The Complete Ruby Redfort Collection. Lauren Child

Ruby. Must be for some woman with feet like a kid.

      She moved to the next cabinet: displayed inside was an elegant, cropped cape-jacket. It was white with a fur edged hood, and had one large, shiny glass button.

      Lady’s Parachute cape.

      Pull on button to activate chute. Warning; to avoid earache, ensure hood is up before embarking on airborne descent.

      ‘We don’t use that any more,’ said Buzz, glancing over her shoulder. ‘None of our female agents will be seen dead in it – apparently it’s out of style.’

      Ruby didn’t agree at all – what did Buzz know about fashion anyway? The woman looked like a walking mushroom. As far as Ruby was concerned, this was one cool looking cape.

      Buzz moved on, pointing out various tiny lifesaving survival gadgets and deadly lifesaving weapons – all disguised as ballpoint pens, brooches, miniature radios, hats, umbrellas, sunglasses, car keys and a thousand other things.

      However, what really caught Ruby’s eye was the watch. It was in a glass drawer contained in a special cabinet with a notice which said, ‘for display only – do not remove.’ The watch face had cartoon eyes, and the eyes followed the hands. The second hand had a fly at the end of it that ticked steadily round the dial. That fly again. For a split second it triggered something in her memory. Autumn leaves whirled through her mind and a strange dark feeling lurked but she couldn’t grasp hold of it. And then just like that it was gone.

      The watch strap was brightly striped and was fastened with an interesting clasp and the face was coloured enamel with chrome surround. It was desirable simply because of the way it looked but of course there was more to the watch than its appealing appearance. The label said, ‘The Fly, Escape Watch’ and in red letters underneath, it said, STRICTLY DO NOT TOUCH.

      But how could Ruby resist? While Buzz was on the far side of the room, busy reading out the specifications of some much less interesting gadget, Ruby slipped the watch off its stand and popped it on to her wrist – it was a perfect fit.

      She pressed the winder and out shot a titanium cable, barely visible to the naked eye – it had a hook on the end and was clearly designed as a sort of climbing device. Ruby could see that by twisting the dial you could make the cable longer or shorter depending on how much you needed. What she couldn’t immediately see was a way of unhooking the hook and retracting the cable – which was unfortunate because seconds later the door opened and Ruby heard the sound of softly padding feet. Bare feet.

      LB.

      Ruby stood very still and smiled a big smile. She hoped LB wouldn’t notice what had happened and she hoped that if she did then the smile might go some way to softening LB’s reaction.

      This, it turned out, was a wrong assumption.

      ‘Redfort, if you must grin like an idiot, please don’t direct it at me,’ drawled LB. She clearly hadn’t noticed Ruby’s predicament, and launched into a conversation with Buzz. Ruby wrestled with the cable – she finally managed to unhook it and even managed to find the retracting device just before Buzz signalled to her that it was time to take the exam. Unfortunately there was no chance to replace the watch back in its drawer.

      Buzz was in a hurry. ‘Just push that drawer shut,’ she said. ‘Once we leave the room everything locks automatically.’

      Ruby knew if she was caught with the watch then her agent assignment would certainly be over. There was nothing else for it but to stuff it deep into her jacket pocket. Maybe there would be a chance to return it later – after she took the test.

       No one need ever know.

       Chapter 12.

      The silent G

      THEY WERE MET IN THE CORRIDOR by an uptight-looking man in a self-conscious sort of suit.

      ‘Ruby... Redfort?’ he said, reading from his clipboard as if there were a whole troupe of school children waiting to take a secret agency test.

      Ruby looked around. ‘Well, I’m pretty sure she’s called Buzz,’ she said, nodding at Buzz. ‘So I guess that would be me.’

      The man sniffed. ‘Follow me, would you.’ He was very uptight. He could only be about twenty-three and was dressed in a pathetically showy way. All hair product and bleached teeth but no style.

      Ruby caught sight of his ID badge. ‘Miles Froghorn?’

      ‘That’s Frohorn,’ corrected the man. ‘The G is silent’

      He led her down a series of orange through yellow through ochre corridors. Ruby trailed her fingers on the shiny gloss paint and the man snapped his head round. ‘Please don’t touch.’ Ruby opened her mouth to speak but the man held up his hand. ‘No questions please.’

       Boy, is this guy a prize potato head.

      They continued in silence until he stopped, opened a door of uncertain colour – commonly described as sludge – and pointed to a desk in the middle of an empty room. He then placed a pile of papers on the table. ‘Here’s a pencil. You have one hour and one minute. You are only required to give one answer, any crossings out, any changes of mind, will be seen as a wrong answer. If you have an urgent need to go to the bathroom, suppress it. Any questions? Good, I didn’t think so.’

      ‘Yep Mr Froghorn, just one actually.’ (She ignored the silent G thing.) ‘Have you ever considered moving into the care industry because boy, I really think you might be wasting those great people skills.’

      Froghorn looked at her, all beady eyes and defensive – like a cobra, or was it a jackal?

      ‘Do your test little girl, fail it, and then I’m sure an adult will drive you home. A few people here might rate you, but what you need to be aware of is that you are no Bradley Baker and you never will be.’

      ‘Just who is this Bradley Baker?’

      But Froghorn wasn’t about to explain. When he exited the room he slammed the door so hard the sound echoed down the corridor.

      I must remember that silent G, said Ruby to herself.

      Ruby picked up her pencil and took a look at the papers in front of her. There were thirty-seven problems and one hour and one minute to solve them in. That meant just ninety-nine seconds on each one. She glanced at the clock and began reading.

      Spectrum Agency Test –

      37 problems – Time 61 minutes.

      (1) You have to take three criminals back to the County Jail: Alexei Asimov, Walter Trunch and Carlo Carlucci. You have to cross a river on the way, and the boat only takes two people at a time. The trouble is that if you leave the criminals together, Asimov will kill Trunch, and Trunch will kill Carlucci. How can you get them safely across the river?

      She smiled, geez that was easy – just thirty-six to go.

      (2) You have seven gold bars. However one of them is a counterfeit and weighs less than the others. You have a set of balance scales but you may only use them twice. How do you identify the counterfeit gold bar?

      Boy, if all the questions were going to be this simple the time was really going to drag.

      (3) Calculate

      * ANSWERS AT THE BACK OF THE BOOK!

      Now this is more like it – question three was one of those questions that keep highly respected mathematicians up all night. Ruby furrowed her brow – for about twenty-eight seconds, then she grinned.

       Oh, I get it.

      When Froghorn walked back into the room he found Ruby hunched