Brains Confounded by the Ode of Abū Shādūf Expounded. Yūsuf al-Shirbīnī

cut it short and it got much nicer,

      When its length was less commode-ious.

      ٤،١٠

10.4

      (وقيل) من الدليل على قلّة عقل الرجل صِغَرُ رأسه وطول لحيته وإن كان اسمه يحيى فقد فقد العقل بالكليّة وفي المثل طويل ذقن قليل عقل (كما اتّفق أنّ بعضهم كان له صاحب طويل اللحية يؤدّب الأطفال) ففقده أيّامًا فسأل عنه فقيل هو منقطع في بيته حزين قال فظنّ صديقه أنّه مات له ولد أو أحد من أقاربه فذهب إليه فرآه في حالة الحزن وهو يبكي وينوح فقال له يا أخي عظّم الله أجرك وأحسن عزاك ورحم ميّتك كلّ نفس ذائقة الموت فقال له أتظنّ أنّه مات لي أحد فقال له فما الخبر فقال له الشيخ اعلم أنّي كنت جالسًا ذات يوم فسمعت رجلًا ينشد ويقول [بسيط]

يا أُمَّ عمروٍ جزاك الله مَكْرُمَةً	رُدّي عَليَّ فُؤادي أَينَما كانا
لا تُأخُذينَ فؤادي تَلعْبينَ بِهِ	فَكَيفَ يَلعَبُ بالإِنسانِ إِنسانا

      فقلت في نفسي لولا أنّ أمّ عمرو هذه من أحسن الناس وأجملهم ما قيل فيها هذا الشعر فشغفت بها أيّامًا وانقطعت بحبّها ثمّ إنّي جلست يومًا من الأيّام زمانًا فسمعت قائلًا يقول [وافر]

إِذا ذَهَبَ الحِمارُ بِأُمِّ عَمروٍ

فلا رَجَعَتْ ولا رَجَعَ الحِمارُ

      فقلت لولا أنّ أمّ عمرو ماتت ما قيل فيها هذا البيت فداخلني الحزن واعتراني الأسف قال فتحقّق صاحبه قلّة عقله وتركه ومضى

      Some say that it is sign of a lack of brains when a man’s head is small and his beard long, and if his name is Yaḥyā as well, he hasn’t a hope of brains at all; and the proverb says, “Long beard, little brain.” Thus it came about that a man had a friend with a long beard who was a teacher of young children.⁷ On one occasion, after he had failed to see him for some days, the man asked after his friend and was told, “He has shut himself up in his house to grieve.” The man thought that he must have lost a child or one of his relatives, so he went to see him and found him grief-stricken and weeping and wailing. “My brother,” said the first, “may God make great your recompense and make good your consolation and have mercy on the departed! Every soul must taste death!” “Think you that one of mine has died?” said the other. “What then?” said the first. “Know,” said the shaykh, “that I was sitting one day when I heard a man recite the following verses:

      O Umm ʿAmr, God reward you well,

      Give me back my heart, wherever it may be!⁸

      Don’t take my heart to make of it your toy—

      How can a girl with a young man’s heart make free?

      “—so I said to myself, ‘Were not this Umm ʿAmr one of the best and most beautiful of people, these verses would not have been said of her!’ and I fell madly in love with her and shut myself away with her love. Then one day I sat for a while and I heard someone say:

      When the donkey went off with Umm ʿAmr,

      She never came back, and neither did the donkey

      “—so I thought, ‘If Umm ʿAmr were not dead, they would not have made up this verse about her’ and I was overcome with grief and afflicted by sorrow.” This made his friend realize how stupid the man was and he left him and went his way.

      ٥،١٠

10.5

      (وقيل مرّ بعضهم في يوم شديد البرد) فرأى رجلًا صغير الرأس طويل اللحية وعليه قميص واحد وهو يرتعد من شدّة البرد ورأى تحت إبطه حِرام أبيض من الصوف مطويّ فقال له لأيّ شيء لا تضع هذا الحرام عليك يقيك ألم البرد فقال أخشى من نزول المطر عليه فيبتلّ فيذهب حسنه وتزول بهجته قال فتحقّق الرجل قلّة عقله وتركه ومضى

      And the story is told that one extremely cold day a certain person was going along when he saw a man with a small head and long beard wearing nothing but a shift and shivering from the cold. Noticing that the man had a white woolen mantle folded under his arm, he asked him, “Why don’t you put on the mantle to protect yourself from the cold?” The man replied, “I’m afraid that the rain will get on it and make it wet, and then it won’t be lovely and new-looking anymore.” This made the man realize how stupid he was and he left him and went his way.

      ٦،١٠

10.6

      وأجود اللحاء ما كان معتدلة متساوية الشعر لا طويلة ولا قصيرة (فإن قيل) إنّ فرعون كانت لحيته تزيد عن طوله شِبْرًا أو شبرين على ما قيل ومع هذا كان عارفًا فطنًا (قلنا الجواب) أنّ الله تعالى كان قد أعطاه ثلاث آيات منها طول لحيته وأنّها كانت خضراء اللون ولم يكن لمثله ذلك وكان له جواد يضع قدمه عند منتهى بصره وترتفع رجلاه إذا صعد ويداه إذا هبط أو يقال إنّه وإن كان على غاية من المعرفة فهو في حكم مسلوب العقل لادّعائه الإلهيّة وارتكابه الأمور الشنيعة ونحو ذلك فالكلام على حقيقته كما تقدّم انتهى

      The finest beard is middling, with hairs of even length, neither long nor short. If it be said, “Pharaoh’s beard was longer than he was tall, by one or two spans, or so it is reported, and even so he was wise and full of insight,” we respond, “The explanation is that the Almighty gave him three miraculous signs, one of them being the length of his beard, which was also green and the like of which was vouchsafed to no other of his sort. He also had a steed that placed its front foot at the farthest point that it could see and raised its hind legs when it ascended and its front legs when it descended. Or it may be said that, even though he possessed extraordinary knowledge, he was effectively bereft of intelligence because he claimed to be divine and perpetrated