The Empire State Cat’s Christmas Gift. Nic Tatano

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Название The Empire State Cat’s Christmas Gift
Автор произведения Nic Tatano
Жанр Зарубежный юмор
Серия
Издательство Зарубежный юмор
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9780008200664



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shook his head. “I’m single.”

      “Never married?”

      “Nope. Never even came close to finding Miss Right.”

      “Kids?”

      “I’ve never been married.”

      “That doesn’t stop your generation.”

      “True. I’m old-fashioned in that respect.”

      “Well, nice lookin’ guy like you in an expensive suit must have women bangin’ down the door. I can understand why you wouldn’t wanna be attached when you can play the field.”

      “If only, Benny. Haven’t had a decent girlfriend in years. I’ve, uh, been kinda married to my job. Which hasn’t helped.”

      Benny sat on his stool and folded his arms. “Really? You don’t seem like that type. I’m surprised. There’s more to life than work, you know.”

      “Yeah, I’m starting to realize that. As for women, well, the stars never aligned. It seems the women I’m attracted to aren’t interested in me, and vice versa.”

      “So what’s your type? Blonde, brunette, or redhead?”

      “Hair color doesn’t matter. I like professional women who are incredibly smart and have a lot of spunk. I really don’t like party girls.” He pointed at Benny’s hand which featured a nicked silver ring. “I see you’ve found Miss Right, and from the looks of that ring you found her a while ago.”

      “Thirty years. Best thing that ever happened to me.”

      Spencer leaned against a light pole as he sipped his coffee. “So what’s the secret of staying married so long in this day and age?”

      “Respect. Never take your wife for granted. And don’t stop dating after you get married.”

      Spencer’s eyes widened. “You have affairs, Benny?”

      “Hell, no. I meant you still take your wife out on dates. We go out to dinner and a movie every Saturday night. I still open doors for her, bring her a rose now and then, little stuff that says I love you without the words. Just because you’re spending the rest of your life together doesn’t mean the courtship ends. Too many couples start out as lovers and end up as roommates. And a lot of couples from your generation end up divorced.”

      “You’re a wise man, Benny.” His cell rang and he pulled it from his pocket. “Well, excuse me, gotta go. Enjoy the beautiful day.”

      “You should take some time to do the same, Spence.”

      *

      Tish jogged across the street and noted her watch read seven-twenty-nine. If the white knight was always there between seven-thirty and eight, she wanted to be early.

      Benny shrugged at her and put his palms up as she walked toward the cart. “You just missed him again.”

      She shook her head. “You said he’s here between seven-thirty and eight.”

      “He was early today, what can I say?”

      “I’ll keep trying.”

      “Well, Tish from the hotel, this is not to say your trip was totally in vain. I did manage to acquire some information about the gentleman that may interest you.”

      Her eyes widened as she perked up. “Really? What’d you get?”

      “You want orange juice?”

      “Yeah. So what’d you get?”

      He handed her a bottle. “Not married. Never been married. So no baggage to check.”

      “Well, that’s half the battle. You get anything else?”

      “Do I look like an amateur?”

      “No. C’mon, c’mon, what else you got?

      Benny shot her a sly grin. “No girlfriend.”

      “And there’s the other half of a perfect answer.” She couldn’t hold back a smile. “I’m honestly very surprised.”

      “I was too. He mentioned that the women he’s interested in never feel the same about him. And something about the stars not aligning for him yet.”

      “So there’s hope for me.”

      “Well, that depends.”

      “On what?”

      “If your stars and his stars are in the same constellation.”

      “What, you’re into astrology?”

      “No, I meant if you’re his type.”

      She nodded. “So you actually found out what kind of women he finds attractive?”

      “Young lady, you give Benny a chance to play matchmaker, he will not disappoint. I’m better than a Jewish mother, even though I’m an Irish father. By the end of the week I’ll have a complete dossier in your hands with all his likes and dislikes.”

      “Yeah, yeah, so what’s he lookin’ for? C’mon, dish.”

      “You’re such an impatient little thing.”

      “I’m not exactly little.”

      “Well, you’re a helluva lot better looking than that bag-o-bones supermodel who drops by every day and has Diet Coke and cigarettes for lunch.”

      “Thank you, but we’re getting off track, Benny. So what’s his type?”

      “I started by asking him if he liked blondes, brunettes or redheads and he said hair color didn’t matter. He’s a head man.”

      Her eyes went wide. “Excuse me? If he’s looking for a girl to spend all her time on her knees—”

      “I didn’t mean that! Geez, your mind is in the gutter!” He tapped his head. “I meant he wants a woman with a great head on her shoulders. A guy might be a leg man, a boob man…or in this case a head man. You get what I’m sayin’?”

      “Never heard it put quite that way. You might want to retire that particular designation, especially when talking to a woman.”

      “Yeah, I guess you could take it the wrong way. Anyway, what Spence from the block wants is a professional woman who is really smart and spunky.” Benny studied her face. “I don’t know you well enough to tell if you fit the bill, but you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders. Already know you have an attitude.”

      “Very funny.”

      “I meant that as a compliment.”

      “Nice save, Mister. Anything else?”

      “He got a call while we were talking and had to take off.”

      “That seems to happen with him. Well, you still cleared up a lot, Benny. Thank you. I appreciate it.”

      “So now that you know he’s unattached, does that change your strategy?”

      “It just gives me hope. I still need to meet the guy.”

      “I think you need a different approach.”

      “How so?”

      “He said he likes professional women. So when you show up here, don’t do it in a jogging outfit.”

      She nodded. “Point taken.”

      “What do you do for a living?”

      “Lawyer.”

      “So you must have nice clothes.”

      “I do.”

      “So, see you tomorrow, Tish from the hotel? All dolled up?”

      “Not