Duty Or Desire. Brenda Jackson

he’d been engaged once and his girlfriend from high school had died just weeks before their wedding. She’d been participating in a local parade when she was thrown off her horse.

      Myra had been saddened by the story and a part of her heart had gone out to the man who’d lost the love of his life so close to their wedding day. That had been twelve years ago and she wondered if he was now seriously involved with anyone.

      She picked up her phone when it began ringing, recognized the ringtone. “Hello, Bella.”

      “Myra, how are you?”

      “I’m fine. What about you?”

      “Doing okay but I hear there will be a snowstorm beginning tonight. I hope you’re prepared,” Bella said.

      “I am. Besides, staying inside will give me a chance to work on my thesis.”

      “How is that coming?”

      “Great. I’m hoping to turn it in around this time next year.”

      “That’s outstanding. Another reason I’m calling is to invite you to the Westmorelands’ chow-down on Friday night.”

      “Oh, thanks for thinking of me again, but I’m moving on Friday.”

      “Moving?”

      “Yes. I’ve been hired to be Sheriff Higgins’s temporary nanny while Miss Bonnie is away.”

      “That’s wonderful. You’ll be perfect, and Pete will go to work each day knowing Ciara is in good hands. The girls will be disappointed not to see you on Friday.”

      Myra laughed when she thought of Bella and Jason’s twins. She had won them over, along with a few other Westmoreland kids, with her magic tricks when she’d attended their Friday night chow-down a few weeks ago.

      “Well, I’m going to have to pay them a visit once I get settled at the Higgins place. Then I can bring Ciara along.”

      “Oh, they will enjoy that, and we’ll look forward to your visit.”

      “So, what’s on your mind, Pete?”

      Pete glanced over at Zane Westmoreland, whose long legs were stretched out in front of him as he took a sip of his beer. His wife, Channing, was expecting their first child and yet Zane had just finished telling Pete that Zane was the one craving stuff.

      “I need your expert advice on something.”

      Zane lifted a brow. “What?”

      “Not sure if you heard that Bonnie’s sister has cancer and she needs to be in Texas for about two months.”

      “Yes, Bonnie mentioned it when I first got here. I told her that I was sorry to hear that.”

      “Her leaving means I have to hire a nanny until she returns. I found one, a woman name Myra Hollister, but I detected possible problems.”

      Zane raised a brow. “What kind of problems?”

      “She’s a very beautiful woman.”

      Zane nodded. “I met Myra a couple of weeks ago when Bella invited her to one of the Westmoreland chow-downs, and you’re right, she’s a beautiful woman. She’s also single and so are you, so what’s the problem?”

      “She’s younger than me by twelve years.”

      “And?”

      Pete took a sip of his own beer. “I want things to remain professional between us while she’s living here.”

      Zane lifted a brow. “Why wouldn’t they? Or, why should they if you’re attracted to her?”

      Pete frowned. “Who said I was attracted to her?”

      Zane chuckled and then shook his head. “Oh, you want to be one of those, do you?”

      “One of what?”

      “A man in denial.”

      “I’ll admit to being attracted to her. A little.”

      “A little?” Zane shook his head, ginning.

      “What if I told you that she’s not interested in me?”

      “And how do you know that?”

      Pete took another sip of his beer. “I warned her that people might talk, with her being young and single and living under my roof. She told me not to worry about it since I wasn’t her type and that I’m older than the men she would normally date.”

      Zane snorted. “At twenty-four she’s probably not sure what type of man is her type, and maybe it’s time for her to date men your age to see what she’s been missing. If I were you, I’d see that as a challenge and prove her wrong on both accounts.”

      “Why would I want to do something like that?”

      The room was quiet for a moment and then Zane said, “You know what I think your real problem is, Pete?”

      In a way, Pete was afraid to ask because the great know-it-all-about-women Zane Westmoreland was known to tell it like it was and not sugarcoat anything. “What?”

      “Your problem is denial, plain and simple. You desire the woman, so admit it and stop trying to fight it.”

      Pete didn’t say anything, then he said, “I have to fight it, Zane.”

      “Why?”

      “Because I don’t want it. I’m not ready for it.”

      Zane frowned. “I’m sure you’ve dated and desired women before, Pete.”

      He nodded. “This is different.” He met Zane’s intense gaze for a long moment and only someone who knew him as well as Zane did would feel the depth of his turmoil.

      “Ellen would want you to move on with your life, Pete.”

      If another person told him that, Pete would be tempted to ram his fist into the nearest wall. “You don’t know that.”

      “I do know it and I’m wondering why in the hell you don’t. Have you forgotten that Ellen used to be one of Megan’s best friends? She hung around our place just as often as you did. She was a wonderful girl who didn’t have a selfish bone in her body. There’s no way she wouldn’t want you to move on with your life. I think the problem is one you’re bringing on yourself.”

      Zane took another sip of his beer and then added, “Apparently Myra Hollister is capable of making you want to move on and—”

      “Hey, wait a minute. Things aren’t that serious. We’re talking about an attraction and nothing more.”

      Zane shook his head. “But there is more, Pete. Attraction and desire aren’t the same. A man doesn’t desire every woman he’s attracted to.”

      When Pete didn’t say anything, Zane said, “If you’re trying to stop desiring her, don’t bother.”

      “Why?”

      “Because you can’t get rid of something you won’t acknowledge having. You have a thing for the woman, so admit it. You desire her, too, so admit that, as well. And if you don’t want either, then don’t hire her as your nanny because the more you’re around her, the more you’re going to desire her.”

      Pete met Zane’s gaze. “Too late. I have hired her.” He paused a moment and then said, “I don’t want chaos in my life, Zane.”

      Zane drew in a deep breath. “Any chaos will be of your own making. Desiring a woman is a healthy part of being a man, Pete. If you want to waste those emotions, go ahead. Doing so won’t eliminate this problem you have but will only increase it. If she stays here and you try to fight your desire, then eventually you’re going