Leg over Leg. Ahmad Faris al-Shidyaq

or rouse his dander!’ The ploughman is afraid of too much rain and the hurricane, the educator that men will turn from a thirst for knowledge to one for ignorance, the educated that later writers will say something biting and of the consequences of writing (writing, that is, a book that will suck dry what remains of patience’s limited supply and keep him from any distraction or attraction), the singer and player of instruments that prices will become inflated or the hearts of the rich desolated, the playboy that men will be guided to become more serious, the poet that he’ll find the object of his panegyrics as impervious as rock or his beloved unresponsive and imperious, the author like me of lunatics (meaning he’s on his guard against them, not that he’s one of them),³ who may bar his path, burning his book and tearing his hide to pieces in their wrath, the husband of the decampment of his wife and of his daughter’s staying a spinster for life (as are they, in turn, of his stinginess with his pelf and denial of access to his wealth), the priest of the philosophers’ books, and the philosophers of the priest’s threats, fulminations, and thunderous looks. Thus, in sum, everyone with a trade fears lest its benefits be diverted, each prays God his affairs go right even if his friend’s must be perverted, for scarce any of the aforementioned can his own interests fulfill without another, of necessity, faring ill (as Abū l-Ṭayyib al-Mutanabbī put it, ‘The setbacks of some are for others opportunities’), despite which each claims he has a right to what he asks for, that he deserves to be granted his prayers, and that the proof of his claim lies in the sayings of the Glorious and Almighty Truth, that most truthful of sayers.”

      3.1.32

      نعم اعود فاقول * وان طال المقول * او ما كفى الناس الخوف من الموت يفاجئهم وهم فى دعة واطمئنان * او يفجعهم بفقد ما لديهم عزيز من اهل وولد واخوان * وخلان وحيوان * اذ بعض الناس يكلفون بالخيل والطير والسنانير والكلاب * كلفهم بالاهل والاصحاب * او الرعب من ان يسقط احدهم عن ظهر دابته فتندق عنقه * او تسرى النار فى بيته فيحترق تالده وطريفه فيعدم رزقه * او يقع فى تيّار فيجفأ به الى ما شاء الله * او تخسف به الارض * او يخرّ عليه السقف من فوق * او تبلغه الوكة من مسافة مائتى فرسخ فتقلقه وتورقه وربما ابكته دما * او ياتيه سارق فيسرق متاعه الذى هو قوام معيشته * او يفقد ما فى كيسه او هميانه فى الطريق * او ينشب فى عينه عود فيعطلها * او تتشنج به عضلة فيعد بعدها من سقط المتاع * او ياكل شيا ضارّا فيودى به * او شرابا مسموما فيسقط امعآه وارابه * او يرى جميلة فيؤرقه جمالها فيصبح وهو هائم متيّم يشكو للطبيب من سقامه * وللشاعر من غرامه * فلا هذا يطعمه ويمنّيه * ولا ذاك ينفعه ويشفيه * او قبيحة فتدهمه مَرْعبة * ويلازمه القمه عن المادبة * او تنبحه الكلاب وتخرق ثيابه فيبدو وَذَمه * او يسيل دمه * او يكون جالسا يوما على التخت * فيسمع له صريف التحت * فيسود وجهه بين اخوانه وعترته * واهل قريته وكورته * وربما نبزوه بالخَضْفى او الغَضْفى او النَضْفى او الخَبْقى^١ او الخَفْقى او العَفْقى او الغَفْقى او الحَصْمى او الخَضْمى او الرُدْمى * او يقع عليه الكابوس ليلًا فيقف جريان دمه على قلبه فيهلك ليلته *

      ١ ١٨٥٥: الخَبْقى او الخَبْقى [كذا].

      And yet again I say, no matter at what length I have already spoken, “Is it not enough for man—fear of a death that may take him unawares while peaceably engaged upon his affairs, or grieve him through loss of a dear one deceased, be he of his kin, his offspring, or his brethren, or a boon companion, or even a beast (for some are as fond of horses, birds, cats, and dogs as they are of family and friends), or terror lest one of them should break his neck by falling off the back of one of his nags, or his house catch fire, his heirlooms and prized possessions be burned to ashes and he reduced to rags, or fall into a torrent and be swept to God knows where, or the earth swallow him up, or the ceiling collapse upon him from above, or a missive reach him from a distance of two hundred leagues, to disquieten him, cost him his sleep, maybe even make him weep blood, or that a robber come and steal the goods upon which his livelihood depends, or lest he lose all that’s in his purse or waistband while on the road, or a stick pierce his eye and he lose its use, or one of his muscles become paralyzed and thenceforth be of no worth, or he eat something harmful and be killed by it, or he drink a poisoned potion and his guts and limbs collapse because of it, or he behold a comely woman and be kept awake by her beauty so that he gets up the next morning beside himself and love-sick, complaining to the doctor of his disease and to the poet of his passion, for the latter will neither his hunger appease nor grant him his desire nor will the former bring him any good or provide him with a cure, or behold an ugly one who strikes such terror into his heart as makes all appetite depart, or lest the dogs bark at him and rip his clothes, so that his tackle’s laid bare or his blood flows, or he be sitting one day on a seat and from down below be heard a tweet, so that his name becomes mud among his brethren and band, the people of his village and his land (in which case they may name him in derision ‘the farter,’⁴ ‘the snarter,’ ‘the varter,’ ‘the browner,’ ‘the bottom burper,’ ‘the queefer,’ ‘the queeber,’ ‘the poofer,’ ‘the pooter,’ ‘the butt trumpeter’), or the nightmare fall upon him one night, so that the blood stops flowing to his heart and he perishes before morning?”

      3.1.33

      نعم لم^١ يكفهم هذا كله حتى طفق بعضهم يجهّز على بعض كتائب الحدس والتخمين * ويجرّد عليه مقانب الخرص والتزكين * فاقبل قوم منهم على قوم برماح الطعن مشرَّعة * وبسيوف اللعن مبضّعة * وبنصال الجدال فائدة مارقة * وبنبال الجلاد صاردة خاسقة * فقال بعض الا ان درجات السمآ مئة وخمس * فقال غيره الا انها مئة واربع * فقال اخر لقد كذبتما واستوجبتما قطع اللسان وسمل العينين * وسلّ الانثيين * وانما هى مئة وست * ثم قام اخر وقال الا ان دركات سقر ستمائة وست وستون * فقام غيره وقال الا انها ستمائة وخمسون * فقال اخر لقد كذبتما والحدتما وضللتما واستوجبتما غلّ اليدين والرجلين * ونتف الشعرين * انما هى ستمائة وسبع وستون * ثم قام اخر وقال الا ان قرن الشيطان ثلثمائة وخمسة وخمسون ذراعا * فقال آخر هذا افك واضح * وبهتان فاضح * بل هو ثلثمائة