When We Were Kittens. David Greagg

didn't like seeing Red Cat Two tied up, she said. Even though he is a menace. People shouldn't tie cats up! What if other people started doing that?

      That was a very bad thought. But I told her that our humans would never do that. They're kind and gentle and you saw how concerned Man was about Red Cat Two. I did admit that I was wondering who did that to him and why.

      Shadow had a bit of a think and then said, Look this happened outside Red Cat One's house. You know what a kind and gentle cat he is, and what a bully Red Cat Two is. Maybe Two invaded Red Cat One's home and the humans there said, Right that's it! I've had enough of you; we're going to make sure you don't do this again. I'll tie you up and that'll teach you.

      

I think you're right, I said. Man seemed angry though. I think he was shocked that anybody would do that for any reason.

      Do you think Man will let him go in the morning? she asked me. I told her I hoped so, and then we went to sleep.

      9

      As soon as it got light I went up the road by myself to see if he was still there. He wasn't. The food was all eaten, a little of the water was gone, but there was no cat to be seen and the leash wasn't there either. Man got up earlier than he usually does and went down to have a look. He brought back the bowl and dish and that made me think Man was going to let him go, but it looked like whoever had tied him up had done it. This seemed fair. I know he's an awful cat but nobody should be tied up for more than a little while. I would think it had been a long, cold, miserable night and with any luck he'd be a better cat for it.

      10

      Man cleaned out the pond where the birds like to play in the fountain. I could see why. The birds hadn't been around lately because it was full of smelly old leaves. We watched him dip big plastic buckets into the pond, take out the bad water and put it all over the garden. Then he carried buckets of fresh water and he filled it up again. I could hear the birds talking about it. I think they were pleased. They certainly came out to play later on in the clean water.

      11

      Our yard smells different today. It seems the plants really like it when Man put the smelly water on them, because everything was standing up taller than usual today.

      My sister hid in the purple flowers and pounced on me when I wasn't looking.

      12

      Today was almost hot, so I went onto the roof and had a long sleep. My sister played in the big tree and annoyed the birds for a while. I kept an ear open to see if anything bad was going to happen, but it sounded OK. The birds said some rude things to Shadow but she doesn't care. She just looks at them and says WHAT??? And then they give up.

      13

      Cold and wet again today. I didn't think we'd get a walk but Man took us up the road and back. Any further and my sister's paws would get too cold. Earlier we played Chasey up and down the house. We felt like we were kittens again.

      14

      Shadow has found a new interest in life. Every time one of our humans takes off their clothes and gets into the bath, she sits on the chair and watches them with wide eyes.

      When I asked why, she said, It's really interesting. I can't believe they do this and I just can't stop watching.

      I can't believe they do it either but I think it's a bit rude to watch them while they do it. I pointed out that it's not polite to watch another cat washing, because washing is Time Out. The same applies to our humans.

      Washing? she said. Is that what they're doing?

      I can't think why else they'd do it. When did you ever see a human washing like we do? I asked her. It's probably because there's Too Much Human to wash with their tongue like a sensible person, so they have to fill our bath with water and get in. So I leave them to their privacy. I'm sure they prefer it that way.

      Shadow won't agree on that one. She's way too fascinated with baths; and what humans do in them.

      15

      Today there was an agonised yelp from Woman in the bathroom and Shadow came running out looking really scared. What's wrong? I asked her.

      She sat on the Food Room floor and washed herself frantically. Nothing much, she said.

      Oh yes? What sort of nothing much? I inquired.

      She didn't want to tell me at first, but eventually confessed that Woman was getting out of the bath and she had sunk her claws into Woman, and Woman got a big shock and made a loud noise.

      So this might be your fault then? I asked her.

      What??? she said.

      Typical!

      16

      Well, today Shadow went one better. Man was having a bath and, as I was walking past the bathroom, I saw my sister jump onto the edge and rub herself up against him. Even though Man was talking to her and stroking her head, I felt I should remind her of our chat about such things.

      I said, Shadow this is NOT a good idea. She ignored me completely; so I went into the Food Room and had a few munchies.

      It wasn't long at all before I heard a Loud Splash!

      Oh dear, I hoped she hadn't scratched Man trying to get out of all that water. Moments later Shadow slipped quietly into the Food Room and started to wash herself.

      Fell into the bath again, did we? I asked.

      Wash, wash, lick, lick.

      I did tell you it wasn't a good idea.

      Lick, lick, wash.

      Well, never mind. Just get yourself tidy then. Maybe Man or Woman will come and dry you.

      I'm fine, thanks, she said, and came to sit next to me. Unbelievably, she was quite dry.

      What happened? I asked. I heard you fall into the bath. You must have got soaked!

      Just my paws and tail, she said. Man helped a bit, too.

      Did you scratch him? I asked.

      Of course she just said: What???

      Very soon Man came out. I rubbed myself up against him. Did she hurt you? I asked him. His lips did that thing when they're pleased and he showed me a very small cut on his back paw.

      Hmm, it seems my sister can fall into a bath full of water and somehow get out again almost dry without shredding the human in the bath. If it had been me I'd have got soaked and Man would have blood all over him.

      I wonder how she does it!

      17

      I've got a bad feeling about today. They're putting lots of stuff in boxes.

      18

      I was right. They stroked our fur, fed us lots of food, talked to us soothingly and then just got into the car and left us! Again! I wish they wouldn't do that.

      We didn't feel like doing anything much except eat and sleep after that, though I sat out the front of the house and stared at the road for a long time. There's no point, my sister told me. You saw how much stuff they took. They'll be gone for days. She sat with me for a while and then went off somewhere. Only Belladonna looked calm and unworried.

      After it got dark, Man With Not Much Fur On His Head came and let himself in and fed us all. Then he sat down on the bed in the TV Room and watched it for a long time. We came and sat with him and he stroked us. I have to say that if our humans HAVE to go away it's very good to have this human in their place. He likes us and we like him and he sleeps here