Always in My Heart. Kayla Perrin

Being here is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. In many ways, it would have been easier to keep you in the dark. But I know how wrong I was, and that’s why I’m here now, realizing that you’ll likely hate me forever for what I did. Yes, it took a life-altering event for me to realize exactly what’s important in life. And I know that now. My son has a father. It’s time he get to know him. What I need to know is if you’re willing to get to know Kwame.”

       “Of course,” Nigel quipped. “I have a son. I won’t turn my back on him.”

       Callie nodded. “I know you’re angry. I also know that I have to deal with whatever reaction you have to this, because this is completely my fault. But I’m figuring you probably need a day or two to let this all sink in, and then maybe we can set up a time for you to meet Kwame—”

       “Today. I want to meet him today.”

       “Are you sure?”

       “Yes,” Nigel said. Then he groaned. “Damn it, I completely forgot that I have court this morning. Then I have to work this evening. Today isn’t the best day.”

       “We can set up another time,” Callie said softly.

       “I’ve missed nine years of his life. I need to meet my son as soon as possible.”

       Callie nodded. “Good. Because I’m not sure when I’m heading back to Florida, but it’s fair to say that time is of the essence. And I’d like for Kwame to spend as much time getting to know you before we leave.”

       “When’s his birthday?” Nigel asked.

       “November twenty-eighth.”

       Nigel processed the information. That would make Kwame’s birth just about six months after Callie had disappeared from his world.

       “Does he know about me?” Nigel asked.

       Callie didn’t look at him as she spoke. “No. Not yet. I wanted to wait to see what you would say before I told him.”

       “And if I didn’t want to see him, you would let him continue to live in the dark? Not know about me?”

       “No,” Callie said slowly. “If you didn’t want to see him, then I would have found a way to explain that to him. But I didn’t want to get his hopes up about you and the fact that you lived in Cleveland if you didn’t want to see him.”

       Nigel was silent for a long moment, weighing the validity of her answer. He stared at her, and she held his gaze, not flinching.

       “Fair enough,” he finally said. “As much as I want to meet him today, it’ll have to be tomorrow morning. Around ten? If you’re going to spring it on him that I’m his father, he might need a little time to process the information. Maybe it’s best that I won’t have adequate time until tomorrow.”

       Callie nodded. “Sure, we can come by at ten.”

       “Good.”

       Callie offered him a weak smile. Then she turned toward the door.

       “Your tea,” Nigel said. “You didn’t drink it.”

       “Um, I’ll be fine. It’s probably best I get back to the house, talk to Kwame.”

       She made her way to the front door, and Nigel followed her. His heart was beating a mile a minute, he realized. But how could it not be? His life had just changed, in an instant.

       “I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Callie said as she opened the door. “We both will.”

       “Sure. Now, are you going to tell me what else is going on?”

       Callie’s eyes widened. “What are you talking about?”

       “Call it a cop instinct,” he said.

       Callie didn’t speak right away, just looked at him with that wide-eyed expression. He’d been a cop for nine years, and over that time had honed his senses. Every sense within him told him that Callie was keeping something from him.

       “Besides, I don’t believe you came here simply because you had an attack of conscience,” he added.

       Callie wrung her hands together, a sign that he was right on the money. But she didn’t speak.

       “Does it have to do with the fact that your arm is in a sling?” Nigel asked. “Because that’s what my senses are telling me.”

       “Your senses are off in this case,” Callie said. “My aunt died. Like I said, that’s the reason I’m here. It made me realize life is too short.”

       Nigel shrugged. If that was how she wanted to play this, then fine. Why should he care whatever personal mess she might be in?

       What mattered was that he had a son.

       A son… The gravity of the situation hit him anew.

       The woman he had loved more than any other had not only left him, she’d left him and kept their child a secret.

       Nigel had always believed that Callie had loved him, loved him as deeply as he loved her, but it was glaringly clear now that she hadn’t loved him that much at all.

      Chapter 4

      After Callie left Nigel’s house, her heart beat furiously the entire walk back to Uncle Dave’s place. Her stomach was so upset, she actually felt pain.

       Telling Nigel that he was a father had been the hardest thing she had ever done. The look on his face, one of utter devastation, still haunted her. At first, he had been bewildered, but the stunned look on his face had quickly morphed into devastation as he had accepted the truth.

       Then had come the anger.

       He had a right to be angry, absolutely he did, but Callie couldn’t imagine how things would go between them from here on out. Clearly, they would have to spend time together in order for Nigel to get to know Kwame. But if how she felt now was any indication of how awkward she would feel when she brought Kwame around, she wasn’t certain she could handle it.

      You can, she told herself. If you can handle Auntie Jean dying, you can handle this. If you could handle your mother disappearing, you can handle this.

       This was just another hard thing in her life that she had to deal with.

       Her mind replayed her meeting with Nigel. He hadn’t been easy on her, which she understood, but some of his comments were uncalled for. It was clear he was automatically thinking the worst of her, despite the fact that she had come to rectify a wrong. Yes, her actions ten years ago had been despicable, and she supposed he simply couldn’t trust that her motives now were altruistic. Too much time had passed for her to expect him to know her anymore.

       He did, however, seem to sense that there was something more going on with her, as evidenced by his asking more than once about her injuries. Callie hoped her lie would satisfy him, because she didn’t want to get into the real reason of why her arm and head had been hurt. Her friend Tamara’s plight wasn’t his problem. And the last thing she wanted to appear to be doing was using Tamara’s dilemma to gain any sympathy from him.

       She supposed she should be happy that he’d let her into the house, allowed her any time to speak.

       Her stomach tickled as she recalled the first sight of him after ten years. He still looked good. She had always loved his tall frame, and his six-foot-two body was now packed with more muscles than when she had last seen him.

       He had been attractive then, with his easy smile, bright eyes and that chiseled jawline. But good Lord, he was even more handsome now.

       Callie frowned as she turned onto the street that would lead back to her childhood home. Was she actually feeling a stirring in her gut? A pull of attraction for the man she had once loved?

       It was insane, wasn’t it?

       And yet when she thought