Adult Psychotherapy Homework Planner. Arthur E. Jongsma, Jr.

Conflict

       Impulse Control Disorder

      SUGGESTIONS FOR PROCESSING THIS EXERCISE WITH THE CLIENT

      The purpose of this exercise is to improve the client's ability to verbally express anger in an assertive manner. Teach the client effective communication skills and/or coping strategies in the therapy sessions to help the expression of feelings of anger in a direct, calm, controlled, yet nonaggressive manner. The client is encouraged to practice the assertive communication techniques on a regular basis at home, at school, and in the workplace. The first page of the assignment identifies several effective communication skills. Feel free to teach the client other effective communication skills that will help the client to express anger appropriately.

EXERCISE 1.C ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION OF ANGER

In this assignment, you are asked to practice expressing your anger in a calm, controlled, and assertive manner on a regular basis at home, at school, or in the workplace. Assertive communication of anger includes the following characteristics:

      1 Use of “I” statements—“I” statements reflect ownership of thoughts and feelings. Effective “I” statements are present‐focused and free of manipulative ploys. Use of “I” statements are more likely to reflect statements of personal responsibility.

      2 Avoid use of “You” statements that are often blaming, accusatory, or judgmental in nature. “You” statements often focus on the other person's faults and place them on the defensive.

      3 Calmly state your reasons for your anger. Refer to specific behaviors and focus more on the present situation and not on past faults of the other person.

      4 Use facts instead of judgments.

      5 Make requests for positive and specific changes in behavior. For example, “I would appreciate it if you would call and let me know when you are running late.”

      6 Express your anger as soon after the specific behavior or event as possible so that your expression of anger can be present oriented.

      7 Express anger in a calm and reasonable tone of voice. Clearly, it is best to avoid yelling or talking to the other person in a high‐pitched or accusing tone of voice. Avoid nagging and whining as well.

      8 Use active listening skills. After you have expressed your thoughts and feelings in a calm and controlled manner, it is important to listen to the other person's point of view. Remember to listen to other people's thoughts without interrupting. Maintain good eye contact while they are speaking to let them know that you are listening intently to their thoughts and feelings. Try to avoid thinking about what you want to say next.

      9 If the discussion becomes tense or heated, remember to take a break to regain your composure and organize your thoughts.

      Now that you have been taught effective communication techniques, we encourage you to use these skills on an everyday basis. Please fill out the Assertive Communication Log to record the incidents where you had the opportunity to practice communicating your feelings of anger.

ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION LOG

Date: Time:

      Setting:

      Person(s) Involved:

      What were you angry about?

      How did you express your anger to the other person(s)?

      How did the other person(s) respond to your expression of anger?

      How did you, in turn, respond to their statements or feedback?

      How successful or effective do you feel you were in expressing your anger? Did you resolve the problem? Please explain.

      What, if anything, would you have said or done differently?

SECTION 2 ANTISOCIAL BEHAVIOR

      Therapist's Overview HOW I HAVE HURT OTHERS

      GOALS OF THE EXERCISE

      1 Identify specific behaviors that have been engaged in to hurt others.

      2 Identify the consequences of hurtful behavior.

      3 Increase awareness of how antisocial behavior has specifically hurt others.

      4 Indicate the steps that will be taken to make amends or restitution for hurt caused to others.

      ADDITIONAL PROBLEMS FOR WHICH THIS EXERCISE MAY BE MOST USEFUL

       Anger Control Problems

       Legal Conflicts

       Substance Use

      SUGGESTIONS FOR PROCESSING THIS EXERCISE WITH THE CLIENT

      Minimization and denial are traits that often accompany antisocial behavior patterns. This exercise is designed to increase sensitivity to antisocial behaviors that cause others pain. Confrontation may be necessary to bring the client to acknowledge behaviors that are not included in the checklist. Be alert to the antisocial personality trait of projection; that is, the client may try to place blame for their behavior on anyone but themselves. Role reversal may be necessary to help the client feel the pain of their behavior on others.

EXERCISE 2.A HOW I HAVE HURT OTHERS

We are capable of hurting others in many different ways. This assignment will help you become more aware of various behaviors that have a hurtful impact on others. Sometimes we are very aware that we are hurting someone with our behavior, while at other times we do not even seem to notice it. Review the list of hurtful behaviors that follow and put a check mark next to those that you have engaged in and that have resulted in pain for others.

       Hurtful Behaviors

______________ Dishonesty	______________ Sex abuse
______________ Disloyalty	______________ Unfaithfulness
______________ Physical assault	______________ Verbal attacks
______________ Stealing	______________ Irresponsibility
______________ Unkindness	______________ Insensitivity
______________ Blaming	______________ Threatening
______________ Illegal acts	______________ Weapon use
______________ Substance abuse	______________ Name calling
______________ Job loss	______________ Unkept promises

      1 Describe three situations where you have hurt others through engaging in one of the behaviors listed.Situation A:Situation B:Situation C:

      2 Describe how your behavior affected others. How were they hurt?Situation A:Situation B:Situation C:

      3 What might you do to make amends for your hurtful behavior toward others in these three situations?Situation A:Situation B:Situation C:

Therapist's Overview LETTER OF APOLOGY