Leg over Leg. Ahmad Faris al-Shidyaq

اعنى العَنْدلية والجزلية احسن ما يراد من المراة * فان الاولى تشفع فى الكون الامامى والثانية فى الكون الخلفى * قلت وقد جآء عن سيدنا سليمان عٓم مدح العندلية بقوله فى الفصل الخامس من سفر الامثال فليروينَّك ثدياها فى كل حين * ولقائل ان يقول ان العهن واخواته مع وجود اليد والجتّ(٢)(٢) الجَتّ جسّ الكبش ليعرف سمنه من هزاله * * اذا جمع الجسمين مكان لا يمنع من تحقق الصفتين المذكورتين * والجواب ان ذلك محظور غالبا فى البلاد المشرقية ولا سيما من اول مرة * فاما عند غيرهم فلا محظور منه ولذلك شاع استعمال العظّامات عندهم بلا نكير *

      When he saw her close up, he found her to be a woman big of bosom and bottom, the credit for this going to the inventor of Egyptian dress, for had she been wearing Frankish clothes, he would never have known if the things on her chest were dyed wool, cotton bolls, cotton cardings, teased wool, papyrus cotton, wool waste, silk, or breasts,(1)(1) ʿihn is “wool, or wool that has been colored by dyeing”; birs is “cotton, or something resembling it, or papyrus cotton”; khurfuʿ is “carded cotton”; ʿuṭm is “teased wool”; baylam is “papyrus cotton” and “sugarcane cotton”; qishbir is “the worst cotton, or cotton waste”; nawdal means “breast.” or whether what was behind her was a bustle or flesh and fat. These two characteristics—by which I mean bigness of bosom and bigness of bottom—are the best one can want from a woman, for the first assures the appeal of the forward dimension, the second that of the rearward. I might add that it is reported that Our Master Sulaymān, peace be upon him, said in praise of bigness of bosom (Proverbs, chapter 5), “Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times.”¹³ Someone might object that, should the two bodies be gathered together in one place, the presence of colored wool, etc., would not—given the presence of hands and possibility of their giving the body a good squeeze here and there as one would when testing a ram for fatness(2)(2) jatt is “feeling a ram, to know what part of it is fat and what lean.”—prevent the investigation of the status of the abovementioned characteristics. The response would be that such a situation is generally prohibited in the lands of the East, especially on the first occasion; the rest of the world has no such prohibition, which is why the use of bustles has spread, which no one can deny.

      3.2.6

      ثم حيث تقدم لنا فى الكتاب الاول وصف الحمار على اسلوب افرنجى فلا باس هنا ايضا فى وصف الرجل قُبيل الزواج على النسق المذكور فنقول * انه مدة تعلله بغبطة الزواج وتلحّزه من لذاته * لا يخطر بباله شى من مستانف آفاته * وانما يخطر فى حدسه * ويقول فى نفسه * ان حالتى لا تكون كحالة معارفى وجيرانى * الذين تزوجوا واخطاتهم الامانى * اذ هم لم يودوا الزواج حقه * ولم ياخذوا فى اسبابه بالثقة * لان منهم من باعل * وهو غير كفو لهذا العمل * اما لصفر راحته * او لعدم سماحته * او لمبانية سنّه عن سنّ زوجته * او لضعف فى آلته * او لانه كان من الزمالقية على شفا * او كان مُصْلفا او مُشَفْشِفا(١)(١) المصلف من لا تحظى عنده امراة وهو ايضا الذى ثقلت روحه وقلّ خيره والمشفشفمن به رعدة واختلاط غَيرةً واشفاقا على حرمه * او لان اميره كان يغيّبه عن وطنه * او لان جاره كان يخالفه الى عطنه * او لان امّه كانت رقيبا على امراته * او لان امامه كان ضيزنا له على مائدته * فلذلك ثار بينهما النقار * وطال النفار * فقُدّ القميصان من قُبُل ومن دُبُر * ونتف الشعران والصخب كثر * وخدش الجلدان خدشا بالظُفُر * وانتن الريحان من فوق السرر *

      Now, given that we were previously presented, in Book One,¹⁴ with a description, in the Frankish style, of a donkey, there can be no harm in presenting here too a description in the same style of a man on the verge of marriage. Thus we declare: it is a time that seduces him with thoughts of the joys of being wed and makes him drool as he anticipates the pleasures of the bed. No thoughts of future troubles cross his mind—all he can surmise, the most his mind devise, is “My state is not like that of my friends and neighbors who married and were disappointed in their hopes. They didn’t give marriage its due, didn’t cling with confidence to its ropes, for some wedded when unequal to its demands, either for want of magnanimity or of liquidity, or because of a disparity between them and their wives in age or, in their instrument, some debility, or were prone to come at the rim, before entering the hole, or rejected by their wives, or reduced to a constant tizzy by the husband’s role,(1)(1) The muṣlif is one “whose wife finds no favor with him” and also a man “who is in low spirits and whose wealth has decreased.” The mushafshif is “one who suffers from trembling and confusion out of jealousy and worry over his wives.” or because their emir had exiled them from their houses, or because their mothers constantly spied on their spouses, or because of quarrels with their neighbors over where to water their cattle, or because their imams regarded their wives as chattel.¹⁵ For all these reasons, squabbles would break out between man and wife and they’d go for long periods in a state of strife, shifts would be ripped from in front and from the rear,¹⁶ heads and pubes plucked of their hair, uproar would never stop, skins would be scratched with fingernails, and the scented herbs upon the beds would go to rot.

      3.2.7

      اما انا فانى بحمد الله خال عن هذه الخلال * فلا تحول لى مع زوجتى حال * ولا تزاحمنى فيها الرجال * ولا يعتريها منى ملال * فرضاى رضاها * ومناى مناها * وما انا بادرم ولا ابخر * ولا احدب ولا اخنب * وان لى يدين اعمل بهما ورجلين اسعى عليهما * وان يكن بى من عيب فى خَلقى * يستره عنى حسن خُلقى * فانى لا اعارضها فى طعامها * ولا فى لباسها ومنامها * بحيث تنام الى جنبى * وتتخذ من الملبوس ما يليق بها وبى * فما يمنعنى من اتخاذ قرينة * تكون على هذه الصفة الميمونة * حتى اذا سمع الناس بان زوجى عَرُوب * عرضها عندى مصون ووجهها عن المراود محجوب * حسدونى على