Дживс, вы – гений! / Thank you, Jeeves!. Пелам Гренвилл Вудхаус

obviously in love about me, but he is silent.”

      “He does not speak?”

      “Not a syllable.”

      “Well, why would—Naturally he wouldn’t say anything yet. Give the man a chance. He’s only known you five days.”

      “I sometimes feel that he was a king in Babylon when I was a Christian slave.”

      “What makes you think that?”

      “I don’t know.”

      “Well, you know best, of course. Very doubtful, I should have said myself. And, anyway, what do you want me to do about it?”

      “Well, you’re a friend of his. You could give him a hint. You could tell him there’s no need for coldness—”

      “It is not coldness. It is delicacy. We men have our code in these matters. We are gentle knights. We—”

      “What utter nonsense! You asked me to marry you after you had known me two weeks.”

      “Ah, but there you were dealing with one of the Wild Woosters.”

      “Well, I can’t see—”

      “Yes?” I said. “Proceed.”

      But she was looking past me at something to the south-east; and, turning, I perceived that we were no longer alone. There, standing in an attitude of respectful courtliness, was Jeeves.

      5

      Bertie Takes Things in Hand

      I nodded affably. I am always debonair.

      “Ah, Jeeves.”

      “Good afternoon, sir.”

      Pauline appeared interested.

      “Is this Jeeves?”

      “This is Jeeves.”

      “So you don’t like Mr Wooster’s banjolele?”

      “No, miss.”

      I preferred that this delicate matter be not discussed.

      “Well, Jeeves? What is it?”

      “Mr Stoker, sir. He is inquiring after Miss Stoker’s whereabouts.”

      “You’d better go,” said I to Pauline.

      “I suppose so. You won’t forget what I said?”

      “Never,” I assured her.

      She went away, and Jeeves and I were alone together in the great solitude.

      “Well, Jeeves.”

      “Sir?”

      “I mean to say, we meet again.”

      “Yes, sir.”

      “I hope you’re getting on all right with Chuffy?”

      “Everything is most pleasant, sir. I trust your new personal attendant is giving satisfaction?”

      “Oh, quite. A wonderful fellow.”

      “I am extremely gratified to hear it, sir.”

      There was a pause.

      “Er, Jeeves,” I said.

      “Sir?”

      “I should rather like, if you have a moment to spare, to split a word with you.”

      “Certainly, sir.”

      “I wish to canvass your views regarding old Chuffy.”

      “Very good, sir.”

      I hesitated no longer.

      “You will agree with me that something’s got to be done about the fifth Baron.”

      “I beg your pardon, sir?”

      “Come, come, Jeeves. You know what I mean as well as I do.”

      “Am I correct in supposing, sir, that you are alluding to his lordship’s feelings towards Miss Stoker?”

      “Exactly.”

      “I am, of course, aware that his lordship is experiencing for the young lady a sentiment deeper and warmer than that of ordinary friendship, sir.”

      “Very well, then. Now, mark this. She, too, loves, Jeeves.”

      “Indeed, sir?”

      “She was telling me so when you came along. And she’s very upset, poor girl. Extremely upset. Her feminine intuition has enabled her to read his secret. She detects the lovelight in his eyes. And what is worrying her is that he does not tell his love. So, he loves her. She loves him. So what’s more? I know Chuffy. A swift performer. Yet now look at him. Why?”

      “His lordship is a gentleman, sir, and he feels that he has not the right to propose marriage to a young lady as wealthy as Miss Stoker.”

      “But, dash it, she isn’t very rich.”

      “No, sir. Mr Stoker’s fortune amounts to as much as fifty million dollars.”

      “What! You’re talking through your hat, Jeeves.”

      “No, sir. I understand that that was the sum which he inherited recently under the will of the late Mr George Stoker.”

      I was stunned.

      “Good Lord, Jeeves! Has Second Cousin George kicked the bucket[52]?”

      “Yes, sir.”

      “And left all his money to old Stoker?”

      “Yes, sir.”

      “Now I see. Now I understand. This explains everything. That yacht in the harbour is his, of course?”

      “Yes, sir.”

      “Well, well, well! But, dash it, George must have had nearer relations.”

      “Yes, sir. I understand that he disliked them all.”

      “You know about him, then?”

      “Yes, sir. I saw his personal attendant when we were in New York. A man named Benstead[53].”

      “He was crazy, wasn’t he?”

      “Certainly extremely eccentric, sir.”

      “Any chance of one of those other relations contesting the will?”

      “I do not imagine so, sir. But in such a case Mr Stoker would rely on Sir Roderick Glossop, of course, to testify that the late Mr Stoker was perfectly sane.”

      “Hm. And unless old Stoker buys the Hall, Chuffy will continue to be the man without a bean. And yet, why, Jeeves? Why all this fuss about money? After all, plenty of poor guys have married rich girls before now.”

      “Yes, sir. But his lordship is a gentleman of peculiar views on this particular matter.”

      Yes, it was quite true. Chuffy is a fellow who has always been odd on the subject of money.

      “It’s difficult,” I said. “One fails for the moment to see the way out. And yet you may be wrong, Jeeves. After all, you’re only guessing.”

      “No, sir. His lordship did me the honour to confide in me.”

      “Really? And how?”

      “Mr Stoker had expressed a wish that I should enter his employment. He approached me in the matter. I informed his lordship. His lordship instructed me to wait.”

      “You can’t mean that he wants you to leave him and go to old Stoker?”

      “No, sir. He was anxious that I should not break off the negotiations with a definite refusal until the sale of Chuffnell Hall had gone through.”

      “I see. He wanted you to keep old Stoker sweetened till he had signed the fatal papers?”

      “Precisely, sir. And

52

kicked the bucket – сыграл в ящик

53

Benstead – Бенстед