Tales and Fantasies. Robert Louis Stevenson

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       Robert Louis Stevenson

      Tales and Fantasies

      Published by Good Press, 2019

       [email protected]

      EAN 4057664118394

Table of Contents

       THE MISADVENTURES OF JOHN NICHOLSON

       CHAPTER I—IN WHICH JOHN SOWS THE WIND

       CHAPTER II—IN WHICH JOHN REAPS THE WHIRLWIND

       CHAPTER III—IN WHICH JOHN ENJOYS THE HARVEST HOME

       CHAPTER IV—THE SECOND SOWING

       CHAPTER V—THE PRODIGAL’S RETURN

       CHAPTER VI—THE HOUSE AT MURRAYFIELD

       CHAPTER VII—A TRAGI-COMEDY IN A CAB

       CHAPTER VIII—SINGULAR INSTANCE OF THE UTILITY OF PASS-KEYS

       CHAPTER IX—IN WHICH MR. NICHOLSON ACCEPTS THE PRINCIPLE OF AN ALLOWANCE

       THE BODY-SNATCHER

       THE STORY OF A LIE

       CHAPTER I—INTRODUCES THE ADMIRAL

       CHAPTER II—A LETTER TO THE PAPERS

       CHAPTER III—IN THE ADMIRAL’S NAME

       CHAPTER IV—ESTHER ON THE FILIAL RELATION

       CHAPTER V—THE PRODIGAL FATHER MAKES HIS DEBUT AT HOME

       CHAPTER VI—THE PRODIGAL FATHER GOES ON FROM STRENGTH TO STRENGTH

       CHAPTER VII—THE ELOPEMENT

       CHAPTER VIII—BATTLE ROYAL

       CHAPTER IX—IN WHICH THE LIBERAL EDITOR RE-APPEARS AS ‘DEUS EX MACHINA’

THE MISADVENTURES OF JOHN NICHOLSON

       Table of Contents

CHAPTER I—IN WHICH JOHN SOWS THE WIND

       Table of Contents

      John Varey Nicholson was stupid; yet, stupider men than he are now sprawling in Parliament, and lauding themselves as the authors of their own distinction. He was of a fat habit, even from boyhood, and inclined to a cheerful and cursory reading of the face of life; and possibly this attitude of mind was the original cause of his misfortunes. Beyond this hint philosophy is silent on his career, and superstition steps in with the more ready explanation that he was detested of the gods.

      His father—that iron gentleman—had long ago enthroned himself on the heights of the Disruption Principles. What these are (and in spite of their grim name they are quite innocent) no array of terms would render thinkable to the merely English intelligence; but to the Scot they often prove unctuously nourishing, and Mr. Nicholson found in them the milk of lions. About the period when the churches convene at Edinburgh in their annual assemblies, he was to be seen descending the Mound in the company of divers red-headed clergymen: these voluble, he only contributing oracular nods, brief negatives, and the austere spectacle of his stretched upper lip. The names of Candlish and Begg were frequent in these interviews, and occasionally the talk ran on the Residuary Establishment and the doings of one Lee. A stranger to the tight little theological kingdom of Scotland might have listened and gathered literally nothing. And Mr. Nicholson (who was not a dull man) knew this, and raged at it. He knew there was a vast world outside, to whom Disruption Principles were as the chatter of tree-top apes; the paper brought him chill whiffs from it; he had met Englishmen who had asked lightly if he did not belong to the Church of Scotland, and then had failed to be much interested by his elucidation of that nice point; it was an evil, wild, rebellious world, lying sunk in dozenedness, for nothing short of a Scots word will paint this Scotsman’s feelings. And when he entered into his own house in Randolph Crescent (south side), and shut the door behind him, his heart swelled with security. Here, at least, was a citadel impregnable by right-hand defections or left-hand extremes. Here was a family where prayers came at the same hour, where the Sabbath literature was unimpeachably selected, where the guest who should have leaned to any false opinion was instantly set down, and over which there reigned all week, and grew denser on Sundays, a silence that was agreeable to his ear, and a gloom that he found comfortable.

      Mrs. Nicholson had died about thirty, and left him with three children: a daughter two years, and a son about eight years younger than John; and John himself, the unlucky bearer of a name infamous in English history. The daughter, Maria, was a good girl—dutiful, pious, dull, but so easily startled that to speak to her was quite a perilous enterprise. ‘I don’t think I care to talk about that, if you please,’ she would say, and strike the boldest speechless by her unmistakable pain; this upon all topics—dress, pleasure, morality, politics, in which the formula was changed to ‘my papa thinks otherwise,’ and even religion, unless it was approached with a particular whining tone of voice. Alexander, the younger brother, was sickly, clever, fond of books and drawing, and full of satirical remarks. In the midst of these, imagine that natural, clumsy, unintelligent, and mirthful animal, John; mighty well-behaved in comparison with other lads, although not up to the mark of the house in Randolph Crescent; full of a sort of blundering affection, full of caresses, which were never very warmly received; full of sudden and loud laughter which rang out in that still house like curses. Mr. Nicholson himself had a great fund of humour, of the Scots order—intellectual, turning on the observation of men; his own character, for instance—if he could have seen it in another—would have been a rare feast to him; but his son’s empty guffaws over a broken plate, and empty, almost light-hearted remarks, struck him with pain as the indices of a weak mind.

      Outside the family John had early attached himself (much as a dog may follow a marquis) to the steps of Alan Houston, a lad about a year older than himself, idle, a trifle wild, the heir to a good estate