The Complete Ruby Redfort Collection. Lauren Child

Hitch. He was packing up his room.

      ‘Leaving already?’

      ‘Not right away but soon – just waiting to get my orders.’

      Ruby looked around – there wasn’t a lot to pack up, yet somehow, as he moved his things into boxes and trunks, the soul seemed to disappear from the room.

      ‘So what’s happening at Spectrum? You must be lining up some heavy duty security for this whole museum launch.’

      ‘Apart from the laser lockdown system we are about to install, we also have the whole security team which was assigned to the bank, and of course Spectrum agents will be infiltrated among the guests – oh yes, and Ambassador Crew has generously lent the museum his personal security staff.’

      ‘Clancy’s dad is lending his security staff? Wow, this Buddha must be important.’

      ‘Well kid,’ said Hitch, lightly punching her on the arm, ‘I don’t know if you’ve heard, but it is the Jade Buddha of Khotan.’

      ‘Oh yeah, now that you come to mention it, I think my folks might have said something about that.’

      He winked and continued to slip shirts from hangers.

      ‘Anything you need me to do?’ asked Ruby hopefully.

      ‘I think you can consider yourself off the payroll kid. You did what needed doing, somewhat unconventionally it must be acknowledged, but we folks at Spectrum are grateful to you. Now you can go back to what you do best.’

      ‘Yeah, and what’s that?’

      ‘Bugging the heck out of poor Mrs Drisco.’

      ‘Oh, sure that’s what I live for.’

      Ruby went upstairs to the kitchen and whistled – from nowhere Bug was by her side wagging his tail.

      ‘At least I still have my old pal Bug, I don’t suppose you’ll ever dump me right? At least, not while there’s food in the refrigerator.’ Bug licked her on the cheek.

      ‘Your breath could be fresher but thanks anyway.’ She scratched him behind the ears.

      Ruby and the dog made their way down the back stairs and left the yard by the back gate. It was a beautiful evening. The sun was getting ready to set and the breeze that touched her face was warm – but for Ruby it might as well have been thunder and hail, for she felt nothing but cold stinging disappointment, a feeling Ruby Redfort was simply not used to.

      And just like that, Ruby’s life in the fast lane had hit a dead end.

       Chapter 29.

      A Regular Girl

      RUBY WAS GLOOMIER STILL when she arrived at school the next day only to find Clancy off sick.

      ‘Toothache,’ said Red.

      ‘But they extracted it, how can he have toothache?’

      ‘Infected,’ said Mouse. ‘That’s what I heard Mrs Bexenheath saying to Mrs Drisco.’

      ‘Tooth decay: one of the top ten reasons for all absent days,’ said Del.

      ‘So what, now you’re some kind of tooth statistics expert, Del?’

      Del put her hands on her hips and looked hard at Ruby. ‘Redfort, what’s your problem? You’ve been acting sorta weird for a while and now you seem to have a bug in your behind.’

      Del liked to use last names when she was making a point.

      Ruby was annoyed. She was annoyed with Del and she was annoyed with Clancy. No one was saying that was fair, ’cause it wasn’t, but that didn’t stop her from being annoyed. As far as Ruby Redfort was concerned it wasn’t fair that she had managed to work out what eight top undercover agents hadn’t been able to work out – yet where had it gotten her? Hanging around at school, every day the same.

      After class Ruby walked out of the gates and saw her mom parked across the street. Why is she here? Darn it! Ruby had planned to head over to Clancy’s.

      ‘Hey Mom, what’s going on?’

      ‘I thought we could go shopping – I want you looking pretty at the museum do,’ said her mother. ‘And it wouldn’t hurt to get something for our party tonight – heaven knows what you are planning on wearing.’

      ‘What are you saying? What’s wrong with my clothes?’ said Ruby indignantly.

      Sabina looked at Ruby’s attire. ‘Where to start?’

      ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

      ‘Oh honey, do you have to wear those T-shirts? You could look so like a regular girl if you tried.’ Today Ruby’s T-shirt bore the words, a bozo says what.

      Ruby got into the car.

      ‘What?’ said her mother staring hard at the words on Ruby’s shirt.

      ‘Exactly,’ said Ruby.

      ‘What does that even mean?’ sighed Sabina as she pulled away from the kerb and into the traffic. ‘I have the prettiest daughter in town and all she wants is to look “different”.’

      ‘Why would I wanna be the same?’ said Ruby.

      ‘I’m not saying exactly the same – just a bit the same.’

      ‘A bit the same?’

      ‘More normal, like other people want to look,’ said Sabina, firmly.

      ‘You want me to look more like her?’ said Ruby pointing out Vapona Bugwart’s best friend and sidekick Gemma Melamare, a glossy girl with shiny blonde hair and more make-up than a department store cosmetics counter.

      Sabina shivered. ‘No siree Bob.’

      They drove in silence for about fifteen seconds, before her mother perked up again. ‘Oh yes, Ruby I have to tell you – turns out there is a rumour going around that there was a big conspiracy to steal the Jade Buddha of Khotan, can you believe it?’

      ‘Are you kidding?’ said Ruby.

      ‘Yes, it wasn’t the bank at all.’

      ‘So, what, will they be bringing in some top security staff?’

      ‘Oh yes! Only Ambassador Crew’s top expert people, that’s how important this…’

      ‘Yikes Mom!’ screamed Ruby, as a maroon car overtook them at great speed and swerved into the gap in front of them.

      ‘Jeepers!’ screeched Sabina. ‘Some people’s driving! What was the point of that?’ She honked the horn to show her displeasure. ‘Anyway, as I was saying, it is now absolutely impossible to break in to the museum now they have all these lasers and the lockdown system. Isn’t that something?’

      ‘Yeah,’ said Ruby.

      ’I’m so excited! Your father’s going to bid for a chance to look the Buddha in the eye at the stroke of midnight. It’s the chance of a lifetime – imagine, not only the opportunity to halve his age but the chance to double his wisdom. What do you think, Rube?’

      ‘Will we even notice?’ said Ruby.

      Sabina looked in the mirror – there was a black car edging closer and closer to their bumper. ‘What’s that nut behind me doing? She’ll end up in our trunk if she gets any closer!’

      The black car started honking its horn.

      ‘Heavens!’ exclaimed Sabina. ‘The standard of some people’s driving is just criminal!’

      ‘You can say that again,’ said Ruby.

      Suddenly they felt their car jerk forward as the one