Buddha Da. Anne Donovan

      ‘So are you sayin you couldnae ever fancy anybody fae Embra? Ah know whit you mean. Actually ah think she’s a dyke.’

      ‘Really?’

      ‘Ah don’t know, mibbe… who cares? Anyway the point is, Liz hasnae met her. For all she knows Barbara could be this gorgeous sexy wumman wi her eye on you and yous could of been up tae all sorts wi a six-incher and a sheepskin roller. Look at it fae her point of view – you’re comin hame at nine a’clock at night efter spendin a whole day alone wi this wumman. Suppose she was workin late every night wi some guy? If it was the other way roond, would you no be a bit jealous?’

      ‘Ah know whit you’re sayin, but ah just don’t feel that way. Ah trust Liz.’

      ‘Ah trust Tricia but ah still wouldnae want her tae be daein the late shift wi thon new doctor at the practice.’

      ‘The wan that looks like thon guy oot ER, the foreign wan?’

      ‘Aye. Look, all ah’m sayin, is, why don’t you just make sure you spend a bit mair time on yer ain wi Liz? Take her oot for a nice meal, go tae the movies. Buy her some flowers.’

      ‘Then she’ll definitely think ah’m up tae sumpn.’

      ‘Naw, she’ll no. Anyway, the job in Embra’s finished. You’ll no be seein Barbara again.’

      ‘Ah said we’d dae her wee back room later, mibbe efter Christmas.’

      ‘Well, we can make sure that we baith go through. Surely Liz’ll no think we’re havin a threesome.’

      Ah’m watchin Liz on the dance flair and she’s lookin fantastic. She’s up wi Alex, ma brother-in-law, a baw-faced guy who leaps around the flair wi nae sense of rhythm but loadsa enthusiasm. He got her up for ‘Brown Sugar’ and even when ah was young that song was ancient. Liz is a brilliant dancer, but – she’s tall and slim and the night she’s wearin a kinda lacy skirt and a crop top that shows a bit of her belly when she’s dancin. Her hair’s usually quite smooth, doon tae her shoulders but the night she’s messed it up and put loads a make-up and glitter on her cheeks. She said she was daein a kinda early Madonna look, black lacy gloves and net skirts, and it reminds me a bit of how she looked when we first went oot thegether. Ah’d went round tae Paul’s hoose for the first time. We were still tryin tae be punk rockers though it was 1981 by this time, and we were just sittin in the livin room when Liz came in wi her pal, all dressed up tae go oot, dead pale make-up and loads a black eyeliner, dressed in a ruffled shirt wi big shouders, tight black troosers and they wee ankle boots ah always liked. She looked a lot aulder than fourteen then, dead sophisticated. Ah used tae get slagged stupit when ma mates fund oot she was only fourteen, but she seemed aulder, was always mair mature. Then, as ma da said, it didnae take a lot tae be mair mature than me. S’funny, ah think she’s got younger lookin as the years have passed.

      Ah’d decided tae re-create ma punk look for the party though ah didnae have the gear noo and ah don’t think it’d fit me any mair anyway. No that ah’m fat or that. Ah mean oor John’s put on the beef big style since he turned thirty. Tricia’s a nurse and she’s aye on at him tae loss some case he takes a hert attack. Ah’ve been quite lucky that way – seem tae just burn it all up – but ah’m no a skinny teenager any mair.

      Anyway, ah got an auld black perra breeks and a tee shirt and ah ripped it up a bit wi a razor blade and stuck a few safety pins roond. Ah bought chains oot a B&Q and hung them roond ma neck. While ah was puttin gel on ma hair and makin it aw spiky, Anne Marie sat and watched me.

      ‘Da, did you really used tae look like this when you were young?’

      ‘Aye, sort of, hen. Except ah used tae dye ma hair as well – ah’d purple bits in it at wan time.’

      ‘But, ah mean, did you actually go oot like that?’

      ‘Of course, that’s the whole point – nae use sittin round the hoose where naebdy can see you, is there?’

      ‘You look mental.’

      ‘That’s the idea – ah mean if you’re a punk you’re supposed tae look mental.’

      Ah started jumpin around the room.

      ‘I am an antichrist – I am an anarchist …’

      ‘Gies a break, Da – hope you’re no gonnae dae that the night. Some of ma mates’ll be there.’

      Tricia tellt Anne Marie tae bring along a coupla pals so’s she widnae be on her ain. All the other girls in the faimly are either a bit aulder or a good bit younger than her.

      ‘Mibbe ah’ll ask them tae dance, then.’

      ‘Puh … leeze … Ah’m away tae get ready.’

      Ah turnt tae Liz. ‘Would ye listen tae her? Sounds like sumpn oota Friends …’

      ‘Aye, she’s growin up.’

      ‘Last year she was still just a wee lassie, intae Barbie and that.’

      ‘No quite last year, Jimmy …’

      ‘Two year ago she still believed in Santa.’

      ‘Naw ah didnae,’ Anne Marie’s voice came fae the lobby. ‘Ah just kidded on so’s you wouldnae be disappointed.’

      ‘You’re no supposed tae be listenin tae this. Yer mammy and me were havin a private conversation.’

      ‘Well you shouldnae be bawlin it oot, should you?’

      Anne Marie appeared at the door. For a minute ah hardly recognised her; she was wearin a slinky wee frock and black tights and silvery shoes wi big platforms.

      ‘Hen, you look gorgeous. Right, Cinderella, ready for your carriage?’

      At first ah’d no been too sure aboot this idea of John’s tae have fancy dress for his fortieth. Ah’ve been tae a coupla fancy dress parties but they were never up tae much. No everybuddy dressed up and the wans that did were always a bit hauf-hearted aboot it. You know, cairry a brush and stick on a witch’s hat, or wear a dinner suit and kid on you were Bryan Ferry even if you’re baldy and three feet tall. That kind of thing. But whether it was because Tricia’d been round twistin folk’s airms or whether they just wanted tae dae it for John ah don’t know but ah’ve never seen anythin like the ootfits that walked through the door.

      Everybuddy’d really made an effort. Wan wumman had done a Carmen Miranda and had made hersel a headdress wi real fruit. She could hardly walk it was that heavy. Another guy had hired a bear suit. Ah still don’t know who he was as he refused tae even take the heid aff all night – he must of been roasted. Angie and Paul came as Barbie and Ken – and there was Dracula, Little Red Riding Hood and God knows whit all. It really broke the ice; everybuddy was up and dancin right away, no sittin roond hauf the night, and folk were mixin really well. John had hired the function room at the back of the Hielander and ah think he and Tricia just invited everybuddy either of them knew – neighbours, auld pals fae where they used tae stay, folk they’d been at school wi, a hale team fae Tricia’s work, no tae mention the faimly. Even oor ma came alang for a coupla hours though John got her a taxi booked for ten o’clock. She’s just no up tae it any mair since ma daddy’s passed on. Anyway, the place was jumpin.