The Bachelor Party. Ron Hummer

is involved,” Emily answered.

      “We don’t know that,” Amanda said. “Now, I’m not sure I understand what Frank Russo wants from us.”

      “He doesn’t think the police are investigating this very hard,” Elaine said. “He said that we need to make them work harder.”

      “I think they’re doing all they can already,” Amanda said.

      “My brother would never kill anyone,” Elaine said. “There has to be an explanation.”

      “I’m not sure what we can do. The DA is willing to go for a plea bargain.”

      “No,” Emily said. “Michael did not murder Tony Sage.”

      “If you have any ideas,” Amanda said, “Then now is the time.”

      “Maybe we could do something,” Elaine said.

      “What?” Amanda inquired.

      “What if we hire a private detective?”

      “I don’t know. That could make it worse,” Emily said.

      “I agree,” Amanda said.

      “Well, you hired a private detective,” Elaine said. “Remember when your brother was murdered. You hired that guy. What was his name? Jack Roscoe?”

      The color seemed to drain from Amanda’s face, her eyes widened. “Keep your voice down,” Amanda said, nearly jumping out of her chair. She ran over to the door, the sound of her heels clicking as she shut it.

      “What’s wrong?” Elaine asked.

      Amanda shook her head as she walked back to her chair. “Don’t say that name too loud.”

      “Why?” Emily asked.

      “Look, it’s not important.” She dropped back into her chair. “If you really want to hire a private detective, then I have some other names for you.”

      “Why don’t you want us to hire Jack Roscoe?” Elaine asked. “Didn’t he solve your brother’s murder?”

      “Look Elaine,” Amanda said angrily, “Jack Roscoe is a very nasty man. He won’t work for me. He won’t work for you.”

      “Why?” Elaine asked.

      “He doesn’t like lawyers,” Amanda replied.

      “I don’t understand,” Emily said. “He worked for you.”

      “That’s because I threatened to sue him for saying that he doesn’t work for lawyers. I said that that’s discrimination. So he agreed to help me after that.”

      “He sounds like an idiot,” Emily said.

      “Yeah, he is an idiot. He’s a mean, rotten, nasty, obnoxious man. And he is so annoying.”

      “But wasn’t your brother killed by a mobster?” Elaine inquired.

      “That’s what we thought at first. But Jack solved the case. It turned out to be my brother’s girlfriend’s brother. He was a real bastard. He somehow got my brother to agree to blackmail a mobster. Then he killed my brother just to make it look like the mobster killed him.”

      “Jesus,” Emily said.

      “Yeah. This guy who killed my brother. Billy Drummond. That was his name. He beat up a girl. Broker her nose. He also beat up her boyfriend.”

      “That’s so awful,” Elaine said.

      “The only good thing was when Jack found out that Billy Drummond killed my brother. He beat the hell out of Billy, then broke his nose and cheekbone when he slammed a freezer door in Drummond’s face.”

      Emily and Elaine grinned at that.

      “Then he took Drummond into the bathroom and put his face in a toilet bowl.”

      “Oh, that is so disgusting,” Emily said.

      “Sounds like he deserved it,” Elaine said.

      “That’s for sure,” Amanda agreed.

      “And he won’t work for you now?” Emily asked.

      “Nope. He’ll just say that he’s busy. I know he isn’t. I sent three of my colleagues down to see him about handling other cases. He said no to all of them.”

      Emily: “Because he doesn’t like lawyers?”

      “Right. One of the partners went down to see him. Again, Jack refused to help him. So Alex, he’s the partner here, said oh, it must be great that you can turn down people during these times because you have so much work.”

      “What did Jack say?” Elaine asked.

      “He said, are you a John Sanford fan? Alex said no. So Jack says oh, there’s a really good lawyer joke in one of his books. Do you want to hear it? Of course, Alex said no but then Jack says but it’s really funny. You have to hear it. Again, Alex says no but Jack says I know you’ll get a really good laugh so I’ll tell you the joke anyway. Now what is the difference between a lawyer found unconscious on the road and a skunk found unconscious on the road. Alex said I don’t know and Jack says the tire tracks stop after the skunk.”

      Elaine and Emily shook their heads.

      Amanda said, “Anyway, Alex was so mad that he came back to the office and told me that I am not to mention Jack Roscoe’s name in this office. He said he will tell all the lawyers that he knows not to hire him.”

      “Sounds like Jack Roscoe wouldn’t care,” Emily said.

      “In fact, I called him and told him how mad Alex was and that he had no right to act that way.”

      “And what did Jack say?”

      “Thanks for telling me. My office manager and I will have a big celebration. Tell him it’s okay to take ads out in the stupid law journals that he doesn’t like me. I don’t care.

      “Then Jack says to me that maybe you’ll stop calling me as well. After all, you’re getting to be like gum on my shoe. So I said don’t worry, I won’t be calling you anymore you obnoxious bastard.”

      Emily raised her eyebrows. “I guess you hung up.”

      “Yes, and his last words were promises promises promises.”

      “Wow, he really is obnoxious,” Elaine said.

      “Unbelievable,” Emily said. “What do the police think of him?”

      “The police. They love him. Can’t understand why although I met the chief of homicide detectives when my brother was murdered. Jack was there also. He was called in as a witness originally. He said that Jack is a great detective and he put a lot of mobsters away even though he is a jerk.”

      Emily and Elaine shook their heads.

      “Now you know,” Amanda said. “Look, I have other names...”

      “I think we’ll talk to Jack Roscoe first,” Emily said.

      Amanda’s jaw dropped open. “You’re kidding, right?”

      “No,” Emily said angrily. “That rotten bastard Frank Russo had our son beaten up in prison. I’m not going to let him get away with it.”

      “I agree, Mom,” Elaine said. I think we should hire him. Is he far from here?”

      “Far from here. He spends a lot of time in Willie’s Tavern shooting pool and drinking beer. No. Actually he likes Jack and Coke’s because the name is the same as his first name.”

      “Let me go there and talk to him Mom,” Elaine suggested.

      “We’ll double his fee if we have to,” Emily added.

      “Emily,” Amanda said, “He doesn’t care about the