Confession of a Ghost. F.M. Dostoevsky award. Playing Another Reality. Alexandra Kryuchkova

walked along the walls and stopped at the Apostle John the Theologian.

      “It’s a pity that the island of Patmos is far from here, 70 kilometers from Turkey,” Leah sighed. “There is no vegetation there, in Greek ‘Patmos’ means rock. At the top of the island, there is the monastery of John the Evangelist, but the cave where the prophecy about the Apocalypse was given is outside the monastery. They dictated for two days, then another ten, John voiced, and his assistant wrote it down. On the icon, the Saint’s finger is applied to his lips as a sign of silence, a seal, the angel asked to keep silent about many things. Usually, John is depicted with an eagle – a symbol of flight of thought and penetration into the Other World. Together with his brother James, he became friends with Peter and the beloved disciple of Christ. Only Peter, James and John saw Jesus praying for the Chalice during the Agony in the Garden of Gethsemane.”

      “In Mark’s Gospel, Christ referred to him as the Son of Thunder.”

      “One day, he and his brother asked for fire to descend from Heaven on a Samaritan settlement. In the Cave of Revelation, John first heard thunder. By the way, John was very afraid of sailing in the sea, but he was always rescued during storms. At the request of Christ, he took care of the Virgin Mary, and they sailed to Athos together. John was present at the Assumption of the Virgin with the flower from Paradise, received from Her the day before, then went to preach in Ephesus, and was sentenced to death in Rome, but neither the cup of poison nor the boiling oil in the cauldron had any effect. So, John was exiled to Patmos, where he cast out demons and healed pagans, converting them to Christianity. He died in Ephesus at an advanced age, having returned from exile. Shortly before his death, he wrote the last, the fourth Gospel, filling in the gaps left by the first three Evangelists.”

      “It is interesting, Leah, that John is the only one of the Evangelists who died a natural death. He asked to dig him a grave, lay down in it, and when they began to fill it with earth, he was already dead. Later, only sandals were found in the grave. Perhaps, like Spyridon, he helps us, still wandering the world in his body.”

      “Yes, not Luke, hanged on a tree in Thebes. Luke was an artist. He was the first to paint the Virgin Mary after Her blessing and during Her lifetime. Since then, he has been considered the patron of artists. All his icons are double-sided. It’s also possible to define whether one artist painted the icons or different ones by faces of Saints. I love the miraculous icon by Luke in the village of Nea Roda. Have you seen the Virgin ‘Skoupiotissa’? The icon miraculously survived in Turkey and miraculously didn’t end up in the Athos monasteries. Luke was a friend of the Apostle Paul, and painted Paul with Peter. Luke is depicted on icons with a calf. The main theme of Luke’s Gospel is the sacrifice of Christ for the sake of mankind, and the calf is a sacrificial animal.”

      “Does Matthew the Evangelist, as a former tax collector, patronize tax services and accountants?”

      “Yes, we say so too. He is portrayed as a man to whom an angel is dictating the Gospel. Little is known about his life, several countries claim to have his relics, but it is believed that the relics of Matthew are kept in Salerno, Italy. In Italy, in Padua, there are the relics of Luke. The relics of Mark, the winged lion, the patron saint of Venice, are in Venice.”

      “I have been to Venice many times,” memories instantly flooded over me in a wave, and I was mentally transported to Piazza San Marco, but Leah brought me back to Athos.

      “John the Theologian is closer to me. He set foot on the land of Athos. You know, I remember from Luke’s Gospel, once they met a stranger who cast out devils on behalf of Christ. The Apostles forbade him to do that, while John doubted whether it was right to forbid. Jesus said to John, ‘Don’t forbid, for whoever is not against you is for you’.”

      “It’s an interesting phrase,” I agreed and, having looked out the window, saw the same Monk watching the icons in Janis’ shop, and I got scared.

      Nea Roda

      One couldn’t reach to Nea Roda on foot, but it costed only 1.80 euro to get there by bus from Ouranoupoli. A village near Ouranoupoli, Nea Roda was located just beyond the port of Trypiti, the previous border with Athos, at the narrowest point of the peninsula, where, if desired, one could swim in the sea on both sides.

      On the way, the luxurious Eagle’s Palace, where the sheiks used to rest, appeared on the left. A little later, on the right, the five-star Alexandros Palace showed up. I had been in vacation with my son there, and we walked to Nea Roda across the fields along the rural path. I didn’t know then that a unique miraculous icon was kept in the village.

      Once I lived on Athos in winter, a period of timelessness – it rained, the shops were closed, all cafes disappeared, as if they hadn’t existed there at all, there were no people on the streets, just cats occasionally. Ouranoupoli was a village of cats and Nea Roda – of dogs. Ouranoupoli used to wake up on Epiphany, celebrated at time of Christmas on Mount Athos. The village went on a religious procession to the pier, from which, after the priest’s prayer, the cross was thrown into the sea, boys dived after it, who was the fastest? Then the priest visited each house and sprinkled it with holy water.

      At that time of Christmas and Epiphany, I asked Dimitra to take me to Nea Roda to see the miraculous icon. We arrived at closed doors. Dimitra was looking for the priest by phone, I turned to the Virgin Mary, mentally imagining Her icon, and instantly received an answer to my request, which came in the form of a text phone message from the right person, while Dimitra said that the priest had left and would appear in Nea Roda only the next day. Of course, I came again. The priest opened the church for me, and we spoke a little in English. Before returning to Moscow, I asked Dimitra to give my little gift to the Virgin Mary’s icon, a gold ring with sapphire and diamonds, which I had been wearing for a long time without taking it off. The priest hung it on the chain attached to the icon.

      I came there again that day. The church fence was closed. I went to the corner chapel, where one could light a candle and pray at any time of the day. Then I decided to walk along the shore street with cafes, since there were no shops in Nea Roda. I sat down on the shore and watched the horseshoe-shaped peninsula wrapping the sea around. The Sun was no longer hot, preparing to leave for the night chambers. Seagulls were fishing. Children were having fun on the beach. Suddenly, someone sat down next to me.

      “Ray? You?” I exclaimed.

      “The border ran along Trypiti, so I’m allowed here. Are you hungry?”

      “No.”

      “What date is it today? Do you know?”

      “Ray, am I sleeping?”

      “You don’t sleep at all, or… all you do is sleeping.”

      “Where am I now?”

      “On the Stairs. Do you remember, Archimandrite Ignatius personally gave you a book about the Stairs as a gift from Athos? And the hand-painted icon. You were the first to order it.”

      “Ah! Right! I ordered the Stairs. Was the icon painted then? Anyhow, now I’m in Nea Roda, I’ve come to…”

      “Of course, that’s right. Ask to get your memory back to let you finish something.”

      “What are you talking about?”

      “Once you asked to erase your memory, since you were afraid of the pain that could make you exit life. The request was granted, but your life turned into Hell, and …”

      “It’s nonsense!”

      “Remember, Alice, or you’ll never get out of the trap. Once you helped me, and I’ll definitely come to the Court to pay my respects, but …”

      “What court?”

      “When one’s soul leaves the earthly body, all who knew the person alive receive a telegram. If desired, everyone can come to the Court to witness the good