Collection of mysticism. + author’s biography including essays about books. Tsvetana Alеkhina

If the phone is here, then I am here. I had an incentive, if I am here, then I need to run away from here, and I decided to get out so that it would not become. I was wondering where am I? In the grave or on the surface? My mind was sound and I was happy about it. I started knocking with my hands and feet, and realized that the coffin lid was not firmly closed. I began to knock with all my might and threw it off. I sat down and caught my breath. Then I quickly got out of this horror. Grave was in a freshly dug grave, in the same cemetery, and next to the same unmarked grave.

      – «This is your grave. I heard the words through hysterical laughter. The laughter was harsh, rude and mocking. My hatred for this woman grew more and more. There is no trace of my first impressions. I no longer felt for her what I felt for the first time. Those moments melted away. I ran to the exit, hoping to escape. But I forgot that Mara is a natural element herself.

      My next test was that I ended up in the underworld with the devils. A blizzard picked me up and transported me to another dimension.

      – This is your new world. Meet me. She said with malice. Your soul does not belong to you. Very soon, you will settle here for good.

      I looked around me and saw that I was in hell. The devils rejoiced at the sight of me. They danced. I had no joy from what I saw, I was tired, and my eyes went out. I wanted to fall through, disappear through the ground, but I was already underground. I started all this myself, and I regretted it very much. I realized that I could not get out. My only salvation was my friends, but I did not really count on them, they might not have time to save me. I saw my grave with my own eyes, and it was true.

      – «But they saved you.»

      – Yes, but for how long? I know I am already dead. My soul does not belong to me. She is there. I made this mess myself. There was a void in my eyes. I could smell death. I wanted peace, but I could no longer find it, knowing in advance, what awaits me after death.

      My friend looked at me with bitterness in his eyes. The lights were on in our room, and it looked like a cell. In which two monks were sitting and one confessed sins to the other.

      – Practice. Mara shouted. In addition, she left me alone with these demons.

      I sat down on the ground and put my face in my hands. I understood that my situation was hopeless, those creatures like the ghost, the grandmother, and not all the others were no longer there. There is no one to save me anymore.

      Moreover, I was waiting for my fate again. I wanted so much to see my ghost, who once took my grandmother’s place.

      – Very soon, you will take this place. An angry voice shouted. She did not show herself, but she was always there. I remembered the words of my grandmother, «she will turn your whole soul inside out.» «Oh, and she’ll wear you out.» These words are etched in my memory. Now, after so many years, these words have come true.

      I fell silent; it was about midnight on the clock. – There is still a whole night ahead.

      – Yes, and you have something to tell me.

      – That is for sure. We crept quietly down the corridor to smoke. I peeked through the half-open door so that the nurse on duty would not notice us.

      – What are you looking for there?

      – I am looking so that we will not be noticed.

      – Calm down. We are not really needed here. Moreover, especially this sister. Another one will come tomorrow, that is another matter.

      I looked out again and noticed how the lights went out in our ward. My face changed, and Vovan noticed it.

      – What happened?

      – The light went out.

      – So he was not there. There is no light in the entire corridor.

      – There is no light in our ward.

      – So the light bulb burned out. Do not worry. This is not mysticism. You are just nervous overexertion. Today I will be discharged, and tomorrow I will come for you. I promise you. I will arrange with the doctor and take you away from here. The words of a friend calmed me down, and I myself believed that the light bulb had burned out.

      We returned to the dark room and the lights came on again. – Don’t worry. It happens with light bulbs.

      – «I know that. My friend was cheering me on. But I already knew she was here. She came to take my soul. – It is all over today. My friends will install a fence and a monument today. And the entrance will be closed.

      – This is good news. Then you have nothing to worry about at all. I continued my story.

      The devils were bothering me. In addition, I no longer paid attention to them. I did not care. Indifference set in. My flesh felt being underground, the air was heavy, I had a terrible headache, and the touch of devils made me sick. I remembered how I once saved one of them. I would not do that now. I stood up to my full height, looking with my eyes for at least the slightest clue, at least something that could help me. It was the same clearing and the oak, everything was the same, but there was not the same drink. I wondered if I could go back upstairs without him. I ran up to the oak tree, the devils were dragging me by the sleeve, and I was pushing them away. I hugged the oak tree tightly and with a feeling of remorse for what I had done, I thought about returning home.

      When I opened my eyes, I saw the old picture again – I was in the cemetery. The underworld is a cemetery. That is all I have seen in the last few days. I groped for my phone, and sent a message to my friends that I was at the cemetery and I was dying. Deep down I hoped for salvation, but in fact, my case was hopeless. She hugged me tightly in her arms. I went to the exit, no longer hoping to get out. My hopes were confirmed, the exit was blocked. I was hitting an invisible glass. I ran away and hit my face on it. My attempts were in vain. I realized that I was under invisible arrest.

      – What should I do? I thought. The idea came to my head to find the grave of my grandmother and ask her for help, and suddenly. I thought, and went in search of a grave. I walked confidently, already knowing the way. Here they are familiar graves. I was walking around the garden meeting acquaintances. Every familiar grave pleased me. And it was killing me. I was reproaching myself. – How could I bring myself to such a state?

      Snow covered the entire cemetery, and only in some places, relatives cleared the graves of the deceased. Here it is, my grandmother’s native grave. It was in an abandoned state, I did not even clean the snow. There was no one to take care of her, the fence was rusty, and so was the cheap obelisk. I stepped over the fence and came close to the monument. I also noticed how the shadow of a beautiful woman flashed by, it was noticeable from a dim lantern located far from the cemetery. I shuddered at the thought that she was somewhere nearby. I did not want to have anything to do with her and closed the fence in the hope that I protected myself.

      – Oh, if only I could take it all back. I thought. As soon as I thought about it, I immediately found myself in a clearing covered with moss, and my friend was standing on it. I was so glad to see him that I even wanted to hug him.

      – So we met! He said joyfully. I will help you escape, but for this, you will strictly follow my instructions. Break at least one, take my place, or next to me. I agreed without hesitation.

      – «You’ll eat this powder first. Then you will go straight from here to the airport, and you will fly to your home, you will move from home to warmer climes, where there is no snow, there it will not reach you. If you do not, then no one will save you. This powder will make you invisible. Its effect does not last long. While she is looking for you, you will have to hide, it is better to go to the airport right away. If you delay, then your friends will suffer too. With the dawn it will be more difficult for her, try to stay in the sun as long as possible.

      The ghost’s words cheered me up. I was sure that