Seven Disciplines of A Leader. Wolf Jeff

a heap of trouble if your ego fails to step in and play mediator.

      At first glance, the superego's drive for perfection may sound like a positive leadership trait, but the opposite holds true. Let your bossy superego rule the roost, and you'll always find yourself frustrated. That's because perfection is unquestionably impossible to attain. Let me be clear: Any pride that you take in achieving what you perceive to be perfection is misplaced, in essence, a fantasy or delusion.

      How, then, do you measure success? Instead of seeking perfection, aim for excellence. It's completely attainable with hard work, but be prepared to make your share of mistakes across a long career. While leadership requires you to be at the top of your game, you also must allow yourself the luxury of making a mistake from time to time. And to survive these career speed bumps, you must build and continually fortify the emotional resilience required to change directions and correct your course.

      Zoe Learns an Important Lesson from Her Boss, Stan

      At 27, Zoe was a hotshot art director for a large, multistate HMO. She had previously worked as a senior graphic designer for a well-known national advertising agency. Zoe decided to change jobs after a five-year stint at the agency so she would have the opportunity to earn more money and embark on a management career. Moving from a highly creative and informal workplace to a more rigid corporate setting was her first challenge, but she found herself settling in nicely.

      She enjoyed supervising and mentoring two junior graphic artists, even though she had never received any formal management training. Thanks to her personality and excellent people skills, Zoe formed meaningful bonds with her staff and colleagues. She likened her new job to changing TV channels and graduating from Mad Men to House.

      About three months into her tenure, Jack, one of Zoe's direct reports, failed to spell-check a document that Stan, the HMO's director of communications, had given him before placing the text into a brochure layout. Zoe caught the typos, pointed them out to Jack, and counseled him on how he could avoid the problem in the future.

      This kind of interaction came easily to Zoe, who was known for being patient. But what her staff didn't know was that Zoe couldn't tolerate any personal mistakes, and she held herself to a higher, and unrealistic, standard. As a child, she had grown up with two college-professor parents, and scoring an A on a test was often greeted with the question, “Why didn't you get an A+?” The experience had a long-lasting effect, which continued well into Zoe's adulthood and work life.

      Similarly, Zoe's prior stint at the ad agency exposed her to three partners who viewed any error as a potential loss of revenue. Mistakes amounted to the equivalent of criminal felonies that damaged the agency's credibility, and every copywriter and designer operated in a state of high alert and hypervigilance. Employees knew that presenting edgier, more eye-catching designs had the potential to offend certain clients, even though the agency's partners knew that stodgy clients required image upgrades to succeed.

      In her new job, Zoe had to learn a new vocabulary and complex industry. It was easy to confuse terminology and often difficult to discern the nuances of the health care system. With perseverance, she was mastering her responsibilities and enthusiastically embracing the challenges each day presented.

      When Zoe submitted her second brochure layout to Stan, she learned that one of her graphic designers had horizontally flipped a photo, and she hadn't caught it. Stan told her the doctor in the picture was reversed, which meant his lab coat and stethoscope appeared backward. Even though Stan spoke to her without a hint of anger, Zoe had turned beet red and was mortified.

      After the conversation with Stan, Zoe tossed and turned in bed. Mistakes were anathema to her, and she felt ill: nauseous and short of breath. She shared the incident with some of her former colleagues at the ad agency, and they told her that she was being too hard on herself. Her closest friend advised her to let go and move on, but Zoe's conscience (superego) continued to berate her: How could you let this happen?

      Zoe's embarrassment persisted, and she asked Stan to meet with her. She told him she was horrified by the error and was willing to resign.

      Stan was shocked. “What do you mean, resign?” he asked.

      “I screwed up that photo,” she reminded him. “I feel terrible.”

      “So, you want to resign because a photo was flipped?” he asked. “A photo that has since been corrected, in a brochure that was first class?”

      “Yes,” Zoe confirmed, continuing to believe that any error on her part, no matter how large or small, warranted falling on one's sword in an act of misguided nobility.

      “I appreciate that you take your work so seriously,” Stan said, “but you're new at the job, and you didn't catch a mistake. Working here is a team sport. We have multiple reviews so we can prevent errors from making it to press, and I have your back.”

      “But I should have caught it,” Zoe persisted.

      “Do you want me to punish you?” Stan asked. “I don't think anything I could say would matter because you're doing an excellent job of beating yourself up. Did it occur to you that I've made mistakes along the way?”

      “I suppose,” Zoe mumbled.

      “And if I made a mistake, would you think less of me?” he asked.

      “No, Zoe said. “I'd think you simply made a mistake.”

      “So, why are you so special?” Stan asked. “Are you a computer? A robot? What makes you think you're any different from the rest of us?”

      Zoe had no answer. She realized Stan was right, but she felt awful.

      “You're still in your 20s,” said Stan, who was almost twice her age. “You'll make many mistakes in the future: with your staff, with me and other bosses, and in your personal life. You need to prepare yourself for the curves life throws your way and accept the fact that you're not perfect.”

      Stan, Zoe realized, was a great mentor, and had taught her a life-changing lesson: Mistakes, in most cases, are not life-and-death affairs. Over the next few years, Zoe remained diligent and careful, but she ultimately accepted the gift Stan had given her.

      Fear of Failure Is Dangerous to Your Job Health

      Fear of making a mistake can cripple even the most talented leader's efforts to succeed. It stifles creativity and discourages risk-taking, while upping the stress ante and creating a tense work environment for everyone within a department or team.