Workplace Conflict Resolution Essentials For Dummies. Scott Vivian

dynamics contribute to conflict, and you’re ready to mediate a problem between two or more people, head straight to Chapter 6 and follow through to Chapter 10.

      Finally, if you feel you may be in over your head and you’d like to find out more about how to enlist the help of an expert, check out Chapter 11 to see what your company may be able to do.

      Although this book is designed so that you can start anywhere, don’t feel obligated to jump around. If you’re a traditionalist who likes to read every book from cover to cover, just turn the page!

Five Things You Can Control When in an Unresolved Conflict

      

Your plan for the future: Consider what’s important to you and follow a strategy for a period of time that feels comfortable. Knowing what you want your future to look like helps you look past the current situation and focus beyond temporary problems.

      

Your perspective: Instead of staying wrapped up in a conflict, ask yourself whether you can find a learning opportunity somewhere in the situation. Or maybe if you purposefully and mindfully examine what’s going on, you can honestly say, in the scope of things, the disagreements aren’t really that important to you.

      

Your responses: You can’t control someone else’s actions, thoughts or feelings. But you can control how you react to what’s happening, and look for ways to respond to hot button topics that won’t escalate your anxiety or your anger.

      

Your investment: In trying to control everything, you lose your ability to control anything! Instead, try to reduce your investment in the drama. Spend less time thinking about it, talking about it and engaging in it.

      

Your role in the conflict: Step outside of your thoughts and feelings and consider how your actions and reactions look to others. Consider the impact of your actions, and honestly identify your role in the conflict. When you have your answer, see what you’re willing to change.

      

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      Chapter 1

      Conflict Resolution at Work

       In This Chapter

      

Looking at causes of workplace conflict

      

Using a mediation process to help employees through problems

      

Finding and using conflict expertise

      You may love your family and friends but, truth be told, you spend much of your time with the people at work. Not getting along with co-workers or having members of your team at odds with one another can be stressful and distracting. In addition, problems in the workplace rarely stay at work; they can permeate every aspect of your life. So you need to take the time to understand what’s behind a conflict, get beyond the surface issues and work to help find satisfying resolutions for everyone involved.

      Settling differences effectively requires you to step back and look at the broader picture, be mindful of another person’s point of view, and take into account peripheral factors that may be creating or provoking problems, like group dynamics or workplace norms.

      In this chapter, I give you an overview of conflict resolution so you can successfully mediate problems in your workplace, whether those problems are between two individuals or within a larger group. I also tell you about additional conflict resolution resources you may have at your disposal.

      Considering Common Contributors to Conflict

      For the most part, workplace difficulties fall into common categories, such as

      

Communication (and miscommunication)

      

Employee attitudes

      

Honesty

      

Insubordination

      

Treatment of others

      

Work habits

      Effectively addressing conflict takes into account the obvious surface issue, the emotional climate surrounding the topic, and your knowledge of the viewpoints of the people involved in the dispute. In this section, I provide insight into how differing perspectives can cause employees to feel like ships passing in the night. I also discuss emotions, touch on the importance of communication in your organisation, and look at group dynamics, including your role in the group.

Acknowledging differing perspectives

      You and each of the employees on your team have a lens through which you see the world and one another. Everything you see, hear and say goes through your filter on the way in and on the way out. These filters determine how you present and receive information.

      Your individual kaleidoscope is shaped by things like your personal history, education, values, culture and the roles you play in your life, both at work and at home. Everything you consider important works together to create your worldview. The same is true for your co-workers.

      

Values in this context are things like safety, respect, autonomy and recognition.

      Being familiar with your employees’ and colleagues’ values helps you resolve conflicts. For example, say that two employees are having an argument over where to stack some binders. If you can appreciate that one employee sees respect as paramount in his environment, and that his workspace is being encroached by his colleague with a lackadaisical attitude toward boundaries, you have a better chance of helping the two resolve the issue. Rather than swooping in to tell the pair that the binders they’re arguing about should go on a shelf, you can facilitate a conversation about the real issue – respect. After you address the issue of respect, where the binders should go will be relatively easy to decide.

      In Chapter 2, I go into more detail about filters, values and the emotions individuals bring to conflict.

Recognising emotions in others

      Most organisations embrace positive emotions. Where managers often falter is in failing to recognise that every emotion – from upbeat to angry – is a clue to discovering people’s personal values. Positive emotions are a sign that values are being met, while negative ones suggest that some work still needs to be done!

      It’s obvious that a situation has turned emotional when tears flow or an employee ratchets up the volume when he speaks, to the point that the entire office slips into an uncomfortable silence. What’s a little more difficult is knowing what to do with such passionate responses. Emotional reactions are often seen as negative behaviour in just about any workplace, but if you spend some time investigating and interpreting them, you can get a leg up on how to resolve the trouble. Check out Chapter 2 for a complete discussion of emotions at work.

Handling communication mishaps

      Communication