Something Like Happy. Sasha Greene

wasn’t how she had imagined her sunny Saturday panning out. A casual stroll through town, up the hill, look at the view. Definitely not getting involved in the life of someone who was obviously planning to jump.

       Really? When you know exactly what this bridge means to you? Do you want to make the same mistake twice? You could do something right for once.

      She clenched her fists, fully intending to walk on by, but found her mouth opening. ‘I wouldn’t lean so far over if I were you.’

      A female voice broke into Nick’s thoughts. That was definitely a local accent from the sound of it. He felt a surge of irritation hit him and didn’t bother turning to look at who was behind him. Jeez, what was wrong with this place? His life was filled with people telling him what to do, and now he couldn’t even plan his suicide in peace without someone interfering.

      ‘Go away.’ He folded his arms, standing stiffly, ready to wait until she disappeared.

      ‘It’ll hurt if you splat on the road.’

      Her matter of fact tone and choice of words surprised him, and he swivelled to look at the speaker. A short, waif-like girl stood in front of him. She looked no more than eighteen. Her pale skin clashed horribly with her long dyed jet-black hair, which was gathered up in the worst-kept hairstyle ever. Wait, was that strips of sparkly green in among the black? Her bright red coat combined with her goth-style hair was like nothing he had seen before in his life.

      ‘Go away.’ He turned away. ‘Leave me in peace.’

      ‘You don’t look like you want to be left in peace. You look sad. Sad people normally want cheering up.’ It was childlike, how direct she was. And somehow kind of refreshing.

      Nick turned again and frowned at her. ‘Don’t kids of your age have better things to do than harass strangers?’

      ‘Kids?’ She folded her arms, squinting at him against the sun. ‘I’m twenty-fucking-three, for God’s sake.’

      The same age as himself. Now that he looked closer at her, he could actually see fine lines at the corner of her eyes. He was willing to give her the twenty-three, although she still looked young for her age.

      Nick couldn’t help himself. ‘Do you always swear so much?’

      She shrugged. ‘Sometimes.’

      This just wasn’t how Nick had imagined his day panning out. Here he was, stuck on a bridge, arguing with someone about swear words. It all seemed kind of surreal.

      ‘Anyway,’ the girl said, looking as if all this discussion bored her, ‘I came to give you my happy list. You look like you need it.’ The cold spring wind whipped her hair around her face, and she reached for a handful, tucking it behind her ear.

      ‘Your what?’ Nick frowned again. He wasn’t quite following. His brain, so focused on what he had been thinking about before she interrupted him, was struggling to catch up.

      ‘A happy list. I wrote it. It’s things to do when I feel sad. To cheer me up.’ She spoke slowly, as if she was speaking to someone in a foreign language.

      ‘Like a bucket list?’ Nick was intrigued.

      She blew out her cheeks, obviously considering the idea. ‘Kind of, I guess. But a bucket list is things to do before you die. These are things you can do all the time.’

      ‘Anyway.’ She made a dismissive gesture with one hand. ‘If you want to come with me to the top of the hill, I’ll show you the first thing on the list.’

      She turned and walked away towards the gravel path that wound up through the scattered tombstones of the Necropolis, leaving him staring after her. His head swivelled back to the drop below. It was a choice between his own dark thoughts and the idea of talking to someone who claimed to have the answer to happiness. It took only a moment before he hurried after her.

      Jade crossed her fingers tightly in her pockets as she walked away. Had she said enough to hook him? Or had she been too harsh? A surreptitious glance behind her showed that he was following her, and she breathed a quick sigh of relief. At least she had got him away from the edge. Now all she had to do was work out how to convince him that life was better than the alternative. Yeah. All she had to do was that. Just exactly what had she got herself into here? And how the hell was she going to do it?

      Nick caught up with the red coat when she was already half-way up the slope, breathing hard as he came alongside her. He hadn’t realised how much he had let himself go over the last six months. He looked at her, expecting another pithy comment, but she just smiled politely at him and continued walking.

      He found himself considering a heavily decorated gravestone to his right. The Necropolis. A strange idea really. Rich people, paying vast sums of money to make sure they were remembered when they died. It all looked very impressive, he thought. But did anyone really remember who these people were?

      They walked in silence all the way up the winding path, until they came to the top and the girl sat down on the steps of a large stone tomb. Seating himself beside her on the chilly stone, Nick realised that from here they could see pretty much all of Glasgow. In fact, he had never really seen it quite like this. An impressive mix of architecture spread out below him, framed by the curves of the hills beyond. Sunshine glinted off the tiny wind turbines in the distance.

      ‘I’m Nick, by the way.’ He offered a hand.

      She took it gingerly. ‘Jade.’ Her hand was cool, but firm.

      Nick looked out at the view again. ‘So, what’s this list you’re talking about?’ He couldn’t help asking. Any chance at happiness was worth a shot.

      ‘Well, this is number one.’ She gestured with her hands. ‘Go and look at a stunning view.’

      She spoke the last words as if she was reciting something she had committed to memory.

      ‘Is that it?’ Nick was surprised. ‘I’d expected something, well, more dramatic.’

      ‘And you call this not dramatic?’ She pointed at the view.

      He had to admit that she was right. White fluffy clouds raced along the mountain tops. Below them the busy sounds of the city echoed up, blown to them on the wind. The seagulls whirled, shrieking as they dived among the tops of the mass of buildings below them. The variation in architecture was pretty amazing. Brutal sixties monstrosities combined with elegant Victorian buildings and to their right the squat spires of the cathedral reminded him of the ancient history of the city.

      ‘I take it you’re not local then?’ It was more of a statement than a question from Jade.

      ‘No.’ Nick wondered how she had guessed, but then realised that his accent would mark him out, just as clearly as hers had showed she was Glasgow-raised. ‘I’m from Fort William.’

      Jade looked at him for a long while, as if considering something. The grey smudges under her eyes stood out in her pale face. ‘Tell you what. Meet me next Saturday and I’ll tell you the second thing on the list.’

      ‘I thought you were just going to give me the list.’ Nick didn’t know if he wanted to get involved with what she was suggesting. He didn’t know her. This could just be some trick. To get him to –

      To get you to what, exactly? His brain gave him a mental slap. Five minutes ago you were thinking about killing yourself. What have you got to lose? He found his hands were trembling again and he tucked them under his arms, hoping she hadn’t noticed.

      He pushed away the part of him whispering that he shouldn’t get involved. Making connections when he wasn’t going to be around much longer would just be an added complication. But then, if he met this girl next weekend, that meant another week in his job. Living with the snide comments and the subtle bullying. Could he really do that? Was he really strong enough?

      ‘OK,’ he found himself saying.

      Jade looked him directly in the eyes, a