LITTLE WOMEN - Complete Edition: Little Women, Good Wives, Little Men & Jo's Boys. Луиза Мэй Олкотт

his head and shoulders into a tub of water,

       upset a keg of soft soap upon his manly form, and torn

       his garments badly. On being removed from this perilous

       situation, it was discovered that he had suffered

       no injury but several bruises, and we are happy to add,

       is now doing well.

       ED.

      ________

      THE PUBLIC BEREAVEMENT

      It is our painful duty to record the sudden and

       mysterious disappearance of our cherished friend, Mrs.

       Snowball Pat Paw. This lovely and beloved cat was the

       pet of a large circle of warm and admiring friends; for

       her beauty attracted all eyes, her graces and virtues

       endeared her to all hearts, and her loss is deeply felt

       by the whole community.

      When last seen, she was sitting at the gate, watching

       the butcher’s cart, and it is feared that some villain,

       tempted by her charms, basely stole her. Weeks have passed,

       but no trace of her has been discovered, and we relinquish

       all hope, tie a black ribbon to her basket, set aside her

       dish, and weep for her as one lost to us forever.

      ________

      A sympathizing friend sends the following gem:

      A LAMENT

       (FOR S. B. PAT PAW)

      We mourn the loss of our little pet,

       And sigh o’er her hapless fate,

       For never more by the fire she’ll sit,

       Nor play by the old green gate.

      The little grave where her infant sleeps

       Is ‘neath the chestnut tree.

       But o’er her grave we may not weep,

       We know not where it may be.

      Her empty bed, her idle ball,

       Will never see her more;

       No gentle tap, no loving purr

       Is heard at the parlor door.

      Another cat comes after her mice,

       A cat with a dirty face,

       But she does not hunt as our darling did,

       Nor play with her airy grace.

      Her stealthy paws tread the very hall

       Where Snowball used to play,

       But she only spits at the dogs our pet

       So gallantly drove away.

      She is useful and mild, and does her best,

       But she is not fair to see,

       And we cannot give her your place dear,

       Nor worship her as we worship thee.

       A.S.

      ________

      ADVERTISEMENTS

      MISS ORANTHY BLUGGAGE, the accomplished

       strongminded lecturer, will deliver her

       famous lecture on “WOMAN AND HER POSITION”

       at Pickwick Hall, next Saturday Evening,

       after the usual performances.

      A WEEKLY MEETING will be held at Kitchen

       Place, to teach young ladies how to cook.

       Hannah Brown will preside, and all are

       invited to attend.

      The DUSTPAN SOCIETY will meet on Wednesday

       next, and parade in the upper story of the

       Club House. All members to appear in uniform

       and shoulder their brooms at nine precisely.

      Mrs. BETH BOUNCER will open her new

       assortment of Doll’s Millinery next week.

       The latest Paris fashions have arrived,

       and orders are respectfully solicited.

      A NEW PLAY will appear at the Barnville

       Theatre, in the course of a few weeks, which

       will surpass anything ever seen on the American stage.

       “The Greek Slave, or Constantine the Avenger,” is the name

       of this thrilling drama!!!

      HINTS

      If S.P. didn’t use so much soap on his hands,

       he wouldn’t always be late at breakfast. A.S.

       is requested not to whistle in the street. T.T

       please don’t forget Amy’s napkin. N.W. must

       not fret because his dress has not nine tucks.

      WEEKLY REPORT

      Meg-Good.

       Jo-Bad.

       Beth-Very Good.

       Amy-Middling.

      _________________________________________________

      As the President finished reading the paper (which I beg leave to assure my readers is a bona fide copy of one written by bona fide girls once upon a time), a round of applause followed, and then Mr. Snodgrass rose to make a proposition.

      “Mr. President and gentlemen,” he began, assuming a parliamentary attitude and tone, “I wish to propose the admission of a new member-one who highly deserves the honor, would be deeply grateful for it, and would add immensely to the spirit of the club, the literary value of the paper, and be no end jolly and nice. I propose Mr. Theodore Laurence as an honorary member of the P. C. Come now, do have him.”

      Jo’s sudden change of tone made the girls laugh, but all looked rather anxious, and no one said a word as Snodgrass took his seat.

      “We’ll put it to a vote,” said the President. “All in favor of this motion please to manifest it by saying, ‘Aye’.”

      A loud response from Snodgrass, followed, to everybody’s surprise, by a timid one from Beth.

      “Contrary-minded say, ‘No’.”

      Meg and Amy were contrary-minded, and Mr. Winkle rose to say with great elegance, “We don’t wish any boys, they only joke and bounce about. This is a ladies’ club, and we wish to be private and proper.”

      “I’m afraid he’ll laugh at our paper, and make fun of us afterward,” observed Pickwick, pulling the little curl on her forehead, as she always did when doubtful.

      Up rose Snodgrass, very much in earnest. “Sir, I give you my word as a gentleman, Laurie won’t do anything of the sort. He likes to write, and he’ll give a tone to our contributions and keep us from being sentimental, don’t you see? We can do so little for him, and he does so much for us, I think the least we can do is to offer him a place here, and make him welcome if he comes.”

      This artful allusion to benefits conferred brought Tupman to his feet, looking as if he had quite made up his mind.

      “Yes; we ought to do it, even if we are afraid. I say he may come, and his grandpa, too, if he likes.”

      This spirited burst from Beth electrified the club, and Jo left her seat to shake hands approvingly. “Now then, vote again. Everybody remember it’s our Laurie, and say, ‘Aye!’” cried