How to Stand Out. Yeung Rob

course there are many books written by consultants. But I hope I’m different from most. I completed a PhD in psychology. So I spent three solid years of doctoral research reading scientific paper after scientific paper as well as getting a few of my own research articles published in technical journals.

      We need to have proof about what works and what doesn’t.

      The main thing I learnt was the importance of systematic evidence. That we need to have proof about what works and what doesn’t when it comes to recommending practices and interventions that affect people’s lives.

      Scientists have long understood that there is something called a “placebo effect”. In medical trials, doctors have discovered they can give patients a sham treatment – such as a pill containing nothing more than common household sugar – and yet some patients will feel better.

      As a result, any pharmaceutical company wishing to launch a new drug has to prove it has genuine effects over and above those of a sham treatment. In a carefully controlled experiment, some patients are given the new drug while other patients are given the sham treatment. After perhaps weeks, months or even years, researchers then measure the symptoms of those given the drug (the experimental group) against the symptoms of those given the sham treatment (the control group). Only if those in the experimental group have improved significantly more than those in the control group can the drug be considered a success.

      The same test can be applied to the recommendations and rituals proposed by corporate consultants, life coaches and other alleged advisers. After all, if they say that they can change your life, shouldn’t they be able to prove it?

      For example, suppose you meet a friend of a friend at a party. She says that she is a hypnototherapist. It’s not just standard old hypnotherapy, she explains. Hypnototherapy is a fantastic new technique which can deliver astonishing results in only a handful of hours. She says that she can hypnotize you into becoming more confident, more engaging and more credible in both your professional and personal life.

      She says that it will only take three sessions. And that each session will cost £100.

      You pay up. You go along to get hypnotized. And afterwards you feel pretty positive about yourself. But did it really work? Or was it merely a sham treatment which triggered some kind of placebo effect in you? Would you perhaps have been better off spending your £300 and three hours of your time on some other form of coaching or reading books or even just sitting quietly and making plans by yourself, for instance?

      In my work as an organizational psychologist, I’m a sceptic. I’m wary of gurus and advisers who claim that they can work miracles. Before recommending anything, I like to have proof. I like to read a research journal and know that a reputable group of scientists at a top university or business school has actually done a study to see what genuinely helped people. So rather than simply telling people what I feel has worked for me personally, I try as far as possible to recommend only techniques that have been revealed by researchers to work for most everyone.

      Navigating through this book

      So in this book I present you with proven techniques, exercises and advice. I’ll show you how psychologists, economists and other scientific sleuths worked out what works and what doesn’t. I’ll walk you through some of their studies and include detailed references at the end of the book if you wish to follow up further.

      We’ll look at some of these principles and recommendations in action too. In my work as an organizational psychologist, I encounter countless fascinating and remarkable people. I work with business owners running multi-million-pound businesses, superstar salespeople and award-winning television producers. Women and men who have made a difference and who, well, stand out. And I’m grateful that many of them have imparted their stories in this very book.

      Most of these people kindly allowed me to use their real names and talk about the businesses where they work. A few asked me to alter a few identifying details to preserve their anonymity. But all have shared their triumphs, their mistakes and the lessons they’ve learnt along the way. And by hearing their real-life stories, I hope you will be inspired to try out the techniques within this book too.

      What exactly is covered in the book? Allow me to give you an overview by sharing with you a picture. When I’m running workshops, I frequently put up a slide that I call the “influence iceberg”. Often, we describe standout people as having charisma or influence. We say that they make an impact, that they possess charm or presence. And these form the tip of the iceberg, the visible part.

      Beneath the surface, we can’t see the many, many pieces that make up standout individuals. But make no mistake: there are many parts indeed that can be analysed, understood and learnt – and it is these that we will be scrutinizing in this book.

      I’ve structured the book into four main chapters and a conclusion. Here’s what’s in each and why.

      Chapter 1: Boosting Self-belief and Debunking the Confidence Con

      We’ll start in Chapter 1 on the topic of self-belief. It may sound obvious to say that in order for others to believe in you, you need to believe in yourself. You can’t stand out and impress the world unless you have a fairly decent opinion of yourself, right?

      Not necessarily. It turns out that the truth is more complex than that. Many standout people actually don’t have bucket loads of confidence and I’ll tell you some of their surprising stories: a sales manager who hates selling, a business founder wracked by self-doubt, a public relations guru who fears public speaking. However, they all appear to be confident, accomplished individuals. They seem as if they are able to do great things; and that outward demeanour is often enough to carry them through to great things. So in Chapter 1 we will explore this seeming contradiction – what I call the confidence con – and delve into the secret psychology of becoming more confident.

      Many standout people actually don’t have bucket loads of confidence.

      But allow me to jump ahead for a moment to the good news: there are proven mental manoeuvres that we can all use to feel more confident – some of which take only seconds to put into practice. Yes, you read that right. Whether at work or play, there are things we can do ever so quickly that can help us to appear more professional, capable and persuasive to those around us.

      Chapter 2: Persuading through Body Language and Nonverbal Communication

      You can sometimes spot standout individuals even before they’ve opened their mouths to speak. There’s definitely something about their stance, the way they move, the way they lock eyes with people around them. So in Chapter 2, we will examine the psychology of nonverbal communication. Body language encompasses how we move our bodies and use our hands as well as our facial expressions. But nonverbal communication is body language plus everything about our voices – such as our pacing, loudness and pitch.

      When it comes to making an impact, should we speak quickly or slowly? If our aim is to appear more charismatic, should we gesture with our hands more or less? Or is it the type of gestures that make the difference? These questions – and more – will be tackled in this chapter.

      A lot has been written about body language which is frankly rubbish.

      A lot has been written about body language which is frankly rubbish. So I’ll tell you about some of the most recent findings by scientists at the forefront of this field. And we’ll learn that even turning your hands palms up or palms down can have different effects on the people around you.

      Chapter 3: Winning with Words

      In our third chapter, we’ll continue our journey by looking at the words, phrases and other verbal tricks that standout people use to make themselves unforgettable and persuasive. What do superstar