and I Believe. Jodie Richard-Bohman

not a husband.”

      Her words hurt and I became silent.

      “Kate, I’m not trying to hurt your feelings. What he did was awful and it will take me a long time to forgive him, but I’m just trying to be honest with you.”

      “Maybe you’re right,” I finally admitted to her, and even to myself for that matter. “My feelings for him have changed, but I thought that was normal with people who have been together as long as we have.”

      “It’s not and a good example of that would be your own parents.”

      I never thought of it like that before, and there was a lot of truth to what she just said. My parents have been together for almost forty years, and Dad’s eyes still light up when Mom enters the room.

      “You’re right. So . . .” I started to ask. There was one question that had been weighing on my mind this entire time. “Is he still seeing her?”

      “Not that I’m aware of.”

      I let out a sigh of relief.

      “He told me he’s avoiding all contact with her because he needs time to clear his head. Plus, from what I’ve heard, she’s in hiding. I think some people in town made some pretty mean comments to her for what she did to you and nobody has seen much of her since.”

      Now that, I will admit, gave me some gratification.

      “I haven’t seen her in probably a year or two. Is she still skinny and pretty?”

      I was surprised that question even left my mouth. I have never been a jealous or insecure person, but how could I not be curious about the girl my husband “has feelings for”? Even though we lived in the same town, I rarely saw her. I knew she had twin boys that were older than Jenna and that she worked at a bank, but that was about it. The few times I had seen her around, we would smile at each other, but never exchange words. I didn’t think much about this because even in high school she was quiet but always pleasant and was never a threat to Aaron and my relationship. She was also a very pretty girl with dark olive skin and dark brown eyes and hair, which is what probably intimidated me the most.

      “Kate, don’t do this to yourself. You need to remember she was only a rebound for a weak link in your marriage.”

      “I know . . . it’s just hard not to be jealous of her.”

      “Trust me. I have no doubt that she is more jealous of you than you will ever be of her.”

      The way she said that made me feel like she was seeing something I wasn’t, but I didn’t argue with her. No matter what Megan or anybody else said, I could see it only one way - that Aaron wanted to be with Angie, not me.

      “Actually,” Megan then began, her tone of voice enticing me. “She has put on a little bit of weight—maybe ten to fifteen pounds.”

      “Awesome!” I blurted out without thinking.

      “Kate!” Megan said, laughing.

      “I’m sorry. I don’t know where that came from.”

      “I know where it came from. It came from that hoochie mama wanting your man,” she joked and I couldn’t help but to laugh.

      I was in a really good mood the next day at work and was looking forward to spending the evening with Liz and her family. I was about ready to lock my classroom when my cell phone beeped, letting me know I had a text message. Not thinking much about it, I hit the view button and began to read a message from Megan.

       Wanted to tell you in person, but couldn’t because the kids are with me. Just drove by Aaron’s house and saw Angie’s car there. Sorry for telling you this, but thought you had a right to know. I’ll call you later.

      How is this possible? Learning this felt worse now than it did the day I found out about the two of them.

      “I’m not going to make it tonight,” I told Liz as soon as I read Megan’s message, trying not to cry.

      “Why?” she asked, irritation in her tone.

      “Megan just texted me, and Angie’s car was at my . . . I mean Aaron’s house this morning,” I choked out.

      “Oh Kate, I’m so sorry.”

      “I don’t know why this is bugging me so much. They almost slept together for Pete’s sake, and they’ve been talking to each other on the phone for months, so why am I crying over the fact that she was over there?”

      “Probably because it’s the first time they have been together since you two have not.”

      “When is this pain going to go away?” I cried.

      “I wish I had an answer for you.”

      “Me too . . . Me too,” I repeated.

      After hanging up with her, I closed my eyes, begging and pleading to go far away to a place where there was no hurt like this.

      Chapter 15

      “Kate, I’m sorry for coming here, but you keep avoiding me and I don’t know what else to do.”

      My mind was still preoccupied by the text Megan sent yesterday, and I didn’t even notice a nervous Aaron standing beside my car in the school’s parking lot.

      “Just give me five minutes,” he pleaded.

      “Okay,” I finally agreed.

      His car was parked beside mine and he opened the passenger door for me. As I dropped into his passenger seat, the familiar scent and old memories came rushing back. Wasn’t it just yesterday when our girls’ voices and laughter filled the car? When we rode together in this car as a family. But now, as we sat side by side, he seemed more like a stranger to me instead of a man I had been with for the last eighteen years.

      “Kate, please say something. I can’t take this anymore,” he said in a weak voice.

      “Aaron, what do you want me to say?” I finally asked, looking him straight in the eyes. “I am still in shock over this whole thing, and do you blame me? I find out that after eighteen years of being together, you’re in love with another woman, and you don’t want to be with me anymore. You tell me how sorry you are and how you made the biggest mistake of your life by almost sleeping with her, yet you never once asked me for my forgiveness or suggested we try to save our marriage. Instead, you throw at me, out of the blue, how you can’t live like this anymore and you want a divorce. I thought we were best friends, but best friends don’t do that to one another. They don’t walk away from a wonderful wife and family just because of sex. But do you want to know what hurts more than anything? The fact that while I have been grieving over the loss of our marriage, she has been to our house, my home!” I said, my voice rising.

      My heart was beating a mile a minute. Everything from the last month, and then her being at our house this morning, filled me with so much jealousy and anger that I had never felt before in my life.

      “Maybe the reason I haven’t wanted to talk about us is because there is no more us. You obviously want out and I’m not going to stand in your way anymore. You can start the divorce procedures as soon as you want,” I said, then hurriedly got out of his car and into mine.

      I had no sooner pulled away, when my cell phone began to ring. It was Aaron, and I didn’t answer it. A couple seconds later, it beeped letting me know I had a message. Finally, against my better judgment, I listened to it.

       Kate—I know you will never believe me, but I do and always will love you more than anything in this world. I know I have hurt you beyond belief, but you have hurt me too. How do you think it feels to be in love with someone who isn’t in love with you? You know as well as I do that you fell out of love with me a long time ago, but you decided to just live with it because that was easier than doing something about it. You said that I never asked you what you wanted to do, but the truth is you never once asked