According to the Pattern (Romance Classic). Grace Livingston Hill

the careless kiss she saw was coming. She preferred that he should leave her uncaressed.

      “Come, Miriam, I must go. Don’t wait for handkerchiefs. There’s no time to look. The cab is at the door. Come.”

      But she did not come, and he called good-bye and went.

      She watched him slam the cab door after him and drive away in the early morning light, and then the great sobs that had been so carefully choked down for hours came and shook her frame, and she hid her face in the pillows where he had slept but a little while ago and let her sorrow wave upon wave roll over her head and bury her in the awful chasms between its breakers till kindly nature claimed the worn-out body and over-wrought nerves, and wrapped her in a deep and dreamless sleep of utter weariness.

      Chapter 3: An Important Letter

       Table of Contents

      The days that followed were to her like a long struggle through the darkness of some deep valley by night. When she looked back upon them they were filled with horror. Every time she slept and awoke there was the same awful realization of trouble to be instantly remembered and realized, coming with the keenness of first knowledge during the earliest waking moments, as one remembers death or dread calamity and tries to weave the unaccustomed threads of sorrow into the hitherto happy web of life and make it seem a part of the daily fabric.

      She plunged into work with all her soul and body. What was to come she had yet to discover. She felt that now her course lay clear before her, she had but to get out of the way any work that might be a hindrance to the plans when they should be formed. The children’s clothes were first. She had been working at them leisurely for some time, taking pleasure in designing and executing the pretty, dainty garments which should make her children into picturesque little creatures. Now she set about finishing this work with feverish eagerness and conscientiousness. She foresaw that her tender care of these little ones must be interrupted in the future. What had been her duty and her pleasure must now be neglected for a higher, more insistent duty, which could not be delayed.

      She put lingering, wistful touches on her work and a world of love and pent-up mother desires. This much she could do before the demand for action came and she would do it better than it had ever been done before. But there was also another reason for the care she put upon the little garments. When she remembered this her face was almost bitter in its stern determination and her fingers flew the faster. She was going out to fight the world, and the world, if she succeeded, would be free to inspect her life, her home, her children, everything she had. These same little chores of theirs would not escape the inspection. They were to be a part of her furnishing for the warfare in which she was to engage. Therefore she worked late and early, and in a surprisingly short time the garments were laid away complete for use.

      One of the first things she had done during these days of work had been to write a letter subscribing for the “Fashion Magazine,” to which she had sent her appeal for help. She felt that she simply could not go to a news-stand and buy it. Her shame, her disgrace would be written large upon her face. No, she must make sure to see it if any answer appeared to her letter, but she must see it first in the quiet and seclusion of her own room with locked doors. Whenever, as she went back and forth to the city stores, she saw a copy of that magazine in a window or a notice of it upon a sign-board, she turned her face guiltily away. It was as if the name of it was shouted to her from afar. She dreaded the thought that any one should know to what depths she had descended, actually to have written to a public editor for assistance in her trouble. And yet, and yet in spite of it all and without her own consent, she was building greatly on the answer that should come to her. Would they understand what she wanted? And would they give her any help that she could follow? Or would she have to go blindly all alone? This thought gradually began to stand out clearly in her confused brain as she tried to plan while her fingers were executing wonders with her needle.

      A month! And she must be ready for action when her husband returned. It might be he would be delayed longer, but she must be ready. Would the printed help come in time? How long did it take those things to get to headquarters and fall into line with other questions till at last an answer could come?

      She watched the mail from week to week. The day of the arrival of the magazine was an anxious one. She shivered when it was put into her hand and tried to go about her household duties calmly, forcing herself to give the cook minute directions sometimes before retiring behind locked doors to scan the pages hastily and then more thoroughly. It must not be suspected that she had more than a passing interest in that magazine.

      She read every word from cover to cover to make sure she did not miss her answer, though she knew such answers only appeared in a certain column. Meantime she was gaining much worldly knowledge as she read. There was a certain “shibboleth” spoken in those columns which she foresaw she must make her own if she would be the success she aimed to be. Unconsciously she weighed this and that question in dress, household decoration, manners, and customs. Without her own knowledge she grew to apply these newly acquired rules to her own home and life.

      At last one morning she found the initials she had signed to her question staring her in the face.

      For one brief instant she closed her eyes and drew a deep breath. Then her hand fluttered to her heart and she read with nervous rapidity:

      Indeed, I have considered the situation carefully, for I know exactly what a complex problem you feel you have to face. But let me reassure you; many and many a wife and mother is in a similar predicament. How can it be otherwise when one has since marriage had little children to take care of and is occupied in the most natural, best of all ways that a woman can be occupied?

      Miriam Winthrop caught her breath in a quick, dry sob at this, and then read on:

      But I must congratulate you for the conclusion you have reached and your wise, wholesome desire to take up social life again and make a position for yourself and your husband, and, above all, for your children’s future.

      Ah, yes, for her children’s future! But not in the way the writer meant.

      It seems to me it would be unwise to start out to entertain elaborately even if you have the means for it. No, I should not advise you to give a big general reception, nor big dinners, nor anything of the sort. First of all, it would be inappropriate to entertain so in your small house, for you know there is proportion in everything. But what you could do is to send out cards for four days next month, let us say.

      Then followed minute directions for the giving of informal little teas, with details of simple refreshments, decorations, forms, and costumes suggested. Nothing was forgotten, though there were no superfluous words used, from the garb and deportment of the maid who opens the door to directions about the proper garments for her husband to wear. Ah, her husband knew to an exact science how to dress well upon all possible occasions. That one suggestion was unnecessary, and a deep sigh was breathed in her excitement as she read on, more and more convinced that the beginning of the undertaking seemed possible.

      There was also a plan of further campaign of dinners and luncheons and a children’s party hinted at, and the writer concluded:

      Meanwhile you will probably receive invitations in return which you should accept, wearing pretty, becoming dresses to the entertainments and making as much of yourself as possible. This is every woman’s duty, especially if she is a wife and mother. Try to read up on the subjects which are generally talked of, so that you will be an intelligent companion besides educating yourself, and try to find out what are the interests of the people you want to know. Return your calls regularly. When you have established a position for yourself it will be perfectly permissible for you, when you meet a stranger at a luncheon, or dinner, or any entertainment at the house of a mutual friend, to ask her if you may not call, as you would like to know her better, so gradually you will enlarge your circle without forcing yourself. I should advise you, if you have time, to go into some charitable work; join one of the societies of your church, and do what you can to help others outside of your home. By and by send out cards for a series of days and give during the winter some