Essential Novelists - Mark Twain. August Nemo

think of the fishing that’s here.”

      “I don’t care for fishing. I want to go home.”

      “But, Joe, there ain’t such another swimming-place anywhere.”

      “Swimming’s no good. I don’t seem to care for it, somehow, when there ain’t anybody to say I sha’n’t go in. I mean to go home.”

      “Oh, shucks! Baby! You want to see your mother, I reckon.”

      “Yes, I do want to see my mother—and you would, too, if you had one. I ain’t any more baby than you are.” And Joe snuffled a little.

      “Well, we’ll let the crybaby go home to his mother, won’t we, Huck? Poor thing—does it want to see its mother? And so it shall. You like it here, don’t you, Huck? We’ll stay, won’t we?”

      Huck said, “Y-e-s”—without any heart in it.

      “I’ll never speak to you again as long as I live,” said Joe, rising. “There now!” And he moved moodily away and began to dress himself.

      “Who cares!” said Tom. “Nobody wants you to. Go ’long home and get laughed at. Oh, you’re a nice pirate. Huck and me ain’t crybabies. We’ll stay, won’t we, Huck? Let him go if he wants to. I reckon we can get along without him, per’aps.”

      But Tom was uneasy, nevertheless, and was alarmed to see Joe go sullenly on with his dressing. And then it was discomforting to see Huck eying Joe’s preparations so wistfully, and keeping up such an ominous silence. Presently, without a parting word, Joe began to wade off toward the Illinois shore. Tom’s heart began to sink. He glanced at Huck. Huck could not bear the look, and dropped his eyes. Then he said:

      “I want to go, too, Tom. It was getting so lonesome anyway, and now it’ll be worse. Let’s us go, too, Tom.”

      “I won’t! You can all go, if you want to. I mean to stay.”

      “Tom, I better go.”

      “Well, go ’long—who’s hendering you.”

      Huck began to pick up his scattered clothes. He said:

      “Tom, I wisht you’d come, too. Now you think it over. We’ll wait for you when we get to shore.”

      “Well, you’ll wait a blame long time, that’s all.”

      Huck started sorrowfully away, and Tom stood looking after him, with a strong desire tugging at his heart to yield his pride and go along too. He hoped the boys would stop, but they still waded slowly on. It suddenly dawned on Tom that it was become very lonely and still. He made one final struggle with his pride, and then darted after his comrades, yelling:

      “Wait! Wait! I want to tell you something!”

      They presently stopped and turned around. When he got to where they were, he began unfolding his secret, and they listened moodily till at last they saw the “point” he was driving at, and then they set up a warwhoop of applause and said it was “splendid!” and said if he had told them at first, they wouldn’t have started away. He made a plausible excuse; but his real reason had been the fear that not even the secret would keep them with him any very great length of time, and so he had meant to hold it in reserve as a last seduction.

      The lads came gayly back and went at their sports again with a will, chattering all the time about Tom’s stupendous plan and admiring the genius of it. After a dainty egg and fish dinner, Tom said he wanted to learn to smoke, now. Joe caught at the idea and said he would like to try, too. So Huck made pipes and filled them. These novices had never smoked anything before but cigars made of grapevine, and they “bit” the tongue, and were not considered manly anyway.

      Now they stretched themselves out on their elbows and began to puff, charily, and with slender confidence. The smoke had an unpleasant taste, and they gagged a little, but Tom said:

      “Why, it’s just as easy! If I’d a knowed this was all, I’d a learnt long ago.”

      “So would I,” said Joe. “It’s just nothing.”

      “Why, many a time I’ve looked at people smoking, and thought well I wish I could do that; but I never thought I could,” said Tom.

      “That’s just the way with me, hain’t it, Huck? You’ve heard me talk just that way—haven’t you, Huck? I’ll leave it to Huck if I haven’t.”

      “Yes—heaps of times,” said Huck.

      “Well, I have too,” said Tom; “oh, hundreds of times. Once down by the slaughter-house. Don’t you remember, Huck? Bob Tanner was there, and Johnny Miller, and Jeff Thatcher, when I said it. Don’t you remember, Huck, ’bout me saying that?”

      “Yes, that’s so,” said Huck. “That was the day after I lost a white alley. No, ’twas the day before.”

      “There—I told you so,” said Tom. “Huck recollects it.”

      “I bleeve I could smoke this pipe all day,” said Joe. “I don’t feel sick.”

      “Neither do I,” said Tom. “I could smoke it all day. But I bet you Jeff Thatcher couldn’t.”

      “Jeff Thatcher! Why, he’d keel over just with two draws. Just let him try it once. He’d see!”

      “I bet he would. And Johnny Miller—I wish could see Johnny Miller tackle it once.”

      “Oh, don’t I!” said Joe. “Why, I bet you Johnny Miller couldn’t any more do this than nothing. Just one little snifter would fetch him.”

      “’Deed it would, Joe. Say—I wish the boys could see us now.”

      “So do I.”

      “Say—boys, don’t say anything about it, and some time when they’re around, I’ll come up to you and say, ‘Joe, got a pipe? I want a smoke.’ And you’ll say, kind of careless like, as if it warn’t anything, you’ll say, ‘Yes, I got my old pipe, and another one, but my tobacker ain’t very good.’ And I’ll say, ‘Oh, that’s all right, if it’s strong enough.’ And then you’ll out with the pipes, and we’ll light up just as ca’m, and then just see ’em look!”

      “By jings, that’ll be gay, Tom! I wish it was now!”

      “So do I! And when we tell ’em we learned when we was off pirating, won’t they wish they’d been along?”

      “Oh, I reckon not! I’ll just bet they will!”

      So the talk ran on. But presently it began to flag a trifle, and grow disjointed. The silences widened; the expectoration marvellously increased. Every pore inside the boys’ cheeks became a spouting fountain; they could scarcely bail out the cellars under their tongues fast enough to prevent an inundation; little overflowings down their throats occurred in spite of all they could do, and sudden retchings followed every time. Both boys were looking very pale and miserable, now. Joe’s pipe dropped from his nerveless fingers. Tom’s followed. Both fountains were going furiously and both pumps bailing with might and main. Joe said feebly:

      “I’ve lost my knife. I reckon I better go and find it.”

      Tom said, with quivering lips and halting utterance:

      “I’ll help you. You go over that way and I’ll hunt around by the spring. No, you needn’t come, Huck—we can find it.”

      So Huck sat down again, and waited an hour. Then he found it lonesome, and went to find his comrades. They were wide apart in the woods, both very pale, both fast asleep. But something informed him that if they had had any trouble they had got rid of it.

      They were not talkative at supper that night. They had a humble look, and when Huck prepared his pipe after the meal and was going to prepare theirs, they said no, they were not feeling very well—something they ate at dinner had disagreed