The Complete Ruby Redfort Collection. Lauren Child

had to do. She needed to talk to Hitch – he would just have to see her point of view.

      She walked into the kitchen and found Hitch drying martini glasses while he chatted to Consuela, who was busy stuffing fourteen large tomatoes with what looked like more tomato. It occurred to Ruby that Consuela was rather over dressed for this task, the stiletto heels and painted fingernails seeming to be more of a hindrance than a help. She was also laughing rather too much, that sort of random giggling that certain girls at Ruby’s school broke into whenever Richie Dare walked past.

      ‘Oh brother!’ muttered Ruby. She took a breath. ‘Hitch, can I ask you something?’

      ‘I am sure you can and I have no doubt that you will,’ he replied.

      Consuela giggled and Ruby glared at her.

      ‘Well, if I could drag you away from the kitchen for five trilliseconds.’ She made an eye signal, meaning “not in front of her” and Hitch put down his dishcloth and asked Consuela to excuse him. Consuela adopted a fake pout and giggled again.

      ‘Jeepers!’ muttered Ruby.

      When they were out of earshot Ruby said, ‘What am I gonna do about Clancy?’

      ‘What do you mean? What’s Clancy got to do with anything?’

      ‘He has everything to do with everything and now that I’m involved with Spectrum I can’t talk to him about anything!’

      ‘Goes with the territory kid – you can’t talk to him, you can’t talk to anyone.’

      ‘But…’

      ‘Kid, you blab and you’re going to be in the deepest deep water you have ever been dunked in – that clear?’

      Ruby nodded – this guy was never going to give in. She felt her spirits sinking as if there was an impossible weight pushing down on her. Lying to Clancy – an impossible task. She was dead meat.

      She decided to get some air – take Bug for a walk. She headed off in the opposite direction from Amster Green.

      When Ruby got back, her mother was there to greet her.

      ‘Well, hey there stranger, where have you been?’

      Ruby was a little surprised by the question and wasn’t sure what to say – she couldn’t quite discern whether her mother’s tone was serious or playful.

      RULE 4: SAY NOTHING. When in a tight spot people often give themselves away by over talking.

      ‘Um, well, you know,’ said Ruby.

      ‘Yes I do young lady. I came to pick you up after the match. I was going to take you to get your hair cut – remember?’

      Ruby did remember now her mother brought it up – how could she have forgotten something which could so easily have blown her cover? RULE 7: NEVER FORGET THE LITTLE THINGS – IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS THAT WILL LEAD PEOPLE TO NOTICE THE BIG THINGS. This was something Ruby had seen time and time again in Crazy Cops. It was one of her most important rules.

      ‘Hey, you’ve ripped your new jacket,’ said her mom. ‘How did that happen?’

       Yeah Rube, explain that why don’t ya.

      ‘Uh, well, let me tell you.’ Ruby was thinking fast but unusually nothing was coming to mind.

      ‘I guess it was at Mrs Beesman’s right?’

      ‘Uh…?’

      ‘I was about to go and call coach Newhart,’ said her mother, ‘I was worried, but luckily I ran in to Clancy and he tells me you went off to do some volunteer work helping out poor old Mrs Beesman. Ruby, you never told me about that – so sweet of you honey! But you ripped your jacket huh? Well, I’m hardly surprised – state of her yard.’

      ‘Yeah, well, you know,’ mumbled Ruby. Her mother was asking her all kinds of questions about Mrs Beesman but what Ruby was thinking was, Clancy covered for me even though I have been ducking his calls and deliberately avoiding him – he still covered for me. Wow, he’s some friend.

      This made her feel bad.

      Her mother was still talking about Mrs Beesman and how proud she was that a daughter of hers was kind enough to go and help a poor old lady out.

      ‘Ruby, you really do make me feel ashamed! I have never done anything to help her.’

      This made Ruby feel worse.

      She tried to make light of it. ‘Don’t beat yourself up Mom, we can’t all be saints.’

      But her mother wouldn’t let go. ‘Be modest if you want Ruby, but as your mother I am proud of you, you can’t change that.’ Then she started kissing her on the cheeks – Ruby decided that perhaps this was Clancy’s idea of revenge after all.

      At dinner, Sabina was still bragging about Ruby’s charitable work, this time to her father.

      ‘That’s swell honey,’ said her father.

      And later, on the phone she bragged to Mrs Irshman. ‘She cleaned up Mrs Beesman’s yard, yes, Mrs Beesman with all the cats.’

      Ruby was feeling steadily more and more horrible – she would have to actually go over and clean Mrs Beesman’s yard now – she was sure to go to hell otherwise. She was really beginning to dislike Clancy. Wow, some friend you are.

      As if preventing a bank heist wasn’t enough – now she had to clean some cat lady’s yard.

       Chapter 19.

      One little lie

      THE NEXT DAY WAS SUNDAY and Ruby wasn’t expected at Spectrum. She decided that it was about time she saw some of her friends – Clancy in particular. She wasn’t quite sure how she was going to explain her absence from school but she thought maybe she should tell them the truth – well, the truth that was the lie that Hitch had told, about her grandmother being sick. It was just that Ruby wasn’t good at lying to her friends. Mrs Drisco? No trouble at all. Her parents? Easy. But not her friends – it didn’t feel right.

      She just hoped none of them would remember that the grandmother in question had actually long since departed this earth.

      It’s just one little lie, thought Ruby.

      She got out of bed and walked over to the heap of clothes lying on the floor. She had been so preoccupied the night before that she had completely forgotten about the watch. Now she finally had the chance to take a close look – see just what it could do. However, it seemed her jacket was no longer in the pile – nor, indeed, was it anywhere in her room.

      ‘Hey Mom,’ called Ruby. ‘You seen my jacket?’

      ‘I grabbed it while you were sleeping honey – got Hitch to take it to the tailor.’

      ‘I don’t believe it.’

      ‘Ruby, you can’t wear a ripped jacket!’ said her mother. ‘Besides you have plenty of others.’

      ‘That’s not the point,’ muttered Ruby. ‘People shouldn’t mess with other people’s stuff.’ Boy, if she lost that watch she’d be toast.

      She slipped a T-shirt over her head which bore the words you better believe it buster and was just pulling on a pair of jeans when the phone in her bedroom rang. Without considering who it might be, she picked up the receiver.

      ‘Twinford Retirement Centre, just sit in a chair while we vacuum around you.’

      ‘Hey Rube, where you been?’ It was Clancy.

      Ruby took a deep breath. ‘Haven’t you heard, my grandmother’s sick and I, you know… have been cheering the old lady up.’