When We Were Kittens. David Greagg

furious. I wasn't. I'd already gone to sit outside the room looking in, when I saw the stuff starting to drip on the walls.

      Come on, Shadow, I told her. This is no place for cats right now. Come and play outside. So we did that, and later on Man let us back in to our room - and it was all different! He had taken all the paper away from the floor, but the walls were bright and shiny. They still smelt weird but different-weird, and it was exciting in a funny way.

      Shadow looked at me. Well all right, she said, so our room's been redecorated. There's still something missing, however. Have you noticed our bed is still out on the side of the road?

      Well, yes, I told her. But if Man won't sleep on our bed on the road himself, I don't see why we should have to. I don't like all this, she answered. I wish he could have just left it alone.

      So we went into the Food Room and had dinner.

      Then someone knocked on the front of the house, Man went out to talk to him, and they both came in with a huge metal Thing, and a whole lot of other bits, and what looked like a big soft thing to lie on. We watched Man start playing with all the bits.

      Shadow said, You know what this is, don't you? This is a new bed; only it isn't right yet. He's doing things to it and soon we'll have a proper bed again in our room.

      Man dropped a big heavy thing, narrowly missing my sister. He said some words which sounded a bit cross, so we left him to it. A bit later he called us and we went in to see what he wanted.

      Shadow was right. There was our new bed just like she had said, with all our cloth things on it. Man called us onto the big new bed with him, so we all lay down and stretched out on it. We thought it was great. It's higher than our old bed and it's got metal things which stick up but it feels really great under paw. So we all found places to curl up and have a nap, and Woman came and hugged Man too and it was so cosy I fell asleep.

      Cats always want humans to leave our things alone, but since they can't seem to manage that it's good to know that they get it right in the end.

      5

      Our room smells better now. My sister isn't sure about the new bed but I like it. A huge car came and made a lot of noise outside. Our old bed is gone now, so maybe it went with the car.

      6

      I think Man and I have come to an understanding about the birds on our walks. There is a big bush where lots of them live, and I want to chase them and he doesn't want me to. So now, every time I get to their bush I have a bit of a stalk, and then he calls me away and I do what he wants. I don't want to kill them. I just want to play.

      7

      I think we are getting used to our room being so different. Man has made the bed go across the room instead of down; but I like this better. The walls still smell funny but it's OK. Tonight's walk was excellent and the flowers are wonderful. I keep stopping to stand up on back paws to smell them.

      8

      The mice must have gone away because we can't hear them anymore.

      9

      Nope. They just moved. Now they've gone behind the Hot Place where our Humans do things to their food. According to Belladonna it's called a stove. And she should know, because she sits there staring at it - a lot. And every now and again there is a rustling noise.

      Shadow keeps asking, What is it? Can you see anything there?

      And Belladonna says, SHUSH! If you want to catch mice you have to be very patient. And very quiet. You are currently neither. You should learn both.

      10

      Belladonna caught another mouse today. She was so quick we never even saw it. But one moment there was nothing there and the next there's a small dead mouse in the middle of the floor. She let Shadow play with it.

      I asked Belladonna if our humans minded her killing mice and she said, No they didn't. The important thing is not to play with them first. It's cruel and you shouldn't do it.

      Have you told her? I asked.

      Yes, but she pays no attention, Belladonna said. We're cats, and catching mice is one of the things we do. But no cruelty. That's why Man let the mouse go when your rude sister chased it all over the bathroom. What the humans are telling us is that mice are a pest and if you let them into your home they'll keep on nibbling until they've eaten the whole house. So we deal with them. But we don't terrify them out of their tiny wits first. You've seen what I do. You wait and wait and wait until they can't get away and you pounce. One whack to the side of their head and they go wherever mice go to afterwards.

      This must have been the longest speech Belladonna had ever made to either of us, and I sat there looking at her and taking it all in.

      Is this part of being a Good Cat? I asked.

      Yes, she said. You can get away with a lot if you play nicely. Tormenting small frightened animals isn't being a Good Cat; it's being a Bad Cat and you both know that. You chase birds, sometimes, don't you Dougal?

      I washed myself. It's true, I said. I can't help myself sometimes. But I let them go.

      Belladonna frowned at me. If you scare birds enough they sometimes stop working and just die of fright, she said. You need to stop doing it because there are a lot of birds in our yard, and they talk to each other all the time. You must have seen the big black crows out there. Yes, I said. They're very big and their beaks look very sharp and they're always saying AAARK!

      Belladonna scratched under her chin and then watched Shadow play with the dead mouse for a while before returning to our conversation. Yes, she said. Crows are very intelligent. They say they come here for food and water, but they say other things too. I heard them talking about Man once. It seems that Man saved one of them and took him off to get better somewhere. He had a broken wing and the other humans made it all better and then let him go. So they all say that Man is a Friend of Crows. Now what do you think might happen if you or your sister caught a crow? How would that look?

      It didn't sound good so I imagine it wouldn't look much better. OK, I said, that would be very bad. I don't know if my sister ever listens to us when we tell her not to do stuff, but I'll mention it.

      Mention what? asked Shadow, who was suddenly tired of her dead mouse.

      That you should not go chasing crows, said Belladonna sternly.

      Who me? Of course not! my sister said. What are crows?

      The big black birds that say AAAARRK, I explained. Shadow washed her paws thoughtfully. I don't go anywhere near them, she admitted. They're a bit scary with those beaks that could go straight through you.

      Just then there was a big AAAARK from the back yard. Shadow looked panicky. Are they coming after us?

      Yes they are, answered Belladonna. And they eat naughty kittens like you, so behave yourself! Shadow didn't say anything after that, but stalked out the front to be somewhere the crows weren't.

      Belladonna and I looked at the dead mouse. It looked a bit sad and I suddenly felt sorry for it. What shall we do with it? I asked her. We shouldn't just leave it there. Man will deal with it, she said. It's in The Rules. Then she went back to sleep so I left the room. I didn't feel comfortable with the poor little thing lying in the middle of the floor, but when I went back into the Food Room later on someone had taken it away, so I guess Belladonna was right. We catch the mice, the humans tidy them up and that way they know that we've been Good Cats. It makes sense.

      11

      There is a new Cat Castle out the front on the wooden bit. It's absolutely huge and it's got all these boxes underneath a big plastic thing. There are lots of places to hide in there and I love playing