything.

      I am convinced that I owe it to this decision to love, that today I am allowed to live happily with my sons and in a new partnership. Because: love is stronger than the end of the world.

      10 tips for the recipe for success love

      Love for yourself and others is equally important for success in career and life. But what can you do specifically? 10 tips for the recipe for success love:

      1 Do not look for a culprit! If something goes wrong professionally or privately, we quickly look for a guilty party that we can be held accountable for. However, we ourselves are involved in our decisions and often have “caused” the causes.

      2 Accept changes: The end is already included in the start of a relationship - at the latest when a partner dies. Often, however, the “best before” date has expired earlier. Even people in a partnership do not always develop synchronously. Often one of the two stops or one overtakes the other, e.g. B. through increased awareness or new, completely different goals.

      3 Forgive and let go: This does not succeed from the beginning and certainly not as long as we still have hope for a common solution in us. But when everything seems broken, we have the right to purify our hearts and rebuild our future. Even at work, a reorientation can release fresh forces. Ignoring your own strengths, the working day can be torment despite good pay.

      4 Reverse negative experiences: Anyone who has mastered a conflict situation can recognize (as often only in retrospect) how well-negatively perceived situations or people have themselves on one. Only by dealing with this can one develop further, learn something to it and lay the foundation stone for new successes.

      5 Impulses for reflection: Let yourself be touched. For example, reading my novel in which I tell the story of a great love and dramatic separation, the bond between fathers and children and a new beginning.

      6 Allow fears: Dare to talk about personal concerns, even at work. Sick stress and private crises become a kind of “food supplement” that we eat into ourselves and that slowly but surely kills us. Studies show