The Complete Ruby Redfort Collection. Lauren Child

well you might change your mind when you hear this,’ said Ruby.

      ‘What is it? I got a plane to catch in less than,’ Hitch looked at his watch, ‘seventeen minutes.’

      ‘OK,’ said Ruby, ‘it all started this evening when I was eating pizza with Clancy.’

      Hitch rolled his eyes heavenwards and pulled on his jacket. ‘Save it kid, it will be a nice story for when I get back.’

      ‘Nice story? You have to be kidding – this isn’t some fairytale you know.’

      ‘Kid, I’ve got work to do.’

      ‘Look buster, are you gonna listen for seventy-five seconds?’ There was something in Ruby’s voice that made Hitch stop short.

      ‘OK, I’ll listen if you can talk fast – but I’ve only got about sixty now, so when I say fast, I mean fast.’

      ‘OK,’ said Ruby, ‘as I was saying, it all started this evening when I was eating pizza. Although I guess it all really started before that when my parent’s luggage went missing and then we got burgled and then there’s this maniac in big glasses who bumped into our car on the highway.’

      Hitch looked at her like she had gone stark raving mad. ‘What?’ he said.

      ‘The redhead,’ said Ruby. ‘She keeps sorta appearing…’

      ‘What on earth are you talking about kid? You aren’t even half making sense.’

      ‘Well, this redhead walked by and Clancy was sorta intrigued because she was acting a bit suspicious and he thought he had seen her before somewhere strange, but he couldn’t put his finger on where, and so I say “let’s tail her” – so we did. She went back to the Grand Twin Hotel and Clancy kinda dressed up like a waiter and we got into her room and kinda checked it out.’

      ‘You kinda checked it out?’ repeated Hitch, incredulous.

      ‘It was just a hunch. Clancy gets these hunches and I have learned it is often wise to follow them up.’

      ‘OK kid, so you find yourself in a complete stranger’s hotel room, what do you do next? I’m all ears.’

      ‘When she’s in the shower we go through her stuff.’

      ‘You go through her stuff ?’ said Hitch, appalled.

      ‘Well Clance doesn’t, he just tries on her glasses, boy did he look a sight.’

      ‘You break into a woman’s hotel room and Clancy tries on her glasses?’

      ‘What, is there an echo out here? Look we didn’t break in, we conned our way in.’

      ‘Oh that makes it so much better. So Clancy gets a hunch, and cons his way into an innocent woman’s hotel room; she takes a shower while you ransack the joint.’

      ‘Look that’s what I’m getting at, she ain’t so innocent. I think she is somehow involved.’

      ‘Involved in what?’ asked Hitch who was very near the end of his rope.

      ‘I’m not exactly sure but involved in something,’ said Ruby.

      ‘Involved in something. What does that mean?’ But just then Hitch’s watch beeped. He looked at the flashing dial, pressed the speak button and extended the antenna. ‘Yes, I’m on my way. Over.’

      ‘What? You can’t go! Clancy and me think this has everything to do with the Jade Buddha. Don’t you see?’

      Hitch turned and looked hard into Ruby’s eyes. ‘What I see is some school kid who’s in way over her head, way over. This is not an episode of Crazy Cops ! You are not an agent, this is not some game and what the heck are you doing talking about a Spectrum case with your pal Clancy – you were told to keep your mouth shut!’

      Ruby had never seen Hitch angry like this. She shouldn’t have told him about Clancy. That was a mistake.

      By now Hitch was in the car, turning the key in the ignition.

      ‘What about tonight? My folks are expecting you to serve drinks at their party. It’s important to them, they’re gonna be real mad – you can’t just go!’ Ruby was getting desperate, trying to find anything that might stop him from leaving.

      ‘It’s covered,’ he said angrily.

      ‘What about the redhead?’ shouted Ruby.

      But her voice was drowned out by the sound of the car engine.

      As he drove, Hitch thought about Ruby. He was about as angry as he had ever been.

       What on earth had gotten into the kid?

       She might be brilliant but she was way out of control, living out some secret agent spy fantasy.

      As much as he wanted to strangle her, he really should get someone to keep her safely under lock and key while he was away – he could strangle her when he got back.

      He pushed a button the dash and was put straight through to HQ.

      ‘LB, look, maybe it’s nothing but Ruby’s got it into her head that she’s some kind of action agent. I think she could get herself into some real trouble if someone doesn’t keep an eye on her.’

      ‘You want to tell me what’s happened?’

      ‘Well, today she was breaking into some woman’s hotel room with her school pal Clancy.’

      LB gave out a heavy sigh. ‘I never should have used the kid, shoulda learned my lesson by now.’

      ‘You’re gonna have to watch her, she could get into some serious grief,’ said Hitch.

      ‘OK, I’ll put Froghorn on it.’

      ‘Froghorn?’ blurted Hitch. ‘I’m not sure that’s such a good idea, the kid and Froghorn didn’t exactly hit it off – can’t you assign someone else?’

      ‘We only have Froghorn, all our other agents are tied up on bigger things.’

      ‘I’m not sure he can handle it.’

      ‘Don’t worry about Froghorn, I’ll tell him to play nice.’

      True to his word Hitch did have it covered – at seven o’clock a young woman in an elegant cocktail dress arrived at the Redfort home.

      ‘Hitch sent me – the name’s Christie, I’m going to be making and serving your cocktails this evening. I believe you have approximately sixty guests tonight?’

      Brant Redford smiled. ‘Very nice to meet you Christie, I’m Brant, but where’s…’

      ‘Hitch? Oh he had a personal emergency, I’m his cover. Where should I set up the bar?’

      Consuela scowled and pointed Christie in the direction of the living room.

      By the time Sabina made her way upstairs, Christie looked well into her stride.

      The phone in the hall rang, Ruby picked up and said angrily, ‘Redfort household, shaken and quite possibly stirred.’

      ‘So what did he say? Does he know this redhead and why she might be after some man with a moustache or what?’ It was Clancy but he wasn’t bothering with hellos.

      ‘I never got a chance to find out – he was in kind of a hurry,’ said Ruby.

      ‘What? You gotta tell Spectrum, Rube, this could be important – it could be to do with the Jade Buddha.’

      ‘You think I don’t know that?’ said Ruby. ‘But what can I do if they won’t hear me out?’

      ‘Make ’em,’ said Clancy firmly. ‘Go there and make them listen – people could be in danger. Remember