This Summer. Katlyn Duncan

you know you are going to feel like crap.”

      “I forgot you wrote the book on boyfriends.” The words slip out of my mouth before I can stop them.

      I don’t look at her, but I know she’s chewing her lip.

      “You’re right. But I’ve dated enough to know that this isn’t going to turn out well.”

      We rarely argue and she has to know I didn’t mean it. I don’t do conflict so, in typical best friend fashion, she drops it. Our relationship is strong because we’re able to be honest with each other. She’s dished it out at me a few times but I never faulted her. But that doesn't make it feel any better.

      “Maybe Dad will switch Carter with someone else,” I offer by way of apology.

      She points a solitary finger up as if strengthening her point. “As long as I’m not with Umber again.”

      Ethan leans over the console. “I don’t think Umber applied this year after you sent him that beauty basket.”

      She cracks a smile. “After a summer working with his body odor, it was just a small suggestion.”

      I laugh. “I think he got the hint. Especially the amount of soap you put in there.”

      She shrugs. “His future wife will thank me.” We arrive at the park in twenty minutes. Walking through the woods across from my house we would have been there in half the time, but it was humid enough for June that we drove. Lily refused to walk, not wanting to arrive sweaty for her first impression at camp orientation. We were all certified for the job earlier that year during spring break, but today we’ll be paired up and strengthening the relationship amongst the staff. Dad’s phrasing. Mostly it's first impressions and final pairings for the staff that we care about.

      Lily pulls into a parking spot at the back of the tan brick building that serves as the office for the Parks Department. Dad is the head of the department that takes care of the local parks and the summer camp program that I’ve been involved with since I was old enough to attend. When I turned sixteen I took the role of counselor. I managed to convince Lily to apply two summers ago. It was the best summer at camp by far. And also the worst.

      Ethan jumps out of the car just as Daisy Luster pulls up in the spot next to us. He slams the door and hurries over to her, scooping her up in a bear hug. She squeals and tucks her head into his neck, her black hair coiling around his neck like a snake.

      “Who’s the girl?” Lily observes.

      I don’t acknowledge the undertone in her voice. “Daisy? She’s a swimmer at Foster’s Academy. Her and Ethan coach the kids at the community center over the winter. I guess she made the cut this year.”

      Lily pulls her keys out of the ignition and opens her door without another word. When we reach the sidewalk I sling an arm around her and we walk towards the entrance.

      “You’d tell me if you saw who I’m paired with this year right?” Lily asks.

      I open the front door and usher her inside. “You know my dad,” I reply. Dad insisted from the start of us working here that Ethan and I go through the same process as the rest of the employees. He didn’t play favorites, which made us proving ourselves to the staff that much harder. But neither of us minded the challenge.

      “Hey Rocky,” I beam at the man sitting at the front desk. The corners of his eyes crinkle with his sweet smile. He lifts his worn fishing hat in greeting, revealing a smattering of thin white hair poking up at all angles.

      We wave and pass through another door.

      “That’s not an answer,” Lily says in a sing-song voice.

      “No I have not seen it,” I assure her.

      “God, how can you stand it?” she gripes. “You know you’re with Carter.”

      “Because we were last year,” I say. Dad rarely separated returning co-counselors since the bond is already established.

      “Hadley,” a familiar voice calls from behind us.

      I turn to see Carter, meeting his ice blue eyes. He swipes a chunk of dark hair away from his face as he pushes away from the wall. Was he waiting for me? I still don't understand why the Adonis walking towards us came down the high school social ladder to pluck me from the masses, but I never questioned it. Not when he filled the truck-sized void in my heart, at least for a little while. But the tightness at the corners of his eyes makes me pause.

      “Hey Carter,” I say.

      “I’ll see you inside,” Lily adds and slowly walks backward towards the meeting room, her eyes darting between us.

      I shake my head. Lily can be a drama queen sometimes. “What’s up?”

      He shoves his hands into his pockets, avoiding eye contact. This was that weird place exes went to, but I promised myself throughout my vacation that we’d make this work over the summer. “I called you.”

      “I know, I got home late.”

      His gaze flicks towards the room then back to me. “I wanted to tell you before you found out…”

      “Found out what? Are you okay?” I don't want him to think that we can't make this work.

      “I’m fine. I just—”

      Ethan and Daisy come through the door, his arm around her shoulders. “Hey Carter!” he says, nodding in our direction.

      “Hey,” Carter says, deflated.

      They enter the meeting room and I turn back to Carter. “It’s fine,” I say, just as he says, “I need to tell you something.”

      I press my lips together, hoping that he won’t ask for us to get back together, as some of his earlier texts suggested.

      “I spoke with your Dad,” he says. “And—” he pulls his fingers through his hair, nervously. “I took another position.”

      I stare at him. “What?”

      He shrugs his shoulders. “I can’t work with you and not,” he pauses and continues in a low voice, “be with you.”

      My mouth goes dry and I have to force the words through my lips. “What do you mean?”

      “Remember when Justin Hardy broke his leg at Katie’s house?”

      I take a deep breath. “Yes? What does that have to do with camp?”

      He leans in. “He lost his position at the pool because he won’t recover until at least the middle of the summer. And with me working at the pool two years ago, it worked out. I give you the space you want and I won’t have to want you, like, every second we’re together.” He tucks my hair behind my ear, just like he always used to.

      I almost lean into his hand. The familiarity of his touch makes me pause. I can’t fall back into this. “So you just quit the camp?”

      “I’ll technically be working with the campers, just not as a counselor. Come on Hadley, you were the one to break it off.”

      I raise my fists at him. “We both did!”

      “You suggested it.”

      I touch my temples. This is not happening. “This isn’t high school anymore, Carter. We’re leaving in the fall. Whether we break up now or then, we’re still going to break up.”

      He steps away from me, his hand falling to his side. “I can’t be friends with you. Not when I’ll be with you for eight hours a day. It’s not fair—”

      “But you said—”

      “I know what I said. But if we’re breaking up, we need to break up. I’m not really friends with my exes.”

      I shake my head, wishing I could understand where he's coming from. “I can’t believe this,” I say,