The Empire State Cat’s Christmas Gift. Nic Tatano

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Название The Empire State Cat’s Christmas Gift
Автор произведения Nic Tatano
Жанр Зарубежный юмор
Серия
Издательство Зарубежный юмор
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9780008200664



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      She held up the cat. “Because of this little fur baby. Earlier this week my house was struck by lightning and caught fire. The smoke alarm never went off. I’m a very heavy sleeper but Socks obviously knew something was wrong. She jumped on me and woke me up. Once I realized the house was on fire I grabbed her and headed out the door. And about thirty seconds later the storm knocked over a huge tree that crushed my bedroom. Without my cat waking me up I’d be dead from the fire, the tree or both.”

      “That’s an incredible story,” said the anchor. “Now our viewers have met you and Socks before as the cat is from reporter Madison Shaw’s famous litter of orphaned kittens. Can you tell us why you chose this particular cat to adopt?”

      “I needed a smoke alarm.” She saw the anchor laugh in the monitor. “No, seriously, she’s a sweet cat and since I’m kind of a formal person and Socks looks like she’s wearing a tuxedo, I thought we were a good match. But actually, she chose me rather than the other way around. A cat chooses its person, you know. Humans really have no say in the matter.”

      “I didn’t know that about cats. And I assume she has been rewarded for her heroism.”

      “Oh, she’ll never be without her favorite cat treats. And she absolutely goes wild over salmon. I have to share it with her whenever I have it for dinner.”

      “Is Socks your first cat?”

      “The first in several years. We had cats when I was a kid but I haven’t had a pet since I got out of college. I’d forgotten how much I enjoyed having one around and this cat is a wonderful companion since I live alone.”

      “We all know how the experience taking care of the kittens changed Madison, so what has sharing your life with a cat done for you?”

      “Well, it’s very special getting unconditional love from an animal. And cats are very perceptive creatures. This one seems to know when I’m down, and to be honest this has been a very stressful week. It’s been great having her to help me get through this ordeal. She seems to know that I’m the one needing extra attention.” Tish smiled lovingly as Socks nuzzled her hand and purred.

      *

      Spencer was half asleep as he carried his coffee and the morning paper to the den. He plopped down in a reclining chair, placed his coffee on the end table and unfolded the paper in his lap, then turned on the television. He was bleary-eyed and barely paying attention as the screen cleared, revealing a woman holding a cat. The bottom of the screen read Cat Saves Owner’s Life From Fire.

      “And remember, a home without a cat is just a house,” said the woman. “So go to a shelter and adopt one today.”

      “Words to live by from a cat owner,” said the anchor, as the story ended.

      Spencer began to nod, his thoughts going to the little cat that had visited him in his office. He realized he missed seeing the kitty on the weekend. “Yeah, I need to get a cat once things slow down. It’s too damn quiet around here.”

      He turned back to his newspaper, not having noticed anything in particular about the cat on television or the owner.

       *

      Spencer was greeted by several looks of surprise as he walked into the annual law school cocktail party on Saturday night.

      “Whoa, look who’s here!” His old study buddy Jim Hartselle quickly moved in his direction, hand extended.

      Spencer shook his hand. “Hey, Jim, how’ve you been?”

      The tall, lanky lawyer nodded. “Doing well. Still working for the Governor in Albany and fighting politicians at every turn. Not wild about the upstate winters which never seem to end but it’s a cool job. Wow, I never expected to see you here. Is this the first time you’ve made it to one of these?”

      “Yep. Figured I’d check on you and some of the others.”

      “Well, good to see you after all these years. So what are you doing?”

      “I’m partner in a two-person firm in Manhattan. Things are going very well.”

      “Good to hear. I’m in town from time to time so we’ll have to get together for lunch.”

      “Sounds good.” Spencer looked around. “So who’s here from our old gang?”

      “Most of the midnight oil study group. Denise, Frank, Carrie. They’re over at the bar. C’mon. I know they’d love to see you.”

      Spencer kept looking around the room as the group shared stories at a table but he didn’t see Tish McKenna. “Hey, does our class valedictorian ever show up at these things?”

      Everyone laughed as Jim shook his head. “Seriously, Spence? Mrs. Spock? She had no friends in school, why would she ever come to a reunion? Who would she reunite with? A law book?”

      He shrugged. “Y’know, people change.”

      “Who cares? And not sure she could change her personality since you need one to start with,” said Denise, a corporate attorney. “I mean, talk about a cold fish. I invited her for lunch once and she blew me off. Said she couldn’t spare the time and had to study. Maybe that’s why she was valedictorian. Personally I’d rather have friends than that designation.”

      “Wonder what ever happened to her,” said Frank.

      “I saw her in court the other day,” said Spencer. “The woman was amazing. She absolutely destroyed a witness. By the way, you wouldn’t even recognize her. Looks very professional now. I was shocked when I found out she was that frumpy girl in our class.”

      “Someone in my firm went up against her awhile back,” said Denise. “She wiped the floor with him.”

      Carrie nodded. “I had a trial against her last year. I thought my case was a slam dunk but the woman kicked my ass. I mean, I’ll be honest, I didn’t know what hit me, and I was well prepared. She’s a damn chess player. It was like she was three steps ahead of me the whole time. Cited a whole bunch of obscure cases and I found myself painted into a corner. Oh, she’s no longer Mrs. Spock. She’s got a new nickname around the courthouse.”

      “What’s that?” asked Spencer.

      “Jaws.”

      “Why Jaws?”

      “Because a tough lawyer is a shark and she’s the deadliest shark in the ocean. Just like in the movie. The bailiff said when she walks into the courtroom you can almost hear the theme music.”

      *

      Tish actually felt like some sort of stalker, but her friends had insisted she at least try to run into the cute white knight. But she had to know if the guy was attached. Men like that didn’t grow on trees.

      She decided to look her best without going overboard. While she wouldn’t go so far as to put on makeup to go running, she did at least pick up a new pair of sweats, a cute red sweatshirt with the hotel logo and a Mets baseball cap. Bright sunshine and a cool breeze greeted her as she headed out of the hotel lobby on Tuesday morning, early enough that she could hang around for a while if he was there. She spotted the drink cart across the street and headed for it.

      No white knight in sight.

      Still, she might be able to find out who he was or if he was a regular.

      The guy running the cart looked up and smiled as she approached. “Morning, young lady, what can I get for you?”

      “Some orange juice, please.”

      He handed her a container and she paid for it. “Hey, by any chance do you remember me from last week?”

      He studied her face and smiled. “Though I am a happily married man I’m not dead. I do tend to remember the pretty women. You’re the one who forgot her cash.”

      “Right. And there was a guy in an expensive