Embracing Life After Loss. Allen Klein

To Laugh Again

       Let It Begin With You

       Start With a Smile

       Healing Humor

       Tension Release

       Humor and Survival

       The Power of Humor

       The Power to Rise Above

       Softening the Blow

       Finding Happiness Again

       Uplifting Words

       Positive Self-Talk

       All That Is Left

       Anesthesia for the Heart

       God-Given Laughter

       Just Laugh

       Humor and Hope

       Additional Thoughts on Laughing

       Time for Some Laughs?

       Closing Diary

       Moving On

       Suggested Reading

       About the Author

      Foreword

      Through our Open to Hope Foundation, with the mission of helping people find hope after loss, we have interviewed thousands of bereaved people and read hundreds of grief and recovery books. We have found Allen Klein’s understanding of the grieving process, and his focus on humor as a healing tool, to be a great addition to the recovery literature.

      In this heartwarming book, Embracing Life After Loss, Allen gently walks us through the journey of grief, loss, and recovery. He gives us great and much needed advice but also inspires us through quotes and personal experiences. And he doesn’t miss a beat as he covers the major issues facing the bereaved, including self-forgiveness.

      Allen guides us through five stages of going from loss to laughter…losing, learning, letting go, living, and finally, laughing. I know that laughter was a healing part of my grieving process after the death of our beloved son Scott, at age seventeen. Allen’s promptings have inspired me to tell a funny story about my son prior to his death.

      My daughter Heidi was off to her freshman year of college. Her brother Scott was a junior in high school. Heidi asked if she could take a small portable television to college with her. As it happened, the television set was residing in Scott’s room. We agreed that she could take the television set, but when it was time for her to leave she found the set handcuffed to Scott’s bed and Scott nowhere to be found. Needless to say, the television set never left the house.

      No doubt Allen’s writing will lift your spirit and inspire you to remember and share heartwarming and funny stories of those you have loved and lost. Thank you, Allen, for sharing your life, love, and humor with the world. You’re a one-of-a-kind treasure.

      Gloria Horsley, MFC, CNS, PhD

      President and cofounder of Open to Hope

      Dear Reader

      While this book comes out of the lessons I’ve learned about loss from the death of my wife, the thoughts within address all kinds of loss. The feelings that often accompany the loss of a loved one also apply to such things as losing a pet, getting a divorce, being let go from a job, or any other major setback in your life. Any loss can be overwhelming. The aim of this book is to help you realize that loss is part of life, that it can be one of our greatest teachers, and that, in spite of your loss, you can once again fully partake in what life has to offer.

      After my wife died at the age of thirty-four, I was devastated. I went for counseling to deal with my grief. After three sessions, the therapist told me that life is difficult. I fired him. I walked out of his office. I didn’t need to hear that. I was living it.

      I also sought out books about grief. I thought that they would help me understand my loss. Most of them did not. They were huge tomes, more than I could handle at the time. Most of them told me how horrible I might feel after losing a loved one. That I might not have my appetite, not sleep well, and/or be depressed.

      That advice did not help me deal with my grief. I needed something that was easy to read. Something that provided encouragement. Something I could turn to on a daily basis for inspiration and uplifting thoughts. Something that spoke to my heart, not my head. Finding none of that in most grief books, I wrote my own. It is the book you are either holding in your hand or reading in a digital format.

      My intention for the book is that it will provide comforting, heartfelt thoughts and a lighter tone not found in other books on loss. I also hope that it will show you that there can be a positive side to loss and help you understand that, although your loss is a life-changing experience, it need not necessarily be a negative one. And that, because of life’s brevity, a loss can be a powerful wake-up call to celebrate life.

      Please note that I am not advocating avoiding the grief caused by loss or rushing through it. Unexpressed grief can come back again with a stronger force. It is important to fully deal with the grieving process after a loss. However, my goal in writing this book is to help you go beyond your loss to embracing life fully again and, yes, even laughing again. And to help you go from merely surviving to thriving. Also, I hope that it will uplift your spirit, touch your heart, and nourish your soul.

      P.S.: The advice in this book is what worked for me during my time of loss. Some of it may seem right for you, some of it may not. As with any information, take what fits and leave the rest behind.

      Opening Diary

      Sunday, June 24

      I have no sisters. I do, however, have a cousin who has been like a sister to me. We grew up together, shared many a happy moment at a Broadway show, and enjoyed numerous fun-filled meals together. And even though she lived on the East Coast and I on the West, we were very close.

      Three days ago, I found out that she has leukemia. And, at her age of seventy-eight, the doctor doesn’t think the prognosis is very good.

      I am very upset. I have not only felt like crying in the past few days but have actually done so several times. And while I haven’t consciously tried to find some humor in the situation (I am still