Management Mess to Leadership Success. Scott Jeffrey Miller

and what the reality turned out to be. And for some reason, this particular challenge is one I keep reliving, because I’m not quite figuring it out. To quote a colleague of mine, “I fully understand the principle; I just have yet to adopt it into my life.”

      Given the caliber of advice I’ve been getting over the years, you’d think I’d have this challenge figured out. Even back in 2007, when I was assuming a new role at FranklinCovey, a peer told me: “Scott, underpromise and overdeliver.”

      And like most prescient counsel, her words haunt me to this day.

      At the time, I discounted what this colleague had told me because I thought it betrayed something other than a “do whatever it takes” work ethic. (In retrospect, it didn’t.) But I remember the spirit of her counsel: Don’t take on too much, Scott, and perpetuate your brand of delivering on some projects and not on others. Simply do what you say you’re going to do, and do it with extraordinary impact. This aligns with the adage we hear increasingly in our overcommitted lives: More is not better—better is better.

      I'm perpetually overcommitted and can't possibly deliver on everything at the level of excellence I want. How about you?

      I have a habit of ascribing too much value to activity and not enough to discerning what should be done with the highest quality. Not that my work is sloppy—on the contrary, I would maintain that my deliverables are exceptional. But only the ones I actually deliver on. And now even that may be at risk. My career portfolio has its share of projects I committed to (and hopefully, most people have forgotten about) that never reached liftoff. I actually don’t have a problem saying no. I say no all day long. But I love yes more, particularly with projects that allow me to think big in terms of vision, impact, and uniqueness. Plus, the little voice in the back of my head argues that even if I disappoint 30 percent of the people by not delivering, the remaining 70 percent will think I’m a rock star.

      Contrast this with Stephen M. R. Covey, one of the leading global authorities on trust. Stephen is in demand: his famed book The Speed of Trust has sold over two million copies. While he’s keynoting multiple times weekly and it’s not unusual for him to be in four countries in four days, he’s also very cautious about making commitments. Unlike me, he means everything he says. When he says no, he means it. And when he says yes, he means it. He starts and finishes. If I’m 7 for 10, Stephen’s 7 for 7!

      Recently I approached Stephen about increasing his global profile, and suggested we meet to brainstorm how to have him accelerate his authorship for some major business publications. He initially said, “No, thank you.” With courtesy and respect, which is his style, he explained that his low profile as a columnist or contributor wasn’t from a lack of opportunity—he’d been approached by numerous publications about writing columns or articles and had declined most of them. He was simply unwilling to place himself in a situation where he might disappoint someone by missing a deadline or not delivering.

      If you’ve seen Stephen speak at a conference or your own company event, you know one of his hallmarks, beyond his indisputable credibility, is his thoughtful preparation. He is maniacal about researching a client and customizing his content to their cultural and market issues, and listening to their needs to ensure his time with them is impactful. In fact, he declines nearly as many speaking opportunities as he accepts, as further engagements might reduce his prep time for those already committed to. He literally leaves money on the table daily to ensure those he’s already agreed to work with receive his best. It’s rare to see companies or individuals say no to business if it comes at the expense of delivering their best to previous commitments. How many of us have done the opposite and said yes, compromising not only our current commitments, but also the ones we just took on?

      To quote Roger Merrill, Dr. Covey’s coauthor on the book First Things First: “When you make a commitment, you build hope; when you keep it, you build trust.” Everyone’s bandwidth is different in terms of their capacity to take on and execute their commitments with excellence. If you find yourself in the mess of overcommitting and underdelivering, consider exercising uncharacteristic restraint the next time you’re approached by a colleague, friend, or family member. They may be unwittingly attempting to move you past your breaking point. Our capacity to do is always more than our capacity to do with excellence. No reasonable person can resist a response like:

      “I truly would love to be a part of that, but I’m so cognizant of not wanting to disappoint you and others I’ve already committed to that I’ll have to decline. If something changes with my current level of commitments, I’ll surely reach out to you. Thank you so much for your trust in me.”

      I actually don't have a problem saying no. I say no all day long. But I love yes more, Particularly with projects that allow me to think big in terms of vision, impact, and uniqueness.

      If this is hard to do in the moment, keep in mind a shorthand version: “Let me get back to you on that.” This simple phrase gives you space between the request and the response—time to consider your commitments and availability. If you have to come back and decline, crafting a nicely worded response can be seen as even more thoughtful than if you had dismissed the request out of hand from the beginning. You also pay a price when it comes to your personal brand and reputation (which are merely the collection of all the decisions and commitments you make, keep, or break in life). This is such an important topic, that I address it in the second Mess to Success book: Marketing Mess to Brand Success—30 Challenges to Transform Your Organization’s Brand (and Your Own).

      Remember that fundraising initiative I listed as one of my commitments? There’s good news and bad news. The good news is, I’m finished. The bad news is, they’re not!

      I’ll end this challenge here. I love yes. But I need to love no much more. Remember, 7 for 7 is way better than 7 for 10. The difference is in the second number in the ratio, not the first (and that’s the whole point).

      From Mess To Success:

      Make And Keep Commitments

      •Choose a project or relationship that needs your attention.

      1.Identify an unfulfilled commitment in this area.

      2.How can you realistically follow through with it?

      3.Acknowledge to the person your awareness of having not (yet) met your commitment, and recalibrate expectations on whether and when you will.

      •Exercise integrity in your next “moment of choice” by being willing to politely say no.

      •Inventory your current commitments. Realistically determine whether you need to unwind some of them. Your greatest gift may be to back out before you fail them and further violate expectations.

      •Make sure your commitments are balanced—work, play, family, health, growth, outreach, etc.

Challenge 6

Carry Your Own Weather

      How would your team describe your leadership style when things are stormy? when things are calm?

      In the 1980s, Stone Kyambadde was a semipro football (known as soccer in the U.S.) player on the cusp of ascending to the Ugandan National Football League. During a match, an opponent intentionally injured Stone’s knee, ending his football career in a split second. Stone was forced to re-create his life, his legacy, and his future. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, Stone channeled his passion for football into coaching and developing a local team for at-risk youth in Kampala, Uganda. Through the sport, Stone mentored young men to become responsible, proactive adults in the midst of poverty and violence. Thirty years later, the team is thriving, and Stone shares his positive message of hope and endurance around the world.

      Stone appears in a video highlighted in FranklinCovey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People® work session as a model of a “Transition Person”—someone instrumental