Streets of New York. Mark Anthony

ain’t know if you was dead or what! Where you been at?”

      At that point, the bouncer stepped up and asked, “Yo, Show, is dude cool wit’ you?”

      “Yeah, no doubt! This is my muthafuckin’ man right here!”

      The bouncer came up to me and attempted to give me a pound, “Pardon me, I was just doing my job.”

      I didn’t even acknowledge the bouncer. I simply took Marissa by the hand and followed Show into the packed club.

      Fat Joe’s Lean Back was still blasting in the background and people were literally losing their minds on the dance floor doing the Rockaway dance.

      I shouted over the song, “Marissa this is my man Show! He’s the one that I had been telling you about! Show, this is my girl, Marissa. I’m staying with her out in Philly!”

      “Word! That’s what I’m talkin’ bout. Nice to meet you, sweetheart!” Show shouted back as he also scoped out Marissa’s body.

      Marissa was wearing some open toe high heel shoes, a mini skirt and a backless top. She had tattoos on her lower back, thighs and lower abs. She started grabbing on me trying to get me to dance but I wasn’t in the mood for dancing. How could I wanna dance after just being reunited with my peoples who I hadn’t seen in over a year? And now here I was finally chillin’ with them. Right on cue with the song, I recited the lyrics to Marissa.

      “Niggas don’t dance, we just pull up our pants and do the Rockaway. Now lean back... lean back...”

      Show put his shirt on and lead us to the bar. He got us drinks and then he took us to the crowded VIP area. I immediately saw Squeeze posted up with two honeys. I used to sport braids and never have any facial hair, but since I had been on the run I decided to keep my hair bald and to grow out my mustache and goatee. I wasn’t sure if Squeeze immediately recognized me when he saw me. I certainly recognized him.

      “What up, baby pa?” I said as I looked at Squeeze and attempted to get a pound and hug from him. All the while interrupting the conversation he had going on with the two honeys.

      Squeeze paused and looked at me. I couldn’t tell what was going on in his mind but I knew that he had to know who I was. After all, I had been his man for years.

      “It’s Promise!” I replied to Squeeze’s puzzled look.

      “Oh shit! ‘cuse me, ladies... My muthafuckin’ nigga, Promise! Where the fuck you been at?” Squeeze said, finally snapping out of whatever zone he was in.

      “Been hidin’ out, nigga. Jake’s looking for me kid!”

      While lifting his drink to his mouth, Squeeze purposely showed off his iced out watch, then sipped.

      “I kinda figured you was on the run... you on the news like every night for a couple of weeks...” he smiled showing his platinum grillz.

      Squeeze then took me to the side so that we were out of earshot of everyone else and asked, “I been wantin’ to ask you, what da’ fuck was you thinkin’ when you popped that cop? And then on top of that you tossed the gun in the sewer while somebody was watching your every move?”

      Actually, I had never known that someone had seen me toss the gun in the sewer. I had just figured that it was good police work that had led them to the murder weapon so quickly.

      “Squeeze, on the real, I don’t even wanna talk about that right now. I just gotta get my hands on some paper and get my situation correct. The muthafuckin’ state got my daughter and the whole nine! Remember that chick, Audrey, that I was fuckin’ wit?”

      “The schoolteacher?”

      “Yeah her... Well she got bagged!” I paused tugging my goatee and stared at him. He looked kind a shook up. “She doing federal time because of a nigga.” I continued. He stared at me as if I was making a joke. Then he slowly smiled.

      “Get da’ fuck outta here!” Squeeze replied.

      “Word is bond! We was robbing banks down in Virginia, Bonnie and Clyde style, and the feds rolled on us. She got caught out there but I bounced on them cats and made it to Baltimore. I was hiding out there and hustling out there for a minute. Then I met my girl Marissa, and I been chillin’ wit’ her for the past six months... She’s been holding me down. Her man is locked up but he stashed some paper before he went up and we been eating off that.”

      Squeeze shook his head. He took another drink from his glass and he looked at me with the cockiest look imaginable. He stuck a toothpick in his mouth and twirled it around. He shook his head, smiled and said, “Dog, see, you in the predicament that you in cuz you started to lose that hunger! You kna’imean.”

      The music was blasting inside the club and I could barely hear what Squeeze was saying. Marissa spoke in my ear. She told me she was gonna head down to the dance floor. I instructed her to meet me in the strip club area in about fifteen or twenty minutes.

      I replied to Squeeze because I didn’t know where he was coming from. “Whatchu talkin’ about, kid?”

      “Come on man! You know exactly what I’m talking about. You started getting soft on niggas! You started losing that thirst for the streets. That’s why right after Pooh got killed, when me and Show started coming up and we got this club and we took over the Tompkins houses, it didn’t even faze me that you wasn’t around to trick off on all the cake that we been getting.”

      I looked at Squeeze but before I could comment he continued, “Dude, I’m just keepin’ it real. I mean, a lotta cats, if they ain’t see you in a year and y’all had been running together back in the days. They would look at you and tell you it’s all love and invite you right back into the mix to get this cake together. But I’m sayin’. You know me, dude. And you know how I gets down. We boyz and all but I’m just sayin’.”

      As I stood there listening to Squeeze, spitting arrogantly like he was the man, I couldn’t help but get tight like a mu’fucka. I knew I had to cut to the chase and get right to the heart of what Squeeze was getting at. Although I was heated, I managed to drum up a fake smile. I began to speak but Squeeze cut me off and continued feeling on himself.

      “I mean look at tonight, for example. You come up in my spot wit’ a fly-ass Puerto Rican chick talkin’ about how she’s been holding you down wit’ her man’s money! I mean, come on! Even if you are on the run, nigga, you gotta get out there and get yours.”

      I looked at Squeeze and the only thing that I could reply was, “What da’ fuck?”

      “Promise, you my man, but I’m just sayin’, I gotta tell you what you need to hear. And straight up on the real, you gotta decide what you want! Is it leeching off these hoes? Is it your daughter? Or is it this paper?” Squeeze asked pulling out a knot of $100 bills.

      I was heated but I had to remain on the humble because I wasn’t in no position to come at Squeeze in any other way but humble. See one thing about niggas is that if you let them talk long enough, eventually whatever is in their heart will come out of their mouth. From what Squeeze was spittin’, he was basically saying that the fact that we had been boyz for years didn’t mean shit! And the fact that we had did countless stick ups together, that too didn’t mean shit!

      Squeeze was making it clear to me that money will definitely change a nigga. He didn’t give a damn about my situation. The only thing that he cared about was his money. Back in the days if a cat had to go up north and do a bid, he could always count on his homeboys for holding down his spot for him until he did his time. And in my case it definitely should have been the same way. I was on the run for a year and not because I wanted to be on the run. It was the cards that I had been dealt.

      Matter of fact, it was Squeeze who had called me and told me that Pooh had been shot and that him and Show were ready to ride on Nine and his crew. I guess that my only mistake was trying to be a real nigga and be there for my crew... And where did that get my ass? It left me assed out! If I had stayed my ass home wit’ Audrey