Ripcord (TCG Edition). David Lindsay-Abaire

you.

       (Marilyn looks disappointed. She works on her sudoku. After a couple beats . . .)

      What do you mean, you put in a special request?

      MARILYN

      I talked to Miss Larusso. I said, is there any way to get some peach cobbler on the menu. And she said, I bet we could arrange that, let me talk to the kitchen.

      ABBY

      You just asked her and she said, no problem.

      MARILYN

      She’s very nice to me.

       (Scotty reenters with their medication.)

      ABBY

      Did you hear that, Scotty? Miss Larusso is very nice to Marilyn.

      SCOTTY

      Well Marilyn is very nice to Miss Larusso. Funny how that works. (Gives Marilyn her pills in a paper cup)

      MARILYN

      (Referring to her cup of pills) Say, Bartender, can you make mine a double?

      SCOTTY

      Oh, I think you’ve had enough, ma’am. I’m afraid I’m gonna have to cut you off.

       (They have a little laugh.)

      MARILYN

      (To Abby) We do that every day.

      ABBY

      Yes, I know.

       (Marilyn swallows her pills down, then hands the cup back to Scotty. He moves over to Abby, and hands her her pills.)

      SCOTTY

      Here you go.

      ABBY

      (To Scotty) Talk to Larusso for me. Please. Just put in the request.

      MARILYN

      What request?

      ABBY

      Chicken and dumplings. If you can ask for cobbler, I can ask for dumplings. (Downs her pills)

      MARILYN

      Did Scotty show you his card? He’s an actor, you know.

      ABBY

      You’re an actor?

      SCOTTY

      Well, not professional.

      ABBY

      (Smiles) No?

      MARILYN

      Give her a card, Scotty.

      ABBY

      Yes, Scotty, give me a card.

      SCOTTY

      Sure. Here ya go. (Gives her a postcard)

      MARILYN

      He was handing them out at lunch. It’s a postcard for the play he’s in.

      SCOTTY

      It’s not a play.

      MARILYN

      Oh, I misunderstood. I thought it was a play.

      ABBY

      (Reading from the card) “Beelzebub’s Den.”

      SCOTTY

      It’s a haunted house.

      MARILYN

      Well that’s even better than a play.

      SCOTTY

      Some friends of mine rent out a warehouse in Pottsville every year, and decorate it, and we get into makeup and costumes. It’s pretty scary.

      ABBY

      Weird thing to invite residents to.

      SCOTTY

      I thought it’d be fun for everyone to see what I do outside of this place.

      ABBY

      Does Miss Larusso know you want to give us all heart attacks?

      SCOTTY

      No one’s gonna have a heart attack.

      ABBY

      It says on the card, “Heart-stopping horror!” Heart. Stopping.

      MARILYN

      I’d like to go.

      ABBY

      Yes, I think that’s a wonderful idea. You should go.

      MARILYN

      I’m gonna!

      SCOTTY

      Excellent! Thanks, Marilyn. That puts me at thirty-nine!

      ABBY

      Thirty-nine what?

      SCOTTY

      Tickets. Me and my buddies need to sell forty each to break even on the cost of that warehouse.

      MARILYN

      Oh, you have to come, Abby. You’d make it forty!

      ABBY

      No, I don’t think so.

      MARILYN

      He needs to sell tickets! And we should support Scotty and his dreams.

      SCOTTY

      It’s not exactly a dream, it’s just—

      MARILYN

      All the nice things he does for everyone around here?

      ABBY

      What nice things?

      MARILYN

      Making our beds, bringing our pills . . .

      ABBY

      That’s his job. He’s not changing your sheets because he’s nice, he’s doing it because that’s what he gets paid to do.

      MARILYN

      It’s a twelve-dollar ticket. Throw the kid a bone.

      ABBY

      I will not.

       (Beat.)

      SCOTTY

      And you wonder why people won’t do you any favors.

      ABBY

      What favors? Larusso?

      SCOTTY

      You want me to talk to her for you, and yet—

      ABBY

      Now wait a minute. Are you saying you’d be more inclined to put in a good word if I went to your spook house?

      SCOTTY

      All I’m saying is, it would’ve been a nice gesture. That’s all.

      ABBY

      I didn’t realize you were a scratch-my-back kinda guy, Scotty.

      SCOTTY

      Well you don’t really know me, do you.

      MARILYN

      You know, I’m happy to talk to Larusso if you really want dumplings so badly.

      ABBY

      No, I want Scotty to do it. He knows the kind I like.

       (Beat.)

      SCOTTY

      I do. And if you’re a little nicer I can try to get them for you.

      ABBY

      Fine. I’ll see the damn show.

      SCOTTY