Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 1 - 12. Derek Landy

and respect. She decided she liked the old man very much, even though she’d never met him.

      “The two people ahead of us,” Skulduggery said, “are Geoffrey Scrutinous and Philomena Random.” Scrutinous had bizarrely frizzy hair and a goatee, and despite the cold weather outside, he was wearing sandals. Random’s appearance was altogether more sober – she had short hair, a warm coat, and none of the beads or rings or bangles that decorated her colleague’s wrists and hands.

      “They’re public relations officers – it’s their job to convince the mortals they didn’t see what they thought they saw. The five people glaring at the Necromancers call themselves the Four Elementals. They see themselves as being in harmony with the world around them, and because of this they’re astonishingly self-righteous.”

      “The Four Elementals?”

      “Yes.”

      “But there are five of them.”

      “I know.”

      “Can they not count?”

      “They started off with four, but then Amity, the man with the unusual chin married the heavyset woman with all the jewellery and insisted she be allowed to become the fifth member of the quartet.”

      “Couldn’t they just rename themselves?”

      “And become the Five Elementals, when there are only four elements? They didn’t want to lose their precious synchronicity.”

      “It’s better than everyone thinking you can’t count.”

      “That it is,” said someone at Valkyrie’s elbow. She turned, surprised to see Corrival Deuce standing there. She hadn’t heard him approach. “You’re Valkyrie Cain,” he said, smiling. “I’ve heard so much about you. This is indeed an honour.”

      She shook his hand. “Hi,” was all she could think to say.

      “Erskine,” Corrival said. “Skulduggery. Good to see you again.”

      “I didn’t think you’d come,” Ravel said to the older sorcerer.

      Corrival barked a laugh. “What, after a solid three weeks of you pestering me about it?”

      “I thought I was being subtle.”

      “You don’t know the meaning of the word. Where are the others, then? Where’s Ghastly, and Vex?”

      “Ghastly hates these things,” Skulduggery said, “and I don’t know where Vex is.”

      “Probably having another adventure,” Corrival said with a little sigh. “That boy needs to grow up one of these days, he really does. What about Anton Shudder?”

      “Shudder likes to stay in his hotel,” Ravel said. “Besides all the Remnants trapped in there, he also has a vampire guest to contend with. If I were him, I’d want to keep a close eye on things too.”

      The memory of Caelan’s kiss came flooding back into Valkyrie’s mind, and she fought against it in vain.

      Corrival looked around. “So is this it? Is everyone here? Erskine, maybe you should start the ball rolling. I have places to go and things to do.”

      “Me?” Ravel asked. “Why do I have to start it? You’re the most respected mage here. You start it. Or Skulduggery.”

      Skulduggery shook his head. “I can’t start it. I don’t like most of these people. I might start shooting.”

      Ravel scowled. “Fine.”

      He turned, cleared his throat, and spoke loudly. “Everyone who is going to be here is here,” he announced. The other conversations died down, and all eyes turned to him. “We all know why we’ve gathered. If we can elect a Grand Mage today, then we can immediately start work on forming a new Council and finding a new Sanctuary.”

      “Before we talk about the new Sanctuary,” Geoffrey Scrutinous said, “I think we should discuss the old one. In particular, I think everyone would like to ask how the search for Davina Marr has been going.”

      “As far as we know, she’s still in the country,” Skulduggery said. “Any more than that, I’m afraid I can’t disclose.”

      “Why not?” asked the Elemental named Amity.

      “It’s an ongoing investigation.”

      “She has evaded you for five months already, Detective Pleasant. Maybe we should be entrusting somebody else with the task of tracking her down.”

      “Then by all means, Amity,” Skulduggery said, “find someone else.”

      “The damage has been done,” the woman called Shakra said in a Belfast accent. “Marr isn’t important, not any more. What is important is how weak we appear. The Sanctuaries around the world are waiting to pounce, did you know that?”

      “That’s a slight exaggeration,” Scrutinous said.

      “Is it? The Americans have already announced how they will no longer stand by and watch as Ireland struggles against the legacy that people like Mevolent have left us. That’s what they said, word for word.”

      “It was a gesture of support,” Amity said.

      “No,” Shakra responded, “it was a threat. They’re telling us they’re getting ready to step in and take over if something like this happens again.”

      Amity shook his head. “Nonsense. Ireland is a Cradle of Magic. No one would dare disrupt the delicate balance that holds the world in check.”

      Shakra scowled. “You’re a moron.”

      “Being rude does not make you more intelligent than I.”

      “No, being more intelligent than you makes me more intelligent than you, you goat-brained simpleton.”

      “I did not come here to be insulted.”

      “What, do you have somewhere special to go for that kind of thing?”

      “Can we please focus?” Corrival asked. Immediately, everyone shut up. “In the last five years alone, two of our Elders have been murdered, the third betrayed us, and the Grand Mage who took over has been revealed as a criminal. Two out of Mevolent’s Three Generals returned, and the Faceless Ones actually broke through into this reality.

      “Amity, you and your Four Elementals may not want to believe this, but Ireland is under attack. We have enemies both obvious and hidden. The war with Mevolent was fought largely on Irish soil. His actions, and the actions of his followers, have created an instability that is impossible to be rid of. This is where the agents of unrest are drawn. There is blood in the water here.”

      “That’s right,” Flaring said. “Dark sorcerers like Charivari in France, or Keratin in the mountains of Siberia, hate us and plot against us with every moment that passes. And what about all the visions of this Darquesse person, laying waste to the world? We need to be ready.”

      Valkyrie saw the nods and the looks in the eyes. If any one of them knew the truth, they’d have torn her apart right there and then.

      “Then we need to get down to business,” High Priest Tenebrae said. “The task ahead is not an easy one. We’ll have to set up a new Council, elect a Grand Mage and two Elders, build a new Sanctuary and consolidate our power base. Even though it will add greatly to my responsibilities and workload, I am willing to put my own name forward for the role of Grand Mage.”

      There were some rolled eyes and cruel whispers, but Corrival held up a hand to silence them. “Thank you, High Priest. Who are the other nominees?”

      “Some of us have been talking about this among ourselves,” Scrutinous said, “and we’d like to suggest Corrival Deuce as a candidate.”

      Corrival raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

      “You’re