The Ikigai Journey. Francesc Miralles

or “Beautiful.”

      You will learn nothing from this kind of reply. But if you ask a specific question: “Which of the exhibit’s twenty photos do you find the most bland and soulless?” you will get more precise answers and will know what to improve for the next time, especially if you ask why and listen to the answer carefully.

      If you get the feeling they can help you with their feedback, probe for details: “Why do you think it’s bland?”

      Getting good feedback allows us to make much faster progress developing our passion, our ikigai. In the absence of feedback, we run the risk of ending up lost in a sea of possibilities with our compass changing course every morning.

      “Here is a golden rule of ethics: think for a moment whether you prefer to receive undeserved praise or receive no praise at all even though you deserve it.”

      NASSIM NICHOLAS TALEB

      Here are a few keys to getting the kind of feedback that will help you improve your life and get closer to your goals:

      • Ask for it from people you admire and who know more about the subject than you do.

      • Ignore criticism from people you don’t know and who know less about the subject than you do.

      • Make the other person feel honored to give you feedback. Give credence to those who help you.

      • In order to get specific feedback on a job or project, you can ask these three questions:

      a. Can you tell me what you like the least? I won’t be offended.

      b. What do you like the most?

      c. And why do you like it?

      If they don’t tell you exactly why, then forget it because it is not useful feedback.

       The SKS approach: Stop, Keep doing, Start

      According to Professor Phil Daniels of Brigham Young University, the three following questions are excellent ways of asking others for feedback.

      The objective of these questions invite a fearless, honest response. The first one is very subtle because you are asking indirectly rather than directly what it is you are doing wrong:

      1. What should I STOP doing?

      ____________________________________________

      2. What should I KEEP doing?

      ____________________________________________

      3. What should I START doing?

      ____________________________________________

      The information you will get from these three questions will help you to speed up the pace of improvement in all areas of your life: work, personal relationships, hobbies, arts, business, etc. The shortest route to self-progress is to pay attention to negative feedback.