Your First Grandchild: Useful, touching and hilarious guide for first-time grandparents. Paul Greenwood

The only one good thing about the distance between us was that our visits were always treated as a great event and Tracy never took us for granted.’

       Paul Writes

      I was 16 when my brother was born and very often I was the only person who could get him to sleep. I would walk up and down with him snuggled into my shoulder and find myself repeating the chant my father had soothed us with when we were young. He was Scottish and he used to murmur. ‘Shoo-shuggy, shoo-shuggy. shoo-shuggy … ’ When Peggy brought Sky home from the hospital, my putting-babies-to-sleep skills were again in demand. I was actually feeling quite stressed at the time because I had an important first night approaching. As I rocked this new baby in my arms and repeated my father’s mantra of ‘Shoo-shuggy’, I felt myself relax. When my grandson’s eyelashes began to droop and his breathing steadied into a quiet rhythm. I found myself as calm as he was. It is very satisfying to help a baby go to sleep.

       Help! He Won’t Stop Crying – a Grandparents’ Checklist

       Pick him up, cuddle him and gently rock him over your shoulder as you walk about the room. Talk gently to him or sing to him to soothe him. Still crying? Could it be that he is:

       hungry?

       tired?

       wet or dirty?

       too hot or cold?

       uncomfortable – might, for instance, the nappy tabs be chafing his legs?

       missing Mummy or Daddy?

       bored?

       in pain?

       ill?

       Once you have offered food, changed the nappy, removed or added a layer of clothing, offered stimulation, the chance to sleep or whatever else you think the baby needs, the crying should stop. But if it doesn’t, don’t panic – it’s very unlikely to be anything serious. Try playing the baby some music, strapping on the sling (if your back will take it) and walking about, or even – a famous last resort – taking him for a drive in his car seat. After about half an hour of crying, though, it’s usually best to contact the parents – if you can. They may have the answer or may at least come to relieve you! But if they are not available and you are concerned that the child might be ill, don’t hesitate to call the baby’s or your own doctor.

      Close Encounters (with Nappies)

      The first time you change the nappy of this tiny new baby, you may feel a little nervous because the chances are that you won’t have encountered disposables before. Although fabric nappies are being used again to an extent, most parents still prefer disposables.

      

      You may also have the eagle-eyed young parents watching your every move to see that you do it right. Try to take any helpful advice with equanimity. ‘No, Dad, not like that! You’re putting it on back to front’ – ‘Mother! Watch out! He’s peeing all over you!’ Such remarks are just part and parcel of the re-learning experience.

       Tricks of the Nappy-changing Trade

       To put the changing mat on the floor is probably best because then there is no risk of the baby falling, though you may prefer to use a changing table (in which case, don’t turn your back for a second – even with a new, supposedly helpless baby).

       You will need:

       a clean nappy

       a nappy-sack to receive the soiled nappy

       a bowl of warm (but not hot) water

       cream

       cotton wool

       tissues or kitchen-roll

       a toy for the baby to look at or hold

       What to Do:

       1 Get the above ready and in easy reach before you begin.

       2 Lie the baby on the mat, talk gently or sing and give it a toy to look at or hold.

       3 Undo the tabs of the soiled nappy, one at a time, being careful still to hold the front of the nappy over the baby’s genital area (babies will often pee at this moment – and boys can get you in the eye).

       4 Now fold the front of the nappy under the baby’s bottom, covering up the wet or soiled area. Alternatively, you may want to remove the nappy entirely and put a piece of clean kitchen roll under the baby’s bottom.

       5 Moisten the cotton wool and wipe gently all over the tummy area and leg creases. Use clean pieces as necessary. With a boy, now wipe over and under the penis and scrotum. With a girl, always wipe from front to back, using a fresh piece of cotton wool if you have to wipe the front again. There is no need to part the labial folds – just wipe carefully over them. (Don’t worry, it will all come back to you, unless of course you didn’t do it first time around, grandpas!)