The Complete Ruby Redfort Collection. Lauren Child

Bexenheath had found herself agreeing to excuse Ruby Redfort from all lessons for the foreseeable future. She had concentrated carefully, all the while staring into his Hollywood eyes, wondering were they brown or were they hazel. And although after he had left she couldn’t exactly remember why she had excused Ruby from classes, she did find herself very sympathetic.

      ‘Of course! Of course, she must take all the time she needs,’ she had gushed.

      ‘Just remember, Mrs Bexenheath, keep it hush hush – oh and don’t bother Mr and Mrs Redfort, if you need to ask anything then be sure to bother me.’

      ‘Oh I will, I will,’ said Mrs Bexenheath sincerely.

      Hitch thanked the school secretary for her warmth and kindheartedness, and promised that yes, he would make a point of visiting the school again soon. Then he said goodbye and returned to the car where Ruby was waiting.

      ‘So?’ said Ruby when Hitch got back into the driver’s seat.

      ‘Mrs Bexenheath passed on her warmest wishes and insists you take all the time you need.’

      ‘Really? What did you tell the old crab apple?’ asked Ruby

      ‘Well, it seems that your grandmother has contracted a rare but not infectious virus while bird watching in the Australian Alps – condition, serious,’ Hitch said, turning the key in the ignition.

      ‘There are no Australian Alps,’ said Ruby.

      ‘Well someone should have told your grandmother that because now look at her.’

      ‘I can’t, she’s in New York – probably all tucked-up in her penthouse apartment,’ said Ruby.

      ‘Let’s not tell Mrs Bexenheath that or she might get really upset.’

      ‘You know what man, you’re some butler.’

      ‘I prefer household manager but thanks kid. Now, I think a little trip to see our friends at Spectrum.’

      ‘Why is it called Spectrum?’ asked Ruby

      ‘You’ll see,’ said Hitch as he sped out of the parking lot.

      Ruby sat back. Maybe this guy wasn’t so bad. He certainly knew how to concoct total nonsense – perhaps they were going to get along after all.

      When they entered HQ it wasn’t via the manhole cover that Ruby had previously used – no, this time they had to climb along the side of the Twinford Bridge. She now understood why the toast had recommended boots.

      They stopped when they found a tiny rusted metal doorway covered in graffiti – nonsensical words and sprayed on images, including one of a fly. Different from the one on the manhole cover but a fly none the less.

      ‘How come we’re not going down through that old drain hole?’ she said.

      Hitch smiled. ‘There’s a saying at Spectrum: “If you want to lead the enemy straight to your door then just keep using the same one.” That’s why we have a lot of different ways in – we are always sealing one up and opening another. We have to, we can’t risk anyone finding our true location.’

      ‘But how do they construct all of this?’ said Ruby peering into the gloomy passage way. ‘All these passages and corridors? And how do they link up? I don’t get it.’

      ‘And nor should you kid – that’s for them to know and us to be completely confused about,’ replied Hitch with a wink.

      Hitch and Ruby were greeted by a dowdily dressed woman who introduced herself simply as Buzz. She was the least buzzy person Ruby had ever seen.

      ‘Buzz?’ repeated Ruby.

      ‘It’s a nickname,’ said Buzz, by way of explanation. It was clear she wasn’t the sharing type. The reception area was light and glossy, spacious in a way that made you wonder where they got all the space from.

      ‘Give us a minute will you kid?’ said Hitch.

      Ruby wandered across the hall-like room, her eyes darting from object to object, her brain trying to make sense of the place. Buzz and Hitch were talking way over on the other side of the room. Ruby could make out every other sentence, or just about – most of it pretty dull but one thing she heard intrigued her.

      ‘How do you think she measures up to you know who?’

      ‘Bradley Baker? Your guess is as good as mine.’

      ‘Well, if she even comes close I’ll be amazed.’

      ‘Perhaps she’ll surprise us all.’

      Ruby had no idea what they were talking about – Bradley Baker? Who was he and why did she have to measure up to him?

      ‘Ready kid?’ called Hitch

      She stopped pretending not to listen and walked over to where they were standing. ‘What now?’

      ‘You need to be security cleared and then you can take the ninety-nine second test.’

      ‘What’s the ninety-nine second test?’ asked Ruby. ‘And why do I need to take it? I thought I already passed.’

      ‘Kid, everyone who walks through the Spectrum door has to take the agency test – it’s protocol.’

      Before Ruby could begin to argue, they were interrupted by a middle-aged man with wild looking hair and a slightly stupid grin.

      ‘Come on Ms Redfort, time for your close-up,’ he said. ‘Just got to get all your security details: a nice mug shot, a couple of paw prints, footprints, height, weight, hair colour, eye colour, teeth colour, nail colour, you name it, I need it.’

      A comedian, thought Ruby, but it turned out he wasn’t joking.

      After all the checks had been made and every hair on Ruby’s head had been counted – at least that’s what it felt like – there was some time to kill before she had to sit the Spectrum test.

      ‘Buzz, give the kid a little tour of the gadget room,’ said Hitch. ‘That’ll keep her out of trouble.’

      He was wrong about that.

      Buzz matter-of-factly acted the tour guide, pointing out this and that as they walked. Corridors peeled off in every direction and staircases wound up through various rooms. It wasn’t like any spy agency Ruby had seen on TV – it was much more interesting. For a start, with the exception of LB’s office, everything was in colour. Ruby had imagined the whole of HQ would be black, white and chrome – that was how a spy agency was meant to look. But this was unexpected – each department was painted in shades of a different colour; corridors gradually melted from blue to indigo to violet.

      ‘Oh I get it,’ said Ruby. ‘That’s why you guys call this place spectrum – it’s the colours, right?’

      ‘Uh huh,’ nodded Buzz.

      When they got to the gadget room, Ruby’s pulse really started to race. Ever since she was tiny she had always dreamt of having special powers. What had attracted her to the Agent Deliberately Dangerous graphic novels were the gadgets. There was always a gadget which Agent Deliberately would pull out in the nick of time – thus saving his life and often the lives of many others.

      Buzz pointed out a small silver object.

      The Breathing Buckle.

      To be used underwater. Slip buckle off belt, place between teeth and breathe comfortably for 27 minutes, two seconds. Warning! No reserve air canister.

      Getaway Shoes.

      Depress green button on base of left shoe to convert to ‘roller shoes’.

      Big deal, thought Ruby, a kid at my school has those. But then she read on.

      Depress red button on base of right shoe to activate power jets. Maximum speed 91 miles per hour for a distance of 7 miles