Talk Turkey to Me. Renee S. Ferguson

the turkey body and make it look more ugly?”

      “My buddy puts garlic under the skin, but I don’t want to put my hand in there!”

      “What about apples, oranges, and an onion in the cavity or sprinkled around the outside?”

      “I use mayonnaise instead of oil.”

      Some people use a dry rub, while others marinate the turkey using their favorite seasonings. The variations are countless. There may be as many recipes as there are cooks, and they can range from simple to complex. Some people feel that if they don’t shake something onto the turkey they are just aren’t cooking it at all!

      Permission granted. If you want to season the turkey with salt and pepper before roasting, go ahead, but know that any seasoning that you sprinkle on top of the bird or place in the cavity will not affect the flavor of the turkey and may affect the flavor of the gravy. Your only essential ingredient is oil. Everything else is superfluous.

      Anatomy 101

      “I need some confirmation. I thought when I got a whole turkey it would be all white meat. There’s dark meat on this one.”

      Approximately 70 percent of a whole turkey is white meat. The remaining 30 percent is dark meat. If you want only white meat, purchase a breast.

      “I bought a turkey and the directions said to put it breast-side-up. Where’s the breast and which side is up?”

      The breast is the big bump that faces up when the turkey is placed flat on its back. If you were to place the turkey breast-side down, it would be a rock’n and roll’n bird.

      “My husband is in the navy. He says a hen’s breast is bigger than a tom’s. Does a hen have a bigger breast?”

      It’s not like human anatomy. Your husband’s been in the navy too long!

      “That hook, the bony, butt part—do I take it off?”

      Not if you belong to this family:

      “That part that goes over the fence last is the piece of the turkey the men in our family all fight over. Each year we have to draw straws to see who gets the honor of eating it. It started when I was a kid and each year we’d argue about it because Dad always got it since he was the dad. Now that he’s gone, my brothers and I figured out a fair way to win the pièce de résistance.”

      That pièce de résistance, by the way, is the turkey’s tail.

      Giblets

      In one cavity of the turkey when you purchase it is a bag containing the heart, liver, and gizzard. This trio is what are called the giblets. In the other cavity you’ll find the neck. All or part of the giblets and neck may be used to make a broth and then stored for use in any of your favorite recipes that call for broth.

      “You mean I have to put my hand in there? Look, I’m straight . . . I just don’t want to run into anything I shouldn’t!”

      The giblets are the heart, liver, and gizzard of the turkey. The heart is triangular in shape and reddish brown in color. The liver is flatter and is also reddish brown, with a slippery feel. The gizzard has a bluish coloration.

      To some people, this ménage à trois is a staple of life that, once cooked, finds its way into recipes for stuffing, gravy, or soup. To others, it’s a nuisance bag that gets thrown away or fed to the cat. This is an emotional topic for those who view the giblets as the key to a successful holiday feast.

      “The jury’s still out and trouble’s brewing! How many bags are in the turkey?”

      You should find two, one in the neck cavity and one in the body cavity. That’s all!

      Traditional Giblet Broth

      Simmer the neck, heart, and gizzard in 3 cups of salted water for 2 hours. Add the liver and simmer for another 20 to 30 minutes. For extra flavor, you may add the following to the neck, heart, and gizzard: 1 small onion (chopped), 1 stalk of celery (chopped), 1 bay leaf, and ½ teaspoon of dried thyme. When the cooking is complete, strain the stock and discard the vegetables.

      The cooked meat may be chopped and used in stuffing, gravy, or particular recipes. The broth may also be used as a liquid in stuffing, soup, or wherever needed.

      “I just took Mr. Turkey out of the refrigerator and there aren’t any goblets—I mean giblets—in him.”

      Don’t get your giblets in a knot if your turkey is without them. Even purists find that in a pinch a broth made from chicken parts—legs, thighs, and wings—will substitute for the missing goblets—er, I mean giblets!

      Is it a he or a she?

      The world is made up of tom turkeys and hens—along with those cross-dressers that are labeled simply “turkey.” Generally, a tom weighs in at 16 pounds or more. Toms are male turkeys. A hen typically weighs less than 16 pounds. Hens are female turkeys.

      One caller was surprised that, year after year, no matter what the weight of the turkey, she always wound up getting a male. When I asked her how she knew this, she replied, “Well, I always look inside and pull out that little bag of personal parts, and, sure enough, every year it’s a tom!” Apparently the caller mistook the neck for another part of the male anatomy . . . I can only visualize that turkey strutting around the barnyard!

      “I have the weight of the world on me today. My day is ruined. There are no giblets inside the turkey!”

      Courier