A Mind of Your Own. Betty Shine

then do so, but be big enough to handle it in as dignified a manner as possible. If, on the other hand, you know that it could wreck someone’s life, then delay the confession or discuss it first with a counsellor or your priest. Never confess on the spur of the moment.

       Affirmation: I must think through the consequences before I make a move.

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       Conscience

       Labour to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire, called conscience.

      GEORGE WASHINGTON

      1732–1799

      IT IS OUR SPIRITUALITY or higher mind that dictates how we behave. I have known many people who have had no conscience at all, and who have destroyed everything and everyone in their path while still believing that they were spiritual. Conversely, I have known others who have had so much conscience that they imprisoned themselves with guilt, making their lives a complete misery.

      Common sense combined with a healthy conscience is a good balance, resulting in a state, if achieved, that enhances not only our lives but the lives of others.

       Visualisation: You are being shown around a grand house when your host is called away. Left alone with a display of small but valuable trinkets, you have a sudden urge to own one of these pieces. You have never stolen before, but decide that as your host is very rich he will not miss it. Whilst you are turning a particularly beautiful piece in your hand, the lady of the house arrives. Introducing herself, she says, ‘I see that you have fine taste. These pieces were given to me by my great-grandmother and are very special to us. They were given to her for her valour during the First World War. She saved many lives working as a nurse on the front line.’ You feel mortified and, making your excuses, leave.

       Temptation is never very far away. But is it really worth giving into it, when you’ll have it on your conscience for the rest of your life?

       Those of you who have no conscience must become aware at some time that something very special is missing from your life. There is no amount of money or possessions that can buy you peace of mind, and without it, you will never be happy or healthy, for sooner or later you will have to pay the price. Looking on the positive side, there is always time to change. It is never too late.

       Affirmation: I must heed my conscience at all times.

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       Conversation

       Tomorrow a stranger will say with masterly good sense precisely what we have thought and felt all the time, and we shall be forced to take with shame our own opinion from another.

      RALPH WALDO EMERSON

      1803–1882

      I LOVE THIS QUOTATION because it describes exactly that feeling of frustration you get when someone voices the thoughts you have had but have never expressed. It’s made worse if they then receive compliments on their perception.

      Everyone has interesting thoughts but there are people who are shy and cannot open up a conversation, fearful that they might look or sound stupid. Don’t worry! If you have never been made to feel stupid then there is something radically wrong, because it shows a very sombre, staid and boring personality.

      The art of good conversation is to open your mouth and talk. It really doesn’t matter what subject you begin with, just get in there and become part of the action. If someone has a pretty brooch on their dress, compliment them on their choice. If it is a man, admire his tie – even if you don’t like it, he does. Make him feel good about it. Compliments are great for bringing the feel-good factor into any gathering.

      You may have a particular interest of your own, so talk about it. Give your companions some idea of what your daily life is like. You do not have to be ultra-intelligent, young, slim or glamorous to be entertaining. And smile! People are always attracted to others who bring some sunshine into their ordinary lives. When you are with other people always put some input into the conversation, otherwise it is left to one or two to carry the whole. Also you will not feel a drag.

       Visualisation: You have spent the whole evening choosing the right clothes and accessories. When you arrive at your destination and begin to mix, you are aware that some guests are standing about looking bored and others are in earnest conversation. Walk up to the bored individuals, say hello and tell them how happy you feel to have been invited (even if you’re lying – a white lie now and then can be forgiven if it’s in a good cause). Talk to them. Bring some life into their lives. Your hosts will be forever grateful. There is nothing worse than a gathering in which some guests talk non-stop and others won’t talk at all. And while you are doing your bit, you’ll probably enjoy it.

       Affirmation: Smile, speak, listen.

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       Criticism

       I do not resent criticism, even when, for the sake of emphasis, it parts for the time with reality.

      WINSTON CHURCHILL

      1874–1965

      CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM can plant a seed that, when nurtured, can bring about a transformation in our chosen career or hobbies. But negative criticism creates an aura of bitterness and resentment that can linger with us for ever. This is unforgivable, and can lead only to unhappiness and despair.

      I have seen mediocre performances in the theatre blossom when sympathetic criticism had been given. The fact that someone cared had lifted the spirit and fired the imagination.

       Visualisation: Having joined an advanced art class, you have just finished a picture and are sitting back trying to judge it objectively. Along comes the teacher, who takes one look and tells you that, in his opinion, it is a mess. He suggests that you tear it up and start again with a clean canvas. Totally humiliated, you try to do as he asks, but the hurt is deep and your mind is clouded. You are now incapable of the most simple task. You leave – with your painting.

       You join a new art class. When the teacher looks at the painting, he tells you that he is most impressed with the unique way in which you use your imagination. He suggests that perhaps with a little discipline it could be so much better. You are inspired by his words and, after studying the picture, can see how creative his suggestions could be. As the images flow through your mind your brush works at the canvas and you know that something wonderful is going to happen. What a change those few words have made – so different from the first negative experience.

       In this exercise, the reason for taking the picture away from the first class is to show that someone might eventually see your creation as a work of art. In this life, everything is so subjective.

       You can change this exercise to suit your own career or hobby. The imagination has no boundaries and is the life-blood for the genius.

       Whilst you were visualising, you could probably feel the pain and the joy caused by the contrasting criticisms. Remember that feeling when you are about to criticise others.

       Affirmation: I am open to constructive criticism, but closed to negativity.

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