The Essential Fitzgerald - 45 Short Stories & Novels in One Edition. F. Scott Fitzgerald

“one of these parlor Bolsheviks, one of these idealists? I must say I fail to see the difference. The idealists loaf around and write the stuff that stirs up the poor immigrants.”

      “Well,” said Amory, “if being an idealist is both safe and lucrative, I might try it.”

      “What’s your difficulty? Lost your job?”

      “Not exactly, but—well, call it that.”

      “What was it?”

      “Writing copy for an advertising agency.”

      “Lots of money in advertising.”

      Amory smiled discreetly.

      “Oh, I’ll admit there’s money in it eventually. Talent doesn’t starve any more. Even art gets enough to eat these days. Artists draw your magazine covers, write your advertisements, hash out ragtime for your theatres. By the great commercializing of printing you’ve found a harmless, polite occupation for every genius who might have carved his own niche. But beware the artist who’s an intellectual also. The artist who doesn’t fit—the Rousseau, the Tolstoi, the Samuel Butler, the Amory Blaine—”

      “Who’s he?” demanded the little man suspiciously.

      “Well,” said Amory, “he’s a—he’s an intellectual personage not very well known at present.”

      The little man laughed his conscientious laugh, and stopped rather suddenly as Amory’s burning eyes turned on him.

      “What are you laughing at?”

      “These intellectual people—”

      “Do you know what it means?”

      The little man’s eyes twitched nervously.

      “Why, it usually means—”

      “It always means brainy and well-educated,” interrupted Amory. “It means having an active knowledge of the race’s experience.” Amory decided to be very rude. He turned to the big man. “The young man,” he indicated the secretary with his thumb, and said young man as one says bellboy, with no implication of youth, “has the usual muddled connotation of all popular words.”

      “You object to the fact that capital controls printing?” said the big man, fixing him with his goggles.

      “Yes—and I object to doing their mental work for them. It seemed to me that the root of all the business I saw around me consisted in overworking and underpaying a bunch of dubs who submitted to it.”

      “Here now,” said the big man, “you’ll have to admit that the laboring man is certainly highly paid—five and six hour days—it’s ridiculous. You can’t buy an honest day’s work from a man in the trades-unions.”

      “You’ve brought it on yourselves,” insisted Amory. “You people never make concessions until they’re wrung out of you.”

      “What people?”

      “Your class; the class I belonged to until recently; those who by inheritance or industry or brains or dishonesty have become the moneyed class.”

      “Do you imagine that if that road-mender over there had the money he’d be any more willing to give it up?”

      “No, but what’s that got to do with it?”

      The older man considered.

      “No, I’ll admit it hasn’t. It rather sounds as if it had though.”

      “In fact,” continued Amory, “he’d be worse. The lower classes are narrower, less pleasant and personally more selfish—certainly more stupid. But all that has nothing to do with the question.”

      “Just exactly what is the question?”

      Here Amory had to pause to consider exactly what the question was.

      AMORY COINS A PHRASE

      “When life gets hold of a brainy man of fair education,” began Amory slowly, “that is, when he marries he becomes, nine times out of ten, a conservative as far as existing social conditions are concerned. He may be unselfish, kind-hearted, even just in his own way, but his first job is to provide and to hold fast. His wife shoos him on, from ten thousand a year to twenty thousand a year, on and on, in an enclosed treadmill that hasn’t any windows. He’s done! Life’s got him! He’s no help! He’s a spiritually married man.”

      Amory paused and decided that it wasn’t such a bad phrase.

      “Some men,” he continued, “escape the grip. Maybe their wives have no social ambitions; maybe they’ve hit a sentence or two in a ‘dangerous book’ that pleased them; maybe they started on the treadmill as I did and were knocked off. Anyway, they’re the congressmen you can’t bribe, the Presidents who aren’t politicians, the writers, speakers, scientists, statesmen who aren’t just popular grab-bags for a half-dozen women and children.”

      “He’s the natural radical?”

      “Yes,” said Amory. “He may vary from the disillusioned critic like old Thornton Hancock, all the way to Trotsky. Now this spiritually unmarried man hasn’t direct power, for unfortunately the spiritually married man, as a by-product of his money chase, has garnered in the great newspaper, the popular magazine, the influential weekly—so that Mrs. Newspaper, Mrs. Magazine, Mrs. Weekly can have a better limousine than those oil people across the street or those cement people ‘round the corner.”

      “Why not?”

      “It makes wealthy men the keepers of the world’s intellectual conscience and, of course, a man who has money under one set of social institutions quite naturally can’t risk his family’s happiness by letting the clamor for another appear in his newspaper.”

      “But it appears,” said the big man.

      “Where?—in the discredited mediums. Rotten cheap-papered weeklies.”

      “All right—go on.”

      “Well, my first point is that through a mixture of conditions of which the family is the first, there are these two sorts of brains. One sort takes human nature as it finds it, uses its timidity, its weakness, and its strength for its own ends. Opposed is the man who, being spiritually unmarried, continually seeks for new systems that will control or counteract human nature. His problem is harder. It is not life that’s complicated, it’s the struggle to guide and control life. That is his struggle. He is a part of progress—the spiritually married man is not.”

      The big man produced three big cigars, and proffered them on his huge palm. The little man took one, Amory shook his head and reached for a cigarette.

      “Go on talking,” said the big man. “I’ve been wanting to hear one of you fellows.”

      GOING FASTER

      “Modern life,” began Amory again, “changes no longer century by century, but year by year, ten times faster than it ever has before—populations doubling, civilizations unified more closely with other civilizations, economic interdependence, racial questions, and—we’re dawdling along. My idea is that we’ve got to go very much faster.” He slightly emphasized the last words and the chauffeur unconsciously increased the speed of the car. Amory and the big man laughed; the little man laughed, too, after a pause.

      “Every child,” said Amory, “should have an equal start. If his father can endow him with a good physique and his mother with some common sense in his early education, that should be his heritage. If the father can’t give him a good physique, if the mother has spent in chasing men the years in which she should have been preparing herself to educate her children, so much the worse for the child. He shouldn’t be artificially bolstered up with money, sent to these horrible tutoring schools, dragged through college… Every boy ought to have an equal start.”

      “All