In God’s Hands: The Spiritual Diaries of Pope St John Paul II. Литагент HarperCollins USD

have passed since my episcopal ordination and the retreat in Tyniec that preceded it. Time draws me away from this central fact in my life very quickly. The fact that will be of decisive significance for my death and for eternity.

      Time and eternity – not as an abstract idea, but as a share of one and the same person. The perspective of participation in eternity, that is in God. This perspective is grounded in the reality of the Person – ‘on the side’ of God and on the human side.

      The reality of the human person as a unity endowed with a certain transcendence and immortality of the soul (this matter awaits an in-depth consideration): Experience reveals to me not only the unity of existence, but also its complexity. Transcendent = spiritual; the basis of transcendence is the spirit. An awareness of the essential indestructibility of that which is spiritual and transcendent in a person (= its essence is such that it cannot be destroyed), e.g. moral or intellectual value. Hence the conclusion about the existence of an immanent cause in the human being, which is also indestructible. At the same time, the obvious evidence for the destructibility of the body: our ‘I’ as the body – destructible; as the spirit – indestructible.

      The Little Hours; Conversation with Br Aug. on the matters of governance in the Church; Vespers

      Adoration: The notion of transsignificatio [a change of meaning] and transfinalisatio [a change of aim] are not enough in themselves – trans-substantiatio [transubstantiation] reflects the depth of the mystery. ‘Beyond’ the reality of the Eucharist is the reality of God–Man, who ‘gives Himself entirely’ to us.

      Rosary (III)

      Meditation 2: On the matters which play a considerable role in my moral consciousness and conscience. First, their nature ‘in se’ [‘in themselves’]: diversity, the good – does it not include any subjectivity? – then ‘per accidens’ [‘contingently’]: the confessional – similar, but different – a ‘new stage’. A passionate petition for divine grace to help me carry out these matters well.

      Matins; Holy Hour: Christ face to face with the Father: Your will – call for vigilance (Humanae vitae) – betrayal or weakness? (of priests).

      Compline

       13 September

      Lauds (communal); Concelebrated Mass; Thanksgiving; Prime (private)

      Meditation 1 (potius consideratio [rather a consideration]): On my role in the Council of Bishops; on ‘complementarity’ – which is important now because of the preparation for the implementation of the Council in Poland. Also here, at the retreat, I collect and put in order my thoughts which relate to this and I begin writing.

      Rosary (I); Prayer for the gifts of the Holy Spirit; Rosary (II)

      Meditation 2: Further reflection on the last things. Man is called to a union with God. This final union is a mystery of faith: heaven as well as hell and purgatory. Excedit intelligentiam [it exceeds our understanding]. If an analogy of any kind can be evoked here, it is the relationship of persons. In this light, the union is, firstly, ‘personal’, which means that it is a union in truth and love founded in mutual knowledge (seeing) and will; and it is, secondly, a union of persons: the union of the human person with the Persons of the Most Holy Trinity: with the Father through the Son in the Holy Spirit.

      Rejection, that is, a non-union due to the lack of ‘personal’ foundation in truth and love, may be followed by a rejection of a person.

      Finally: reaching maturity necessary for the union in contrast to the lack of maturity.

      The Way of the Cross: The reflections on the Stations of the Cross partly followed the previous theme. The cross is, on the one hand, a tragedy of the rejection of God by the chosen people, yet at the same time, the cross rises above the tragedy of this rejection through the power of the redemptive, atoning and uplifting sacrifice – cf. the triple fall and the rising from weakness and mistake – from error and fault – from lies and hatred. Mary takes part in this, and She also helps us overcome that which causes our downfall.

      The Little Hours; Conversation with Br Michaёle (as if [illegible] an ascetic talk) on the topic: ‘the apostolate fundamentally grounded in prayer and sacrifice’; Vespers

      Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament: Marked by the revival of faith in the presence of the very same Christ who suffered on the cross: ‘transubstantiation’ – the beginning of this presence and its permanent foundation. He is present to give Himself to people. Here again the understanding of the ‘personal’ order helps a lot.

      Meditation (consideration): A continuation of the morning’s questions. Then the topic of the love of the enemy. Testimony to the truth given in a courageous and tenacious way is necessary. Defence of the Church and righteousness is necessary. What remains is the attitude to people: one needs to pray all the more.

      Message du S. Père aux prêtres [The Holy Father’s letter to all priests] (to mark the end of the year of faith).

      Other signs of the ‘negative attitude’: When I greatly desire the good of e.g. my community, I need to be careful that this ‘great desire’ does not turn into a kind of hostility towards others.

      Rosary (III); Penitential psalms; Litany of the Saints; Office prayers; Compline

       14 September: Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross

      Lauds; Participation in the concelebrated Mass, and simultaneously:

      Meditation 1: (Consideration): A continuation of yesterday evening’s meditation. One needs to be vigilant because even here I have heard of some breakdowns. There needs to be a deep wish for the good, and a courageous defence of the Church, righteousness and truth – but one needs to be vigilant so that it does not become an ordinary ‘vehemence’. This difficult aspect of self-improvement should be entrusted in particular to the Mother of God (Saturday!).

      Prime; Participation in the Low Mass, and simultaneously: Rosary (I), Rosary (II)

      Meditation 2: In a sense a continuation of yesterday morning’s reflection on the topic of union with God. Today I consider the ‘structure of condemnation’. Condemnation, just like salvation, the union with God, is a mystery of faith. However, if one can per analogiam [by analogy] use personalist structures, various stages are, so to speak, revealed. A failure to meet in truth and love caused by some weakness or mistake is something other than the rejection of God – because He upsets e.g. one’s vanity.

      Actually, we only know the figure of the condemned angel (‘… prepared for the devil and his angels’).³

      And Christ says: ‘the one who does not believe will be condemned’⁴ and ‘depart from me into the eternal fire … truly I tell you, just as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me’.⁵ One needs to consider these mysteries further:

      The structure of rejection is closely linked to the structure of conscience (quod non est ex fide, peccatum est [whatever does not proceed from faith is sin]):⁶ the question of good and bad faith (bonae et malae fidei). The rejected angel is certainly of bad faith; he hates God, even though he knows that He is the fullness of good, and he does not want to serve Him, even though he knows he ought to.

      The problem of ‘conviction’: certain conscience – and doubtful conscience (one must not act in accordance with the latter). The problems ‘ad cautelam’ [‘for caution’].

      The Way of the Cross (in unity with the Mother of God); The Little Hours;

      Conversation with Br Ludwik (and Marian) – about vocation; Vespers

      Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament: Thanksgiving for the wonderful reality of the Eucharist, in which I have been participating for so many years as a priest, and for ten years as a bishop!

      Consideratio