The Complete Short Stories of W.D. Howells (Illustrated Edition). William Dean Howells

one of the papas did it; and whenever he gave anybody a piece, the grandfather would tell some new story about the turkey, till pretty soon the aunties got to saying, “Now, father, stop!” and one of them said it made it seem as if the gobbler was walking about on the table, to hear so much about him, and it took her appetite all away; and that made the papas begin to ask the grandfather more and more about the turkey.

      “Yes,” said the little girl, thoughtfully; “I know what papas are.”

      “Yes, they’re pretty much all alike.”

      And the mammas began to say they acted like a lot of silly boys; and what would the children think? But nothing could stop it; and all through the afternoon and evening, whenever the papas saw any of the aunties or mammas round, they would begin to ask the grandfather more particulars about the turkey. The grandfather was pretty forgetful, and he told the same things right over. Well, and so it went on till it came bedtime, and then the mammas and aunties began to laugh and whisper together, and to say they did believe they should dream about that turkey; and when the papas kissed the grandmother good-night, they said, Well, they must have his mate for Christmas; and then they put their arms round the mammas and went out haw-hawing.

      “I don’t think they behaved very dignified,” said the little girl.

      “Well, you see, they were just funning, and had got going, and it was Thanksgiving, anyway.”

      Well, in about half an hour everybody was fast asleep and dreaming—

      “Is it going to be a dream?” asked the little girl, with some reluctance.

      “Didn’t I say it was going to be a true story?”

      “Yes.”

      “How can it be a dream, then?”

      “You said everybody was fast asleep and dreaming.”

      “Well, but I hadn’t got through. Everybody except one little girl.”

      “Now, papa!”

      “What?”

      “Don’t you go and say her name was the same as mine, and her eyes the same color.”

      “What an idea!”

      This was a very good little girl, and very respectful to her papa, and didn’t suspect him of tricks, but just believed everything he said. And she was a very pretty little girl, and had red eyes, and blue cheeks, and straight hair, and a curly nose—

      “Now, papa, if you get to cutting up—”

      “Well, I won’t, then!”

      Well, she was rather a delicate little girl, and whenever she over-ate, or anything,

      “Have bad dreams! Aha! I told you it was going to be a dream.”

      “You wait till I get through.”

      She was apt to lie awake thinking, and some of her thinks were pretty dismal. Well, that night, instead of thinking and tossing and turning, and counting a thousand, it seemed to this other little girl that she began to see things as soon as she had got warm in bed, and before, even. And the first thing she saw was a large, bronze-colored—

      “Turkey gobbler!”

      “No, ma’am. Turkey gobbler’s ghost.”

      “Foo!” said the little girl, rather uneasily; “whoever heard of a turkey’s ghost, I should like to know?”

      “Never mind, that,” said the papa. “If it hadn’t been a ghost, could the moonlight have shone through it? No, indeed! The stuffing wouldn’t have let it. So you see it must have been a ghost.”

      It had a red pasteboard placard round its neck, with First Premium printed on it, and so she knew that it was the ghost of the very turkey they had had for dinner. It was perfectly awful when it put up its tail, and dropped its wings, and strutted just the way the grandfather said it used to do. It seemed to be in a wide pasture, like that back of the house, and the children had to cross it to get home, and they were all afraid of the turkey that kept gobbling at them and threatening them, because they had eaten him up. At last one of the boys—it was the other little girl’s brother—said he would run across and get his papa to come out and help them, and the first thing she knew the turkey was after him, gaining, gaining, gaining, and all the grass was full of hen-turkeys and turkey chicks, running after him, and gaining, gaining, gaining, and just as he was getting to the wall he tripped and fell over a turkey-pen, and all at once she was in one of the aunties’ room, and the aunty was in bed, and the turkeys were walking up and down over her, and stretching out their wings, and blaming her. Two of them carried a platter of chicken pie, and there was a large pumpkin jack-o’-lantern hanging to the bedpost to light the room, and it looked just like the other little girl’s brother in the face, only perfectly ridiculous.

       “The Old Gobbler ‘First Premium’ Said They Were Going to Turn the Tables Now.”

      Then the old gobbler, First Premium, clapped his wings, and said, “Come on, chick-chickledren!” and then they all seemed to be in her room, and she was standing in the middle of it in her night-gown, and tied round and round with ribbons, so she couldn’t move hand or foot. The old gobbler, First Premium, said they were going to turn the tables now, and she knew what he meant, for they had had that in the reader at school just before vacation, and the teacher had explained it. He made a long speech, with his hat on, and kept pointing at her with one of his wings, while he told the other turkeys that it was her grandfather who had done it, and now it was their turn. He said that human beings had been eating turkeys ever since the discovery of America, and it was time for the turkeys to begin paying them back, if they were ever going to. He said she was pretty young, but she was as big as he was, and he had no doubt they would enjoy her.

      The other little girl tried to tell him that she was not to blame, and that she only took a very, very little piece.

      “But it was right off the breast,” said the gobbler, and he shed tears, so that the other little girl cried, too. She didn’t have much hopes, they all seemed so spiteful, especially the little turkey chicks; but she told them that she was very tender-hearted, and never hurt a single thing, and she tried to make them understand that there was a great difference between eating people and just eating turkeys.

      “What difference, I should like to know?” says the old hen-turkey, pretty snappishly.

      “People have got souls, and turkeys haven’t,” says the other little girl.

      “I don’t see how that makes it any better,” says the old hen-turkey. “It don’t make it any better for the turkeys. If we haven’t got any souls, we can’t live after we’ve been eaten up, and you can.”

      The other little girl was awfully frightened to have the hen-turkey take that tack.

      “I should think she would ’a’ been,” said the little girl; and she cuddled snugger into her papa’s arms. “What could she say? Ugh! Go on.”

      Well, she didn’t know what to say, that’s a fact. You see, she never thought of it in that light before. All she could say was, “Well, people have got reason, anyway, and turkeys have only got instinct; so there!”

      “You’d better look out,” says the old hen-turkey; and all the little turkey chicks got so mad they just hopped, and the oldest little he-turkey, that was just beginning to be a gobbler, he dropped his wings and spread his tail just like his father, and walked round the other little girl till it was perfectly frightful.

      “I should think they would ’a’ been ashamed.”

      Well, perhaps old First Premium was a little; because he stopped them. “My dear,” he says to the old hen-turkey, and chick-chickledren, “you forget yourselves; you should have a little consideration. Perhaps you wouldn’t behave much better yourselves