Workplace Conflict Resolution Essentials For Dummies. Scott Vivian

Plan for smaller details, like exactly how you’ll organise small group work and handle hecklers.

      In Chapter 10, I discuss how to resolve conflict when larger groups are involved.

      

Following up and monitoring the situation takes some attention on your part. Look for signs of decreased tension and increases in work quality and quantity so that you can get out of the referee role and back into the position of managing the business you were hired to direct.

      Tapping into Conflict Resolution Expertise

      You don’t have to go it alone when addressing conflict. And you don’t need to jump in and attack the situation without first looking at the tools available to you. Create a customised approach by looking at what’s already in place and then how to augment that with a little help from your friends.

      The human resources (HR) department is an obvious place to start when you begin your search for advice and insight about a conflict. These personnel professionals can help you investigate an employee’s work history and interpret company policy or employment law. They often lend a hand with customised trainings and can identify employee assistance programs such as counselling and addiction specialists.

      

They can also point you to other entities that may be able to help, including

      

Internal mediators and counsellors: Common in large organisations and government agencies, internal mediators (also known as shared neutrals or internal commissioners) are individuals selected from different departments with various levels of authority. They’re trained in mediation and are brought together to purposely create a diverse group perspective. Counsellors are usually employees in a company who provide a safe place to talk, vent and explore ideas.

      

Conflict resolution specialists and statutory authorities: External conflict resolution specialists may be required if you can’t resolve the conflict internally. Statutory bodies such as the Fair Work Commission or Employment Relations Authority provide opportunities for mediation for individuals who believe workplace rights and entitlements under applicable laws have been breached.

      

Unions: If your company has a relationship with a union, you can always tap into its strength and problem-solving expertise.

      Flip to Chapter 11 for more about internal resources you may be able to utilise in a conflict.

Chapter 2

      Understanding What People Bring to Conflict

       In This Chapter

      

Reviewing communication

      

Understanding the individual’s perspective

      

Shedding light on emotions

      

Addressing common responses to conflict

      Each person in your workplace is a complex system of past experiences, beliefs, values, opinions and emotions. Each has different ways of communicating, processing the things around him or her, and handling conflict.

      This chapter helps you gain a better insight into the people on your team – why they see things the way they do, why they react to different people in different ways, and how their emotions can complicate the whole situation. You can start to understand how your colleagues’ personal beliefs and attributes contribute to the team dynamic and sometimes contribute to conflict (which is normal, natural and inevitable, by the way) so that you can build better working relationships and a more productive working environment. You’ll see the broader foundation of conflict and be more prepared to proactively reduce and perhaps prevent it.

      Rediscovering Communication

      Good communication is the hallmark of a productive working relationship. Easier said than done, right? Even when you believe you’re being crystal clear, it’s possible that the other person doesn’t understand what you’re really trying to say. This happens for a variety of reasons, including differences in goals, misunderstandings with language, ambiguous body language and misinterpretations of tone of voice.

Changing the goal of communication

      

In conflict, goals for communication often turn destructive. If someone in your group enters into a conversation for the sole purpose of proving that she’s right, making the other person feel bad or establishing that the other person is an incompetent fool, the conflict is likely to get worse.

      Reaching agreement is commonly thought of as the goal of communication, but this misconception is often one of the most unnecessary causes of conflicts. Instead, focus on creating understanding – and understanding doesn’t mean agreeing. It isn’t necessary for the two people in conflict to see eye to eye and walk away holding hands, but it’s helpful if they can talk to each other respectfully, feel heard by each other, and gain a greater understanding of the situation and the other person.

      The old cliché ‘agree to disagree’ may be coming to mind. In a way, this saying is both accurate and inaccurate. The two people in the conflict may end their discussion on this note, and that’s fine as long as they both put forth a 100-per-cent effort to listen and understand each other. Unfortunately, most people use this saying as a quick way to end a conversation. They’re tired of trying to talk with the other person so they agree to disagree as a polite way of brushing off the other person. That’s not what striving for understanding is about.

      Ultimately, if two people have a real and productive conversation where they both listen and feel heard, they’ll probably find more in common with each other and find more points to agree on. Changing the goal of communication is a new way to think about it and, even if you’re not directly involved in the conflict, if you shift your thinking, you’ll have a head start on working with employees to solve their issues.

Choosing words carefully: The importance of language

      One of the most common contributors to miscommunication is language. The words you use can lead to misinterpretations and negative reactions, either because you choose words that don’t accurately express what you’re trying to say or you use words that the listener finds inappropriate or insulting. In some cases, the miscommunication is simply a matter of semantics (the meaning and interpretation of words).

       Making sure you’re on the same page

      Words are slippery things, and the same word can have different meanings for different people. The best ways to avoid misunderstandings are to be specific and to get creative. Take more time in a conversation, choose your words carefully and ask clarifying questions. If you suspect semantics are getting in the way, take a moment to define the word in question. State what that word means to you, and ask the other person what it means to her. This clarification could shed light on the disagreement.

      When starting a conversation, try to avoid misunderstandings by giving thought to what information you’re trying to relay or gather, and then formulate a statement or question that meets that goal. For example, asking a colleague to respect you isn’t as clear as asking her to respect you by not playing practical jokes on you. Telling your boss that you want time off isn’t as clear as requesting leave for the week of 1 January.

      

You can also get creative and find other ways to get your message across. If words are keeping people from a shared understanding, try a different