Confession of a Ghost. F.M. Dostoevsky award. Playing Another Reality. Alexandra Kryuchkova

to Dimitra’s house. She might not be sleeping yet. However, there was no light in. I flew inside – no one, as if the owners had left somewhere …

      “Dimitra!” I screamed from impotence into the void and collapsed in despair on the porch in front of her house.

      “What’s happened, darling?” suddenly came the voice of the old lady from Austria, who lived in the white-and-blue house opposite.

      “You are a ghost!” I realized suddenly. “I need to see Joice!”

      Tower of Ouranoupoli

      “You are back, thank God!” Joice greeted me on the balcony, smiling, and I threw myself into her arms. “Well, calm down, darling! Let’s drink tea by the fireplace and recite poetry!”

      Joice lit the fireplace with her eyes, visualized two cups and a teapot, invited me to sit in the chair opposite and asked,

      “What kind of tea do you prefer?”

      “What kind do you have?”

      “Any,” Joice laughed. “Come up with your own recipe, which has never existed before, and it will instantly appear in the teapot!”

      “Jasmine,” I whispered. “Everything is so unusual!”

      “It’s unusual for everyone at first,” Joice encouraged me, pouring tea into ghostly cups. “How long ago did you leave for our World?”

      “I don’t remember,” I sighed. “Ray said I had asked Heaven to erase my memory. Now I’m connecting to selective fragments of the Past, experiencing them as here and now. Everything is in chaos. I can’t restore the chain of events.”

      “Ray, who is he?”

      “Ghost of a sorcerer. He’s not allowed into Ouranoupoli, only as far as Trypiti. He said… what did he say to me? I can still do something before the 40^th day that would help me at Judgement.”

      “You remember everything perfectly! How many days have passed?”

      “I don’t know,” I admitted.

      “How did you leave your earthly body?”

      “I don’t remember.”

      “You need a plan of actions. First, remember what you haven’t finished and how many days you have until the 40^th. Memory is blocked by fear of pain. We the ghosts are usually drawn to Earth, to places where we felt good, or we try to complete something unfinished. Do you remember some prayers?”

      “Only the shortest one. Though on Athos, I read the Akathist to the ‘Seeking for the Perished’!”

      “Great! That icon helps in hopeless situations. Keep connecting to the Past, sit next to yourself on Athos, look at the text and read!”

      “I’m connecting randomly!”

      “With the power of thought, Alice. Everything here is done with it. Take the boat in the morning to the Holy Mountain, and then go to Moscow.”

      “No! I don’t want to go back there!” I exclaimed.

      “But, most likely, you didn’t finish something there, not on Athos. In the meantime, find out the date of your death to find out how many days are still available. You’re clearly stuck at the border. Ouranoupoli is the boundary zone between Earth and Heaven,” Joice sighed and the stairs creaked. “These are monks, don’t be afraid! Ghosts like us, they pray in the chapel under the roof.”

      The phone rang.

      “Aren’t you tired of visualizing the phone?” Ray asked.

      “How else?” I asked back into the phone, understanding nothing.

      “Where are you?”

      “At Joice’s. In the afternoon, I’ll probably return home.”

      “There’s nothing scary there,” Ray reassured me. “See you.”

      The phone disappeared.

      “How can you communicate without a phone?” I asked.

      “You’ll learn soon,” Joice chuckled. “Shall we recite poetry?”

      Looking through the tiny window of the Tower into the night, wrapped in a ghostly plaid visualized by Joice, in the armchair by the fireplace, periodically tasting the jasmine tea to the sounds of the waves crashing against the pier, I listened to her poems and slowly drifted into the slumber of the Mist enveloping my consciousness.

      Courtroom in the Universe

      There was a huge Cross in the center of a foggy room looking like an official meeting one, with a dim light, the source of which I couldn’t identify. On both sides of its horizontal bar, the bowls of Scales were hanging and swaying, and there was a movie screen above the Scales. There were winged creatures in the hall, I couldn’t see their faces, but I heard the continuous rustling of wings.

      “Where is the handle?” an angel asked sternly. “Where did you hide it?”

      “A handle… Hmm… What handle? I have no idea!” the devil yawned sweetly and scratched his belly with his tail. “I don’t understand what you mean!”

      The angel threatened the devil with a cross, and he instantly slipped aside.

      “Oh… put your weapon away! What’s the difference? Anyway, she’s ours!”

      The devil poked his tail at me. I closed my eyes in fear. Suddenly, a voice announced a name, and silence reigned. Two creatures with scrolls to the right and left of the Scales prepared to take notes. A young man dressed as a monk approached the Scales, and as soon as he spoke, the movie screen turned on, frames began to be projected on it, and I remembered him! How old was he? He had come to me after my concert at their school and told me about his secret dream to become a monk against his parents’ wishes. We talked long then, but I didn’t remember what about.

      He spoke quietly, but several times and quite distinctly I heard my name. Having finished his speech, the man said “thank you”, and a small shining ball of energy in the form of a heart flew into the right bowl. The Scales swung in search of balance.

      32 Before/9 After. House No.5

      Grape Picker

      Somewhere in the Universe

      “This is Love,” the Guardian smiled by House No. 5. “The Sphere of your Heart and Creativity. On the earthly level, it means your children, on the Heavenly one – paintings, books and other works of art, creations of the soul thanks to earthly and heavenly love. Information about those you’ll love, about children and the memory that you’ll leave to your descendants.”

      “I hope to find my happiness at least here!”

      “I didn’t promise you happiness,” the Guardian replied thoughtfully.

      “You said some leeches must be in this Sphere! Although I don’t know what they are!”

      I pulled the doorknob, closed my eyes, stepped inside and opened my eyes on a cloud! Curly clouds were floating all around us in the light blue sky. Like children, we plopped down on one of them and sailed into the distance.

      “Amazing!” I exclaimed. “Can I turn the clouds into air castles while we are sailing?”

      “Welcome to the Sphere of Creativity!”

      So a castle with 7 towers, each in its own color, appeared as a house for my heart. After it I built a lilac one with 12 towers to have a rest there in solitude. And more, I wanted to create a magical garden with wonderful animals and birds!

      “House