The Wherewithal of Life. Michael Jackson

part and parcel of growing up—being caned and being punished for what you have done. So my mum did not punish me—she just asked me, ‘So when do you want me to go?’ That almost killed me. It was something I did not expect from her. She just told me, ‘Okay, they want to see me tomorrow? Now go home, go eat, something is there for you to cook. Then bathe and prepare for tomorrow. I will be coming later in the evening.’ She gave me transport money to get from town to where we stayed. I went home, but I can tell you, I was unsettled. I was home, I bathed, I cut my nails, I made sure I didn’t give her an excuse to punish me for anything but being suspended from school for a month. I was waiting for my mum, but by the time she came home in the evening I was sweating, I was panicking, everything I touched was falling, and she comes back home and says, ‘So have you eaten?’ I said, ‘Yeah, I had lunch.’ Then she asks the girl who used to help us cook. ‘What are we having for supper?’ Then she says, ‘Emma, come, we’ll go and buy sauce.’ To tell you the truth, I thought Mum was planning to bury me alive. I don’t know [Emmanuel laughed], it was so unlike her. So we went to the butcher, came back, prepared the sauce, and ate. In the morning we woke, prepared, and went to the bus stop and on to school with all my things. She went to the office and talked. When she came out, she gave me some pocket money, two hundred shillings. Most of my friends spent two hundred shillings in a day, but that two hundred shillings was supposed to last me for half a term. You see [Emmanuel laughed again], it was a bit tricky to survive on that. So she gave me money and then said, ‘Okay, I hope you don’t get suspended again!’ Then she left.”

      “Seems like your mother had a sense of humor too!”

      “Yes.”

      “Could your stepfather have helped out in any way, when you got into that jam?”

      “He could and he did. He was probably the one who told my mum, when they got the letter. My father has always raised us from a teacher’s view on child development. He’s always been like that with us. At home, my father has been like an angel. And this is strange, to have a stepfather who basically does not behave like a stepfather. I grew up in situations where my friends had stepfathers who punished them on a daily basis, but with us, no, it was our mum who punished us, not our father, though he had the authority to do so. At school, he also had the authority to cane us, and he used to cane us when we failed or did something wrong, but if we got caught doing something wrong somewhere else, he would not let anyone else cane us. He’d say, ‘You call me. I don’t want anyone to touch my kids.’ So he was the only one to cane us, and immediately he was finished, he’d say, ‘Go to class,’ and then he’d come after maybe an hour and say, ‘Emma, come,’ and also my brother if he was there, and he’d take us to a stall where they sell bananas, ripe yellow bananas, mangoes, and, oh, it was heavenly to be bought a full cluster of yellow bananas—it was like being a king, you know. So he buys us each a cluster of bananas and says, ‘Eat, you have to eat before you go back to class.’ Then we would sit and eat. In the evening, when we got home, the first thing he would tell our mum was the punishment he gave us. He had this policy, he never wanted to punish us and mum knew this. So he would come home and say, “Uh, by the way, Jen, Emma and Deo did this and this today, but I punished them and everything is okay.’ My mum knew of it. At home the coolant was our father. Whenever our mum was burning up, he would say, ‘No, no, Jen, take it slow, there could be a reason why he did this, can we ask him why he did this?’ And then they’d ask us, and we would explain. My father would say, ‘You see, Jen, even if he’s lying, at least he has an explanation for it.’ So that’s how they raised us. Even though they are no longer together, my stepfather and my mum, he is the closest thing I’ve had to a father, and he is the closest adult friend I have had. So I usually go to him, and we talk, we argue, we discuss. Our behaviors are mostly copied from him, because he has never drunk, he has never smoked, he was always a hundred percent sober at home. If he punished you, it was because he was sober and able to understand your problem, not because he wanted to vent his anger or frustration on you. That was only at school. Never at home. He would always ask you to explain why you were doing wrong. And my father could convince my mum not to react immediately. He would always talk to her.”

      By the time Emmanuel left secondary school, he was at the top of his class. “I did nothing but study,” he said. “I didn’t care what anybody else was saying, I didn’t care about food, I didn’t care about anything, I just read books.”

      “You stopped being the joker?”

      

      “I’m telling you, I stopped totally making fun. People began to be afraid for me. They said, ‘Eh, Emma, what’s wrong?’ I said, ‘Be quiet, I’m reading. There were four streams, and I was the best student in stream three.”

      “What drove you to work so hard at academic success?”

      “What pushed me is the way my mum reacted. My mum never abused me, never pushed me. Instead, she was very positive.”

      “So you felt you owed her a positive result at school?”

      “Exactly, a good report card. And when I brought it home, my mum was so happy she bought me my first pair of shoes, yeah. By the way, Michael, I didn’t tell you, but that was the first time I put on a pair of shoes.”

      “You wore sandals until then?”

      “Yeah, plastic ones, like these.” Emmanuel got up from the table, went to the front door, and returned with a pair of cheap plastic shoes. “See, they were made like this. Open here, on the sides. But I can tell you one thing, believe me when I say that you would rather put your feet in the fire than wear these plastic shoes in Uganda. We had to wear them from seven o’clock in the morning up to six in the evening. The problem was, at six you were supposed to remove those shoes and go to sleep, but you couldn’t remove them in the dormitory—you had to go and sit outside because the smell was worse than a dead cat. You literally got rotten feet in a day, and when I say rotten, we Africans are good at handling awful smells, but this you couldn’t stomach—your feet stank like a dead cat, so bad that you had to sit out there for two or three hours.”

      “And the other kids? They had leather shoes?”

      “Yes, they had good shoes. Some of them had normal sandals like the ones I’m wearing now, but me, I was in those ones. They were plastic and too small for my feet. So my feet really got burned. The signs disappeared as I grew older, but my heels used to be white and my toes . . . here, some of the scars are still here . . . after twenty years. Yeah, my feet were totally burned. And whenever you remove them at night, the smell comes off them and you have to take them outside, then put your feet inside your blanket because of the smell. I used my sheet and blanket to cover my feet. The top part of me had no cover. And then I had only one pair of socks. That is, until my mum bought me a pair of shoes from Bata—”

      “I remember Bata shoes from Freetown—”

      “Shoes from Bata were not real leather, but at least they were better than those plastics. They were made by a company, a foreign company that came in from Europe, I think. So these guys from Europe were making these shoes, and we bought them because they were cheap and well shaped, but I don’t think our parents knew how bad these things were. My feet almost got deformed, because even though your feet were paining you, and you are dying in your heart and your brain is burning, in the compound you had to pretend to walk normally. So when I got my shoes, I was very happy, and I finished senior three and went on to senior four. Then, three months into the second term, I messed up again. I left school without permission to escort a friend who was leaving for America. I didn’t know we were supposed to get permission. We got caught up in the emotions of Teba Henry going to America. Anyway, we got caught off the school premises, and I was expelled for a term. I went straight home. I thought they had expelled me for a reason that was so flimsy. I thought they would be more kind and understanding, with our friend leaving us in the middle of the term to go to America. So I went home, knowing my mum would understand, which she did. I did most of my schooling at home, then, right up to my O-levels at the end of senior four.

      “Next year, my mum took me to a new school. Maybe she was angry with me or had given up on me, but she took me to a school where no one in his right mind