The Cynic's Word Book. Амброз Бирс

First Person of the Hindoo Trinity,

       You sit there so calm and securely,

       With feet folded up so demurely—

       You're the First Person Singular, surely.

       Polydore Smith.

      BRAIN, n. An apparatus with which we think that we think. That which distinguishes the man who is content to be something from the man who wishes to do something. A man of great wealth, or one who has been pitchforked into high station, has commonly such a headful of brain that his neighbors cannot keep their hats on. In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, brain is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

      BRANDY, n. A cordial composed of one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-thegrave and four parts clarified Satan. Dose, a headful all the time. Brandy is said, by Carlyle, I think, to be the drink of heroes. Only a hero will venture to drink it.

      BRIDE, n. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

      BRUTE, n. See HUSBAND.