The Girl in the Mirror. Cathy Glass

closer. ‘Goodbye, Dad. I’m going now. I’ll see you again tomorrow. I’ll bring Jean with me.’ He paused and looked embarrassed, unsure of what to say or do next. Grandpa gave no acknowledgement, no sign he knew his son was there. ‘Mandy is staying to help look after you,’ he added. ‘Goodbye, Dad.’ He leant over the bed and kissed his father’s forehead. Grandpa’s breathing faltered and then resumed. It was impossible to know if he was aware of his son or not.

      Her father turned to Gran and kissed her cheek, easily, as he always did. ‘Goodbye, Mum. Don’t get up. Take care. Look after each other and I’ll see you tomorrow.’

      ‘Drive carefully, Ray,’ she said, taking hold of his hand. ‘And give my love to Jean.’

      ‘I will.’ He kissed her again and then crossed to Mandy who was waiting by the study door ready to see him out. With a final glance at his father, he nodded to his mother and quickly left the study.

      Mandy walked with him along the hall towards the front of the house.

      ‘Are you sure you’ll be all right, Amanda?’ he said again as they arrived in the reception hall. ‘You know you can change your mind. You don’t have to stay. I can take you home now.’

      She looked at him carefully. ‘Dad, why shouldn’t I be all right? I’m with family. I’m staying to help look after my grandpa.’

      He looked away and left the question unanswered. ‘Well, if you’re sure.’

      ‘Dad, please don’t worry.’ She touched his arm. ‘I’ll be fine, and Evelyn and John desperately need some help. They’re exhausted. If you could get my clothes from the flat that would be great. You’ve got my list and key?’

      He nodded. ‘We’ll stop by on the way tomorrow. You mother will have a better idea of where to find things. I must go to the office in the morning so we should be here late afternoon.’

      ‘OK.’ She kissed his cheek. ‘Text me to say you got home safely.’

      He gave a small laugh. ‘I’ll try.’ She had recently taught him to text but his fingers seemed too big for the tiny buttons and he rarely did so, saying it was easier to phone.

      ‘I’m going now,’ he called to John and Evelyn, and they appeared from the sitting room.

      ‘Safe journey,’ John said.

      Her father shook John’s hand and then kissed his sister’s cheek – his previous awkwardness slightly eased by the time spent with her. Saying goodbye, John and Evelyn made their way back down the hall, leaving Mandy to see her father off. He opened the front door and Mandy folded her arms against the cool evening air. She watched him cross the drive towards the car. The sky was only just beginning to darken as the days were lengthening towards spring. He pointed the remote at the car; the locks flew up and the interior light went on. He paused before getting in and looked back to give a little wave. ‘Take care, love,’ he called. ‘See you tomorrow.’

      ‘Yes.’ She smiled and waved too.

      She watched him climb into the car and the door close. The interior light faded and went out. The engine started and the tyres crunched over the gravel as the car slowly moved forward, round the curve of the carriage drive and towards her. As the car drew level her father ducked his head and peered through the side window to give another little wave. She waved back. He continued past and her gaze fell on the rear of the car as it slowly pulled away. Then in the half-light of dusk something strange happened which froze her to the spot. As she watched the receding car, the shadowy outline of a girl appeared in the rear window. The child turned to look at her and their eyes met. She was about twelve and her long fair hair was tied in a ponytail. Tears stained her cheeks and her face was creased in sorrow. Mandy knew instinctively the girl was frightened and needed help but she also knew there was nothing she could do to save her. She stared after the car with an overwhelming sense of despair as it continued down the drive, and away from her. The image of the girl faded and then vanished.

       Eight

      Mandy stayed where she was, staring at the now empty drive. The air was still and the door to the house stood open behind her. Her heart was racing and her mouth was dry. It must have been a trick of the eye, she said, trying to calm herself, an illusion in the twilight. Of course there wasn’t a girl in the back of your father’s car. Don’t be ridiculous. You’re worried about Grandpa, and tired – it was nothing more than your imagination.

      So, as a child accepts its mother’s reassurance that there is nothing lurking under the bed while not wholly convinced, Mandy turned from the drive and went into the welcoming warmth and light of her aunt’s house.

      ‘How would you feel about staying up with me tonight?’ John asked as she entered the study. He was in one of the pair of leather armchairs with his laptop open on his knees; Gran was in her usual chair by the bed. ‘Evelyn could do with a night’s sleep,’ he added.

      ‘Yes,’ Mandy said, and sat in the chair next to Gran at the side of the bed.

      ‘Only if you want to,’ John said. ‘You don’t have to. There’s a bed ready upstairs otherwise.’

      ‘No, it’s fine, really,’ she reassured him, and looked at Grandpa. Now the medicine had taken effect and he was sleeping comfortably, she could enjoy her time with him; they all could. One of his hands jutted from beneath the bedclothes and Gran was stroking it tenderly. ‘Was your dad all right?’ she asked after a moment.

      Mandy nodded. ‘He’s going to text when he gets home. Oh,’ she said, suddenly realizing, ‘I’ve forgotten to tell Adam where I am.’

      ‘Best phone him now,’ Gran smiled. She’d met Adam many times and liked him.

      Mandy stood, retrieved her handbag from where she’d dumped it in the corner of the study and took out her mobile. There were five texts: two from Adam as well as a missed call from him. ‘I won’t be long,’ she said, and left the study.

      Going a little way along the hall, she pressed Adam’s number and he answered immediately. ‘Are you OK, Mandy?’ he asked, concerned. ‘Wherever have you been?’

      ‘Sorry. I’ve had my phone on silent all day. I’m at my aunt’s in Cambridgeshire. Grandpa’s very ill.’ She then explained what had happened since her father had come to her flat early that morning. Adam sympathized; his pique of the night before had gone.

      ‘If there is anything I can do, promise me you’ll phone,’ he said kindly. ‘I know what you’re going through.’ His own grandfather had died the year before.

      ‘Thanks,’ she said, touched by his sensitivity and reminded of what she stood to lose. ‘And sorry again about last night.’

      ‘No problem. Take care.’

      When they’d finished the call she texted him: Luv u, which she knew she needed to start showing more as well as saying.

      Returning to the study, Mandy sat next to Gran and replied to the other texts, from friends. She sent the same message to all three: Stayin at my aunts. grandpa ill. will fone on return. Leaving her mobile on silent, she dropped it into her bag and took out her iPod. Gran was dozing now and John was still working on his laptop. She plugged in her earpieces and gazed at Grandpa. He was still relatively peaceful. Occasionally his arm jerked, or a muscle twitched in his face, giving the impression he was frowning, but there was no sign of the shocking pain that had engulfed him during the afternoon. Perhaps the nurse had changed the medication, or given him a stronger dose of morphine? She hoped so, for as her father had said no one should have to suffer in this day and age. Her iPod was playing a Michael Jackson ballad, ‘Will You Be There’, and in the now calm atmosphere of the study with Grandpa sleeping peacefully, there was something almost perfect, almost ethereal in the love she felt for him, and she was so very pleased she’d stayed to help.