Not Until You. Roni Loren

or a greedy ex-wife or child support to pay. The last couple of thoughts had my lungs constricting.

      “You’re panicking again, doc,” Pike said softly.

      Foster lowered his hand. “Cela, if you need to ask more questions, need to know us better before we do this, just say the word. We can go to the bar and talk… or even go home if you want.”

      I swallowed past the knot in my throat. What did it matter if he had an ex or even if he had kids? This was not the start of a relationship. This was not a compatibility test. This was sex. A fun, hot diversion before I moved home. I knew I was safe with them, and God knows I was attracted to them. Those were the only must-haves for this type of thing.

      I nodded. “I’m okay. Maybe y’all can help me shut off my overanalytical brain.”

      Pike grinned. “Challenge accepted.”

      He slipped an arm around my waist and gave my hip a squeeze, instantly easing that last coup of my old self.

      Foster stopped at the front desk and gave the pretty blonde behind the desk his name. “We’ll need a suite for the night.”

      “Absolutely, Mr. Foster,” the woman said in that elegant, library-quiet voice that luxury hotel employees must practice. She tapped on her keyboard with long fingernails, then looked up, taking in the three people standing in front of her. “Two queens?”

      “Just a king,” Foster said smoothly.

      “Of course.” The woman’s lips pressed together, and her gaze slid over to mine.

      I braced for the impact, but where I expected judgment, I found envy in the other woman’s eyes. Huh.

      Three key cards appeared on the granite countertop. “You’ll be on the top floor to the right. Is there anything else I can help you with? I’m about to go on break, I could show you to your room if you’d like.”

      I heard an extra dose of suggestion in the seemingly innocuous statement, but Foster’s response was swift, his smile painstakingly polite. “No thank you…” He glanced at her nametag. “Tabitha. We have everything we need.”

      Foster grabbed my hand and gathered me to his side. “Come on, angel. I have a feeling the view upstairs is going to be fantastic.”

      Oh, I had no doubt. The thought of seeing these two naked had crossed my mind so many times, I could paint a detailed portrait of what I imagined was beneath their clothes. But as the elevator loomed in front of us, my conscience niggled at me, urging me to tell the guys the whole truth about my Never Have I Ever list. I hadn’t put anything on that list that wasn’t true. But like any former Catholic school girl knew, lies of omission were just as bad as blatant ones.

      The gold doors of the elevator dinged, and Pike took a quick step forward to hold the door open for me and Foster. We slipped into the elevator, and Pike followed, along with an older couple who were deeply involved in their discussion of the symphony they’d seen earlier. As the gray-haired lady tried to convince her husband that the tickets had been worth the price, I pressed my back against the side of the elevator, holding the rail behind me and listening to the warring factions in my head.

      Pike glanced down at my tight grip on the rail, then nudged me with his shoulder. “Got a fear of elevators, doc?”

      I made a weird sound—some hybrid of a nervous laugh and a snort. Totally attractive no doubt. “Not quite.”

      Our ascent slowed, and the doors opened to the other couple’s floor. The lady offered a cursory good-night to everyone, then stepped out with her husband, leaving me alone with the two guys and my thoughts.

      Pike stayed where he was, but Foster crossed over to the other side and turned to face me. “Cela, look at me.”

      With a sigh, I dragged my gaze upward.

      “Tell me what you need from us. I’m not stepping out of this elevator if I think you’re going to be white-knuckling your way through this. I want you to enjoy tonight.”

      I held his stare, willing myself to say something, anything. The last thing I wanted to do was go home. But I also couldn’t bring myself to tell him what was knotting me up. Speak, my brain shouted. The loud ding of the elevator was like a clap of thunder in the silence. The doors slid open with a smooth whir.

      Foster reached out and pressed the Door Open button but made no other move. Pike glanced at me, questions in his eyes. Neither of them were going to step out until I said something.

      I wet my lips, and my throat seemed to narrow. Panic was edging in now that the moment was here. No, no, no. Don’t back out now. I thought back to the cab, the way I’d felt when Foster had touched me, and how he’d taken what he wanted without asking. The shock of that had shut down my brain, had pulled me deep into those minutes and scared off any errant thoughts. It’d just been a taste, but I wanted more of that, more of that free fall.

      I forced my fingers off of the bar behind me. If I was going to jump, I couldn’t keep ahold of anything. My eyes stayed focused on Foster, on the commanding set of his jaw. “I had a bad experience the last time I was… with a guy. I fumbled a bit, things were awkward, and he made fun of me. Not in a playful way.”

      Anger flared in Foster’s eyes. “What an asshole.”

      “And an idiot,” Pike offered.

      I gave a little smile. “Definitely. But even knowing it was him who was in the wrong, it’s left me a little gun-shy.”

      The door tried to shut, but Foster pressed the button again. “You have to know that we would never disrespect you that way, and I kind of wish I had the address of the jerkoff who did that to you, because I’d like to pay him a visit and teach him some manners. But beyond that assurance, is there anything else you need to feel more comfortable? We can take things as slow as you want.”

      I looked up at him again, the rest of the story hovering on my lips. I knew I should spill it. It was the right thing to do. But if I told him the whole truth, it would ruin everything. It wasn’t worth the risk. He said he liked a girl who wasn’t afraid to ask for what she wanted. I could do that. I knew what I hoped for tonight, had heard all I needed to know listening to Foster through my thin wall. Now I just had to say it aloud. I flexed my fingers, trying to shed the nerves. “I don’t want to make any decisions tonight. I need you two to take over. Tell me what to do. I don’t want to be asked each step of the way.”

      Foster’s shift in expression was like dark falling over snow-covered fields, icy calm and inescapable. His nostrils flared as he inhaled a slow breath. “Cela, are you sure you know what you’re asking?”

      “Yes,” I whispered.

      His eyes stayed locked on mine, unblinking, intense. “Do you know what a safe word is?”

      I couldn’t even shake my head, it was as if his gaze was holding me in some suspended state. “No.”

      “If either of us does something that you want to stop immediately, you call this word and we’ll stop, no questions asked,” he said, his voice disconcertingly calm. “That’s the only power I require you to keep. Everything else, Pike and I will gladly take tonight.”

      A heavy shiver worked its way through me, the thought of really surrendering everything to these two guys was a dark fantasy I’d barely had the nerve to admit to myself. “Okay.”

      He stepped to the right, putting his back against the straining elevator doors and held out his hand. “Your safe word is tequila.”

      “Tequila,” I repeated. I looked down at his open palm. This was going to be my last decision of the night. And it was one that felt more right than anything had in as long as I could remember. I took Foster’s hand, then reached back for Pike’s with my other. Pike smiled and laced his fingers with mine.

      I left my free will in the elevator and watched as the doors closed, whisking it away.

      Now