Talk Turkey to Me. Renee S. Ferguson

bird on a bathroom scale in order to determine how many days it will need to thaw in the refrigerator (according to the guide at the right).

      Follow the convenient guide below to thaw your turkey safely in the refrigerator. (The day you place it in the refrigerator doesn’t count. For example, if you plan to cook your turkey on Sunday and it has to thaw for 2 to 3 days, start thawing it on Wednesday or Thursday.) Be sure to place a tray underneath the turkey to collect any juices that seep through the wrapping.

      Quick-Thaw McDraw: Cold Water

      “I’ve never been a successful turkey person and I have to thaw my turkey in the bathtub. The turkey is floating in my tub now. I have a scuba belt that I could harness onto it to hold it down under water if that would help.”

      Here’s a quick-thaw method. Partially fill the sink with cold water. Place the turkey breast-side-down in the water so that it’s like an iceberg, with the largest part submerged. The turkey itself will float, so don’t worry—it need not be fully submerged. The U.S. Department of Agriculture recommends that you change the water every 30 minutes. The thawing time is easy to calculate: just divide the weight by two, and that’s the number of hours needed to thaw the turkey in cold water.

      “Talking to you is like talking to my therapist. I know I’ll feel better afterward—and, better still, you won’t send me a bill! But I still feel insecure about knowing if my turkey is thawed.”

      “I’m not sure if I’m going to make the list of Top 10 Boo-Boos, but my turkey is not entirely thawed. It’s been in the refrigerator for 4 days and it’s still not thawed.”

      If, when you remove the wrapper, you find that the turkey has not thawed completely, you could run cold water through the cavity to melt any ice crystals that may have formed, or you could just begin to cook the turkey. If you do begin to cook it, the turkey should not be stuffed, and it will take longer to cook than usual. Either way, when cooking the turkey be sure to use a meat thermometer in order to determine when the correct end temperature is reached.

      Cold-Water Quick-Thaw Guide

      •Leave the wrapper on the turkey.

      •Divide the weight by two to determine the number of hours needed to thaw it in cold water.

      •Change the water every 30 minutes.

      •Place the turkey breast-side-down in the water. The turkey will float!

      •Sanitize the sink when finished.

      A young man called to ask, “Can I thaw this thing in an electric blanket?”

      The day before Thanksgiving, a wonderful middle-aged woman called and emphatically stated, “I know how to cook and you’re not dealing with an idiot, but I have an 18-pound turkey—when do I start to thaw it?”

      Running short on time? Electric blankets are not recommended. It’s best to thaw your turkey in cold water . . . even if you’re not an idiot!

      Other factors that can affect thawing time

      •glass shelves in the refrigerator: these restrict the flow of air, which is needed to thaw the turkey

      •the temperature setting of your refrigerator

      •the amount of use the refrigerator

      •gets: if you have a house full of kids constantly opening and closing the refrigerator door, the rate of thawing will be sped up; conversely, if the turkey is placed in an extra fridge that you rarely use, there will be no warm air admitted from outside and thawing will take longer

      “My grocer said it would only take 3 days to thaw this 20-pound turkey. Is that right?”

      Check the thawing guide. Whom are you going to trust, someone who’s thawed scores of turkeys or a person who’s probably never cooked a turkey in his life? A solid block of frozen meat takes a long time to thaw. Give yourself extra time to make certain the process is complete.

      Some common-sense rules

      •Do not thaw at room temperature, as this will cause bacterial growth to increase on the surface of the turkey before the inside is fully thawed.

      •Allow ample time for the turkey to thaw in the refrigerator; use the thawing guide.

      Urban legend?

      Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead turkeys at the windshields of airliners, military jets, and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidence of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

      British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements were made. When the gun was fired, however, the engineers stood in shock as the turkey hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashing it to smithereens, crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer’s backrest in two, and became embedded in the back wall of the cab.

      The horrified Britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the design of the windshield, and begged the American scientists for suggestions.

      NASA’s response was just one sentence: “Thaw the bird.”

      Source: Numerous Web sites.

      •Keep the turkey in its original wrapper to prevent drying of the skin and to reduce the risk of cross-contamination.

      •It makes no sense to thaw a turkey in the microwave (even though this method of thawing is approved by the U.S. Department of Agriculture). The configuration of a turkey, with large, thick areas and smaller, thin areas, leads to uneven thawing. Parts of the bird will begin to cook before other parts are thawed. This is not the best option.

      •Once the turkey is thawed, use it within 4 days.

      One week before the big day, a procrastinator tried to mend the error of her ways only to run into trouble.

      “I’m a procrastinator, but this year I sat up all night and thawed the turkey in cold water and changed it every 30 minutes. Now I’m afraid it’s thawed too soon. Do I have to cook it now, or can I keep it refrigerated until the party? If I have to cook it now, it’ll be like a James Bond movie and we’ll have Turkey Galore!”

      Once your turkey is thawed you should use it within 4 days. Again, be sure to